Amiga Plus 2004 #6/Amiga Plus CD - 2004 - No. 06.iso/AmiSoft/Misc/imdb/imdbDiff040416.lha/diffs/quotes.diff

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CRC: 0xF038ADC6  File: quotes.list  Date: Fri Apr 23 01:00:00 2004
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This is the Quotes List v1940 [Fri Apr 23 00:31:21 BST 2004]
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Spot: I can have a sandwich named after me. Just think..."Chicken
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Lucky: Which is my best side?
Spot: You're sitting on it.

Princess: I must have "sucker" written on my behind.

Lucky: Some hero. Nothing like the way I planned it. The bad guy beat
  me at every turn, and look at how it ended! I got plucked like a
  chicken! No offense, Spot.
Spot: None taken... Baldy!

Lucky: What was I thinking? I don't have a chance!
Cadpig: There is no such thing as chance, Lucky. It's all up to
  destiny, and today, my name is "Destiny"!

Lucky: I'd be the envy of all my fellow canines...
Cadpig: Attention. Flight director, Lucky. Your ego trip has been
  cancelled.

Lucky: I wasn't meant to live the life of a farm animal. I need
  adventure, excitement, like Thunderbolt! I should be battling
  incidious villains, facing fur-raging danger, bouldy going where no
  puppy has gone before!
Cadpig: Welcome to Lucky's Rich Fantasy Life, and now back to
  reality.

Cadpig: And now for the second phase of the greiving process...
  ANGER!

Cadpig: Rolly, you really must learn to control your appetite;
  appetite shouldn't control you!

Cadpig: Just think, for one brief moment, the name, Anita Dearly,
  will stand for all that is pure, and lovely, and must be dry
  cleaned.

Cadpig: Oh Rolly, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, and if
  you do that to me again, I'm going to violate the other six on you!

Cadpig: Relax for once, Spot. Hang ten on the cosmic surfboard of
  freedom!
Spot: Cadpig, your metaphisical metaphors are getting weirder and
  weirder!

Lucky: You guys could help me, you know!
Cadpig: I thought this was just some Iron John macho thing. All you
  had to do was ask.

Cadpig: Well, Rolly, I'm imagining you're a hopeless dreamer. [gasps]
  Look! You've become one!

Rolly: Oh papa!

Rolly: Come on, help me pull this thing loose.
Spot: I thought you were too much a gourmet to chew shoes.
Rolly: I'm not gonna chew it, I'm gonna fetch it to Cruella. Maybe my
  good deed will earn a hand up.
Cadpig: Yeah, and maybe the Tooth Fairy will fly away to Lollypop
  Land and get a cavity.

Spot: Dear Lucky, I know it must be complicated for a mere puppy to
  understand the complex in the life of an artiste, but for the first
  time in my life, I feel appreciated, I feel needed...
Cadpig: I feel nauseous!

Lucky: Red Airedale rules!
Cadpig: Yellow's my favorite.
Rolly: I like the brown one. It looks like gravy.

Cadpig: Poor Pug. He's metaphorically challenged.

Horace: I think I got it now, Jasper..."Listen, this is a stick up!
  Fork over the money!"
Jasper: Too late for that, Horace. Try this..."Help! We're trapped in
  a store room!"
Horace: Help! We're stored in a trap room!
Jasper: Close.

Spot: I can still see Lucky and Rolly and good old Cadpig... it's
  almost as if I'm still alive.
Rolly: Spot, you ARE still alive.

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  fish, enough to feed forty thousand...
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John Prescott: Well that was a nice starter.
[clutches stomach]
John Prescott: Excuse me guys, I can feel a second coming!

Sven: [about Wayne Rooney] He is young. He is learning.
1904a1989,2003
Simon: Ruthie... how ya doing?
Ruthie: Fine, how are you doing?
Simon: Fine... but I'm not in school.
Ruthie: ...bye.
Simon: Wait... how is school?
Ruthie: Fine, except for algerbra.
Simon: You're lying... no one said anything to you about me?
Ruthie: Well, why would they?
Simon: Becase I'm your brother and... the kid on the bike was your
  age.
Ruthie: He didn't go to my school.
Simon: Look, you don't have to protect me. I have it easier than you,
  I'm not in school.
Ruthie: [hugs him] Simon, no one has it harder than you.

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Spike: Where you going?
Angel: To see my lawyer.

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Angel: What the hell are you doing?
Gunn: What needs to be done.

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Fred: [to Wes in a dream] Don't you understand that I'm gone?

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Angelus: - Get your asses kicked? I don't know-wild guess.
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Angel: [to Spike] This isn't a meeting, this is you being annoying.

Angel: [about Fred] I should never have brough her here. I should
  have known... bad things always happen here.
Spike: Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen
  everywhere.

Spike: You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?
Angel: Done it. I came here.

[after the Senior Partners find Eve]
Eve: You bastard, you told them!
Angel: Wasn't me!

Angel: Gunn, you payed a high price for what's inside that head of
  yours... use it.

[Lindsey and Trish kiss as their son Zach bounces on the bed]
Zach: Stop it! I don't want any sisters!

Gunn: Where we're going, it's ot in the Thomas Guide.
Spike: There's going to be fire.

Lindsey: Angel... [sees the knife on Angel's belt]... make it quick.
Angel: If I was gonna kill you I definitely wouldn't make it quick.

Spike: [walks outside to find the Camaro missing] Uh... didn't we
  have a car?

Spike: [seeing instruments of torture in the basement of Lindsey's
  "house"] Somebody has fun with these.

[Gunn has to take Lindsey's place in hell]
Angel: You knew.
Gunn: Little thing about atonement.

Eve: Hurry!
Lorne: What do you call this?

Spike: [after landing on the hood of one of Angel's cars when coming
  back from "hell"] I'm on fire, I'm on... ! [looks down] Never mind.

Lorne: Where's Gunn? [pause] Angel?
Angel: He stayed behind.
Lorne: Stayed behind? But we never... [Angel gives him a look] Oh, I
  guess we do. That's what we do now.

Angel: [about Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liason]
  Damn... he is well dressed.

Spike: [Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liason reaches in
  his jacket pocket . . .] Whoa... [and pulls out a pen]... didn't
  see that coming.

Lindsey: Look, it's my hero.
Angel: I'm not your hero. I'm your warden.
Lindsey: It's all in how you look at the glass.

Lindsey: [to Eve after she signs a paper signing over her
  immortality] Still happy to see me?

Lindsey: Hereos don't accept the world the way it is... they fight
  it.

Lindsey: The war's here, Angel, and you're already two soldiers down.

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[after listening to both teams' final opinions of Bill and Kwami]
Donald Trump: You haven't helped me at all. Get out.

Donald Trump: You're Hired!

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Lucille Bluth: I would have given it to you, but I didn't want to
  invite the comparison.
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Lindsay Funke: Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
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[getting off the phone with George Sr]
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J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note!

Michael: You taught me a lesson about not teaching lessons?
George Sr.: That was my last lesson.

Gob: Where am I? Two-thirds of a hospital room?

Gob: Are you Hermano?
Spanish actor: Como?
Gob: You're gonna be in a como, pal!

Michael: You knew all along, didn't you?
George Michael: Sorta. One of the hot cops was my choir teacher.

Gob: (smoking) It's cold out here.

Michael: (about George Michael's test) A-?
George Michael: Are you proud of me?
Michael: Very proud... minus.

Lindsay: [saying how stress can lead to drugs]... like the stress you
  put on George Michael, even when he gets an A.
Michael: *Minus*, and he knows an A gets him ice cream.

George Michael: (arguing with his math book) Dumb, dumb George
  Michael, dumb...
Michael: Hey, calm down there, you two; it's just a math problem.
George Michael: Yeah, but if I fail math then there goes my chances
  to get a good job and have a happy life full of hard work, like you
  always say, right Dad?

Michael: (to George Michael) I want you to take the rest of the day
  off. Here's 20 bucks, buy something you don't need, be a kid, make
  mistakes, get in trouble.
Buster: Yes, make a mistake. Take 225 from me.

Michael: Well, it's not like you made a commitment to her or
  anything.
Buster: No, not a commitment... but I did refer to it as "our
  nausea," but that was when we were going at it pretty hot and
  heavy.
Michael: Well, now it's my nausea.

Buster: [describing Lucille 2 as he saw her without glasses on]... a
  darkish area with... points.

Gob: Gilligan killed the Skipper - I mean, the stripper!

Lucille: I don't want to leave Buster alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.
Buster: I can spell, Mother; you spelled juice.
Lucille: What a genius. Let's see you find it.

Michael: We're gonna go on a fishing trip.
George Michael: Why? What did I do?

Michael: [to Lucille] You're giving the company to a guy who thought
  the blue part of a map was land?

Gob: [whistling] I have some conditionsss...
Michael: Do you?
Gob: ...termsss... One condition and one term!

Prison guard: No touching!

Michael: [in police car] What'd you do?
George Michael: Just trying to be a good guy.
Michael: Me too... let's go visit Pop-Pop.

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Buster moves to the
  kitchen.

[After letting Gob back into the magic Alliance]
Alliance member: How'd you find two Alliance-approved assistants so
  fast?
Gob: Oh, I just used my nephew and my girlfriend.
Alliance Member: You're out.

Maeby: [as Surely] No more BS! No more BS!

Gob: Michael, you have a chance to save this family. Please, do the
  right thing here - string this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't
  have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you in the face
  and it can't even see you!

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[whispers in Lennier's ear, and Lennier looks very suprised]
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Susan Ivanova: If I live through this without completely losing my
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Captain Barney Miller: I'm... flattered that you chose to use it.
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Bernice Fish: You've got your whole life ahead of you. What do you
  need that for?
Drug User: Because I got my whole life ahead of me.

Bernie Fish: If you wanted a massage, why didn't you ask me?
Phil Fish: Bernie, haven't I always told you that you rub me the
  wrong way?

Gardeno: I just wanna do my job. I don't wanna shave.
Barney Miller: What's the matter, you got a skin condition?
Gardeno: If necessary.
Barney Miller: And the earring?
Gardeno: I'm engaged.
Barney Miller: You go home, shave, put on a clean shirt, break your
  engagement, and report back to me.
Gardeno: What about my transfer?
Barney Miller: What the hell for? They'll just send you to somebody
  who's not nearly as sweet as I am.

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  t'would be a coward's answer. I will know the truth instead. Then -
  it will be either them, or me, that face oblivion...
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Cheetor: Come in Predacon base.
Megatron: Pussy cat. Yes? State your business?
Cheetor: Listen up you miswired metalheads. You botched your little
  attitude adjustment on Optimus. He's flaming towards you on the
  red-eye express and he's loaded for mainframe combat so why don't
  you fork over the counter-virus before you get vaped?
Megatron: Any Maximal that comes blundering into our base will not
  survive. Megatron out... INSOLENT BUG!

Cheetor: Beast mode.
Dinobot: Well?
Cheetor: It didn't work. All we did was tip them off and now they're
  going to be waiting for him. You and your bright ideas.
Dinobot: If Optimus can truly think like Optimus the rest of us will
  have to think on our own.

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Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, what the hell are you doing? You're not
  supposed to have your penis out while you're cooking!

[repeated line]
Beavis: Damn we're smooth.

[watching a Type O Negative video]
Butt-head: These guys remind me of Danzig and my butt.
Beavis: That's not very nice, Butt-Head.
Butt-head: Yeah it is. My butt rules!

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Margaret: [on the phone] I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
[hangs up the phone and Becker walks in]
Margaret: What did you do?
Becker: I don't know.

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Margaret: Just for today, you are Beth.
Lynda: I don't like the name Beth.
Linda: I do, can I be Beth?
Lynda: I want to be Beth too.
Margaret: You can't both be Beth.
Linda: Why? We're both Linda.
Lynda: Let's pick our own names.
Linda: I want to be Margaret.
Lynda: No, I want to be Margaret.
Margaret: I want to be dead.

Becker: Uh-Linda?
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Becker: I meant Linda.
Linda, Lynda: Yes?
Margaret: You're both named Linda?
Linda, Lynda: Yes.
Becker: I just had that creepy feeling I had in medical school
  watching the cell divide.

[Linda stands up with a post-it note stuck on her forehead]
Linda: I had a message for Margaret but I can't find it.
Becker: Was it to tell her Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, it's like you read my mind.
Becker: Some are easier than others.
[Becker walks away and Margaret comes in]
Linda: I have a message for you.
Margaret: Was it to tell me Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, you people are freaky.
[Linda goes in the back]
Becker: I won't tell her if you won't tell her.

[Doing a word association test]
Reggie: Dog.
Becker: Leave.
Reggie: Tree.
Becker: Me.
Reggie: Man.
Becker: Alone.
Reggie: Hey!

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[Scott is complaining of having to spend the summer with his
  grandparents]
David Silver: You'll have fun.
Scott Scanlon: Name one thing fun about Oklahoma.
David Silver: I'll betcha not one girl there has ever met a
  California stud before.

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Roger Smith: Er - it was dark! I couldn't see in that dump.
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  is even interested in learning the truth - a truth that must be
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Alan Gabriel: Destroying pretty dolls is always entertaining. But
  it'll be so difficult to match the pleasure I'll get, from
  destroying a work of art like you!

R. Dorothy Wayneright: What exactly are you? My senses tell me you
  are not human. Are you an android like me?
Alan Gabriel: I'm the boogeyman!

Alan Gabriel: Big Duo! Showtime!

Alan Gabriel: But I haven't killed him yet!
Schwarzwald: You! You contain both the idiocy of both man and
  machine!
Alan Gabriel: Shut up!
Schwarzwald: The Megadeuce chooses one who can arrive not at one true
  destiny. THAT'S NOT THE CASE WITH YOU!

Schwarzwald: Don't be afraid of knowledge. If man ceases to fear,
  then the species will arrive at a dead end, only to await for our
  own pitiful extinction. Think, you miserable humans of the world!
  If you want to discover the truth, you must think! Find,
  Schwarzwald!

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# "Bishôjo senshi Sailor Moon R" (1993)
Neo-Queen Serenity: Do you know why we didn't help you up? It was
  because we wanted you to have the strength to do it own your own

Wiseman: Human's are born alone and die alone
Chibi-Usa: I finally realized I'm not alone... Wiseman

Sailorpluto: All who break the taboo and the rules of the space time
  corridor... shall be eliminated...!

Ms Sakurada: Ami-chan! You don't want to hang around a bad influence
  like Usagi!

Usagi: This baby was suppose to be a girl, but it has a penis! AAUGH!
  Ewwww...

Makajui: Please Sailor Moon, purify me...
Sailor Moon: Moon Princess Halation!
Makajui: Cleansing...!

Cooan: I've lost everything!
Sailormars: No, Cooan, your new life starts now!

Petz: Ha! I wouldn't care if one or two more worthless pieces of scum
  died.
Sailormoon: How dare she!
Beruche: No! Sailor Warriors, she's seriously our sister, it's that
  wand that's possessing her!
Petz: GO TO HELL!

Naru: Promise ring!
Usagi: Pro Wresling?
[Imagines Naru and Umino wrestling]
Usagi: How kinky...

Wiseman: O nothingness, O darkness Guide me to the resurrection of
  the Death Phantom, almighty god of the universe
Saphir: So that Wiseman was up to something behind our back... Damn
  Him!

Wiseman: You've seen too much, so I must send you to your grave!
Saphir: Wiseman! You damn bastard!

Neo-Queen Serenity: Love isn't something you take, it's something you
  gain
Prince Dimande: So I was wrong...
Neo-Queen Serenity: An error doesn't become a mistake unless you
  refuse to change it
[Wiseman watches behind the Pillar]
Wiseman: How could you let such an idiot persuade you so easily?


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Sailorvenus: In the name of the moon, your punished!
Usagi: That's my line, Damn You!

Ami: Knowlage is something you learn on your own, computers don't
  make you smart!
Gaboran: Shut the hell up!

Rei: Grandpa, stop hitting on those girls! Your making them leave the
  temple!

Mamoru: Usagi, Umino's your date?
[Usagi Blushes]
Usagi: Haha, no
[Umino emerges through the bushes]
Umino: Oh Usagi, shall we finish our prune milkshake?
[Rei and Mamoru laugh]

Rei: I wish I could have kissed Yuuchiro before I died...
Usagi: Rei!
[Rei dies]

[Mamoru about to kill Usagi]
Usagi: PLEASE STOP!
Usagi: Please remember me, Princess Serenity of the past, and that
  perky Onago-head Usagi

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[deliberate double-entendre in item about door knockers at York
  Minster]
Chris Wenner: Why not go along to the cathedral and see if you can't
  have a look at the two knockers side by side.
Simon Groom: Hmmm. What a beautiful pair of knockers.

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Father Powell: You don't believe?
Gil Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday
  supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down by God?
Gil Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How
  many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Gil Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.

[After Nick takes Archie to a crime scene at a software company]
Greg Sanders: I thought we had a relationship going! What are you
  doing taking Archie into the field instead of me?
Nick Stokes: Right tool for the right job, man.
Greg Sanders: What do you mean?
Nick Stokes: Hey, Archie? What's that "Star Trek" episode with that
  guy and the thingy on his forehead and that portal...?
Archie: Original, TNG, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, or Enterprise?
Greg Sanders: Point taken.

Sara Sidle: It's always encouraging when public bathrooms are out of
  soap.
[later]
Sara Sidle: Asphyxiated and head bashed in. No soap was the least of
  his problems.

[investigators can't explain why a victim was home]
Catherine Willows: Hey, if you can explain the behavior of teenagers,
  more power to you.

Catherine Willows: We're going to need urine samples so we can test
  for nicotine in your systems.
Mrs. Abernathy: My house is burned down. My daughter is dead. And you
  want me to pee into a cup. Sure. Why not?

[about an elastic plastic]
Gil Grissom: What's it found in?
Hodges: Greg-Sanders-wear.

[talking to a suspect about a broken mirror at the crime scene]
Sara Sidle: You know that's seven years bad luck.
Captain Jim Brass: More like seven to ten.

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# "Celeste siempre Celeste" (1993)
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Valentin: You took for my father, because you were the son, which one
  can be proud. I didn't told nothing. I never nothing spoke. I
  endured. You took my bride, and I too have endured. It's not the
  news for anybody, you have been seeing the maid in me, not the
  brother. Why does Valentin need? For what? For everything, that
  above him to scoff! But I all suffered, I swear you Brother, I all
  suffered. But you took my son. I can't forgive you.

Clara: Franquito, tell it once again.
Franco: I want you.
Clara: Is it all?
Franco: I always want you...

Franco: Do you like the flowers?
Celeste: Yes.
Franco: And the card?
Ñeleste: Too.
Franco: May I give a gift for you?
Celeste: No.
Franco: I ask you.
Celeste: What is it?
Franco: The ring.
Celeste: No, Franco, I won't have any more rings. I have lost my
  ring...

Celeste: Why have you come?
Franco: I've come to tell your sister has left forever. Lucas needs
  his mother, I need my wife. You're the only woman, which I've been
  loving.
Celeste: Why do you say it to me? Is it needs me?
Franco: But why don't you want to understand me?
  they're alone.
  Celeste I understand you very much. Now, when my sister has left,
  you're afraid to be alone.
Franco: I've always loved only you, I didn't love your sister and
  didn't want you to replace, but when she appeared...
Celeste: Franco, I never cheated you. Even when I didn't have memory,
  I haven't cheated you with the husband, which was imposed. You were
  the only man in my life, alone... And now you should leave.
Franco: Do you hate me?...
  Celeste No... I love you... (their eyes are filled up by the tears)
Franco: I've always loved only you and I'll love...

Franco: Have you wished my death?
Celeste: How can I wish the death to the father of my son or to
  somebody?... I've thought you'll be a bald, a thick and impotent -
  to any women won't fuck with you...

Franco: Celeste, please... Can you go more slowly? I'm choking.
Celeste: Of course, you've changed many beds.

Celeste: This tree is only yours now, Franco... There is no mine
  forever...
Franco: I love you with all my heart.
  Celeste approaches to Franco and gives him a slap...
Celeste: It's the end. Don't touch me. Don't look at all at me.
Franco: I ask, listen to me.
Celeste: That's enough. At first, you love me, then my sister, then
  again me, but you sleep with Clara. Do you like the sisters,
  Franco? You're a debaucher. This game isn't for me and I leave it.
Franco: Have you finished?
Celeste: No. Do you know, what is it? (She has got a ring).
Franco: Yes. This ring, which the one I presented you with big love.
Celeste: With big love? We go with me and you'll see I'll do with
  yours big love...

Guido: Do you know why I don't want to die? Because one of my dreams
  hasn't come true...
Celeste: What?
Guido: You aren't my wife...
Celeste: It'll come true... We'll get married... I'll become your
  wife... (she cries)
Guido: I can't believe... Are you agree?... Will you become my wife?
  Are you kidding?
Celeste: How can I joke by these words? We'll get married. I love
  you...
Guido: Even, if you do it, 'cause you're pity me, all the same, if
  it's necessary to die to live with you, I'm off-the shelf to die...

Celeste: (the final monolog) God exists. Each day he gives us a new
  sun. We only need to rise the head to feel it, to open the eyes to
  see it. The sun is shining the sky, and the sky's waiting for us.
  We need a little love and we'll attain everything. This is the only
  way we'll teach to fly. We're all angels with only one wing. The
  only way we can fly is to hug others. Strongly-strongly, very
  strongly...

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Celeste: Do not swear and it is not necessary anything to find. I
  have learned much today's night.
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Celeste: Because you have seen my tears?
Franco: No, because I have seen your soul.
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  yours breast as in my heart. Brother Sun, Sister Moon". Who has
  presented it to you? Padre Benito?
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Teresa: The Visconti never cry.
Leandro: You're right. The Visconti never cry. They cause to cry...
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Celeste: Am I in your desire?
Franco: Yes, you are. But you're other.
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Celeste: : Why don't you leave. I could look after.
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Franco: Enzo, when you walk in a toilet, do you lower in the water
  closet the head?
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Leandro: What do you wanted to talk about?
Franco: About this photo. Do you know who is it?
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Franco: How you could hide, that you have a daughter? Don't worry
  anybody nothing knows. Only I'm and your conscience. I nobody shall
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Celeste: I know, senor. Mother always spoke, that children need to be
  learned to fly, instead of to fly for them. Children are the
  bridge, which carries on in the heaven. Who does not want to be in
  the heaven, senor?
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Franco: Can you shut up?

Franco: Do you know which place I like best?
Celeste: No.
Franco: Assisi.
Celeste: Assisi?
Franco: Yes, where St. Franciscus had lived. Do you know his story?
Celeste: I know St. Franciscus.
Franco: Yes, well, in the village, they say, he was crazy because he
  gave all his fortune to brothers Sun and sisters Moon, as he called
  them.
Celeste: Brothers Sun and Moon?
Franco: Yes, because he thought the names weren't important, so he
  called all the women Moon and all the men Sun. Didn't you see the
  movie?
Celeste: No.
Franco: It was called "Brother Sun Sister Moon". By the way, what is
  your name?
Celeste: Moon.

Franco: You won't leave till don't you say with whom do you have the
  date?
Leandro: [friendly] It's not a respecting, Bastard!
Franco: Who knows how many bastards do you have?
Leandro: You've said the nonsense.

Silvana: Do you know the end of your story?
Sebastian: Yes, I know. I'm doomed.
Silvana: It is necessary something to do. Bruno knows a good doctor.
Sebastian: I have AIDS. You think, that your husband knows a doctor,
  which will cure me?

Franco: Yours [Bruno] tears will not enough to pay for the all evil,
  which you've done.
Bruno: I'm dying, Franco!
Franco: This isn't an excuse!
Bruno: I'm your father!
Franco: No! Your seed doesn't make you my father. My father always
  was Leandro. He was a sonofabitch too, because he has thrown
  Celeste, but he was my father. He raised me.

Laura: I think, lo look on prisoners, it's funny!
Aida: Do you think so? Well, I think, you're funny when you see a
  poor boy asking for a meal 'cause he hadn't eaten for some days,
  you laugh, a prisoner. He's one in the world, 'cause the family
  brought him for the crime he's confessed or old people, when they
  show a precription for tablets they can't buy on their beggarly
  salary. Would you like me to continue saying many things which will
  have your laugh? Don't you like what I've said, Laura? Do you?
30029c30657
  second as his wheels touch the ground at Le Borge."
30038,30039c30666,30668
[about Lindbergh]
John Miller: When I saw him take off I shook my head and said 'we'll
  probably never see the poor guy again'.
30041c30670
A Scott Berg: [about Lindbergh during his flight] Never has one
30045c30674
  completely alone
30052c30681
Henry Pohl: [about President Kennedy's challenge to get a man on the
30054,30061c30683,30690
  dumbest thing I had ever heard in my life because we did not have
  the facility, we did not have the rocket engines, we did not have
  the life support systems and we didn't have the entry systems.

Steve Allen: [about Ed Sullivan's change of heart after refusing to
  book Elvis on his show] : As soon as he saw the ratings for show he
  forgot all about ethical principles and moral scruples and booked
  Elvis several times.
30068a30698,30811
# "Century: America's Time, The" (1999) (mini)
Ossie Davis: "The Harlem Renaissance" is one of those fancy terms
  that white folks use when they want to look at a certain aspect of
  black folks. I don't think any of us went around say, "Well, we
  gonna have us a renaissance," or anything like that. It was just a
  holiday of the spirit

[about the glory of Harlem in the 20s]
Ossie Davis: If I had to choose between Heaven and Harlem, oh ho ho!
  Harlem would win every time

[about the Scopes Monkey Trial]
Host/Narrator: What Scopes represented and what the world came to
  witness was a colossal clash of ideals. The cool reasoning of
  science seem to threaten the deep and dividing roots of religion.
  It was one thing to replace the family mule with the Model T but
  quite another to trade Matthew, Mark and John for Einstein, Freud
  and Darwin. For many people these were confusing times. And what
  may have been most unsettling about the pace of change in the 1920s
  was that people wanted both the benefits of the future and the
  familiar comforts of the past."

Lillian Hall Gerdau: My father was asked if he would like to join the
  Ku Klux Klan. He grabbed the guy by the collar and threw him down
  the stairs. Three nights later, almost directly across the street
  there was a large cross burning. My mother said 'It's almost as
  though they're guarding the gates of Hell'

[about the stock market crash of 1929]
Host/Narrator: 30 million dollars in paper value suddenly vanished
  that day as the stock market crashed. The 20's bubble had burst and
  with it the country's optimism.

[about Lindbergh's landing]
Ellie Sullivan: When Lindbergh came back, it was as though he walked
  on water. The public couldn't get enough of him. He was a star and
  there wasn't a woman in America who wasn't crazy about him

[about the Wall Street crash of 1929]
Clara Hancox: Overnight it was like bombs fell. People jumped off the
  George Washington bridge which had not long ago been built, people
  we knew! My father was wiped out, he never recovered,
  psychologically he never recovered.

[about FDR]
Ossie Davis: "He could, through the magic of his voice, involve you
  in the great adventure of making America work again

Host/Narrator: The flags of 60 nations flew over the 1939 World's
  Fair, only one major power was absent. Germany had been invited but
  Hitler had declined. He had his own plan for the world of tomorrow.

Host/Narrator: In the second world war this century 50 million people
  would die, nearly half of them civilians. They would die not
  because they lived near enemy targets but because they were the
  targets.

Hannah Greensueit: People being desperate will run after a man like
  Hitler

Host/Narrator: On the first Sunday December 1941, Americans were
  doing what Americans did on any normal Sunday. Soon every American
  would know that over 2000 of their countrymen had perised in the
  Japanese attack on Hawaii's Pearl Harbor and that nearly half of
  the fleet had been destroyed

[about Sinatra during WWII]
Host/Narrator: One young man who was not overseas, kept out of the
  service by a broken eardrum would begin a career about now that
  would remain a social phenomenon for half a century. The men of the
  time were less enamored of Sinatra, the military publication Stars
  and Stripes noted 'Mice make women scream too'.

Doris Kearns Goodwin: [About FDR's death]: "You could see the impact
  that his life had made on the American people when that famous
  trainride took place from Warm Springs Georgia to Washington D.C.
  Hundreds of thousands of people had come out just to see his body
  go by on the train simply as a tribute to the fact that this man
  had been their leader through the two greatest crises of their
  lives, first the depression and then the war itself"

[about the Hollywood blacklist]
Lee Grant: It was scary. I was 19 and I took the fifth. Being and
  informer and placing your fellow actor, fellow director, fellow
  friend in jeopardy meant that that family didn't work anymore. So
  taking that step was about the worst thing you could do

[about segregation]
Bernice Reagon: If you went to the Dairy Queen, white people could go
  in and sit down but black people had to go to the window. That did
  not change until the civil rights movement

[after WWI]
Host/Narrator: In the wake of the First World War, Europe lay in
  ruins. Even the victors France and Britain grappled with ruin and
  rage. In all, 9 million men had died. Everyone knew someone who had
  died, a father, a brother, a cousin, a friend. For years, the
  wounded and the maimed haunted the streets of every city in Europe,
  grim reminders of The Great War.

Robert McNamara: Make no mistake about it, if you make a mistake with
  regards to nuclear weapons you will destroy nations.

[after Vietnam]
Host/Narrator: The country had to now face the fact that there were
  some burdens too great to bear, some prices too steep to pay.

Host/Narrator: In 1997, the people of Britain gathered for a final
  farewell to Princess Diana. 96 years earlier in 1901 the same
  streets were crowded for the funeral of Queen Victoria who had
  given her name to an entire era. The world changed more between
  those two funerals than it had in 1000 years of history.


30260a31004,31010
Charlie Murphy: I knew what hotel he was stayin' at. I told my boys
  I'd catch up with them later. So I shot over to the hotel, went up
  to his room...
[Cuts to Rick James sitting on a dresser talking to himself]
Rick James: So then... he comes in there and I says, "Listen, bitch,
  I'm Rick James."

30323a31074,31081
Rick James: [as Charlie and Eddie Murphy beat up on his legs] YOU
  DARKNESS, YOU BLACK - LATE NIGHT - EVIL MOTHAFUCKAS - BLACK MAGIC,
  DARKNESS! YOU RAW... DARKNESS... YOU... DELIRIOUS... MOTHAFUCKAS.
  YOU WAS COLD AS ICE.
Charlie Murphy: [narrating] But still, after taking a beating like
  that, Rick's like...
Rick James: Fuck yo couch, nigga.

30554c31312
Wayne Brady: Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
30608a31367,31410
Audience Member: Negrodamus, why is President Bush convinced there
  are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
Negrodamus: Because he has the receipt

[on "Making the Band"]
Dylan: I mean, who are da five greatest rappers of all time?
[counting on his fingers]
Dylan: Dylan... Dylan... Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan.

Dave: [just been dumped by Oprah] Stefan... We're gonna get this
  bitch!
[Dave and Stefan laugh]
[Dave punches Stefan]
Dave: HAHAHAHAHA! OOPPRRAAHH!(echoing)

Tyrone Biggums: I gotta tell ya something, Joe Rogan. I smoke rocks.

Wayne Brady: [After shooting a guy outside a club]
  RIVERSIDE, MOTHA FUCKA!

Rick James: DRINK UP, BE MERRY! Welcome to the China Club -
  A-CHUNGA-CHUNG-KUNG-A-CHINGA-KUNG-KAW-CHING!

Rick James: CHARLIE MURPHY! What's happening, partner! DARKNESS,
  EVERYONE, DARKNESS! HEY EVERYBODY, DARKNESS IS SPREADING!

Charlie Murphy: Because of my complexion, he use to call me Darkness.
  He calls me and brother Darkness. The Darkness Brothers. See, this
  is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then... we was the blackest
  niggas on the planet according to Rick James.

President Black Bush: Write this down. M.A.R.S. That's right! Mars,
  bitches!

[talking about invading Iraq]
President Black Bush: He tried to kill my father, man. I don't play
  that shit.
Black Vice President: Say word he tried to kill your father, man.
President Black Bush: THAT NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FATHA!

: Are you aware that Robert Blake has been accused of murdering his
  wife?
Dave Chappelle: Oh yeah. Baretta did that shit.

32749a33552,33566
[on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Carson reads Cliff's
  joke twice; each time, the NBC Studio audience boos]
Johnny Carson: Whose joke is this?
Clifford Clavin: It's *my* joke! You busted me!
[Cliff is led away by security guards]
Johnny Carson: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of NBC.

[after the taping of The Tonight Show, Cliff is on the empty(?)
  stage]
Cliff: [miming bowling] Heeere's Cliffy!
[Johnny Carson applauds and approaches Cliff]
Johnny Carson: How does it feel on stage?
Cliff: Good.
Johnny Carson: Now get the hell out of here before I call security.

35416a36234,36289
Macy: Nobody knows what kind of parent they'd make until it's too
  late to back out.

Macy: We should all sort out our personal demons before having
  children.

Det. Cruz: Should I take this to Macy?
Jordan: You can take this to the Pope for all I care.

Woody: Looks like man vs. city bus. You can guess the outcome.

Woody: Don't tell me that I missed something.
Bug: Okay, I won't. But you did.

Devan Maguire: You know, I've been trying to shake the whole
  cheerleader image for years. Is it really that bad?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Keep trying, luv.

Frances: Do you bake?
Lily: I'm better at burning.

Det. Cruz: This kid was built like a brick outhouse. I doubt that a
  few light punches could have taken him out.

Macy: Dead men do tell tales, I guess.

Woody: Carlsen's car is a '65 El Dorado.
Bug: Hard to miss, considering it's the size of the QE II.

Bug: Remember, heavy object, odd design.
Woody: Thanks. That really narrows things down.
Bug: [mutters] Just trying to help.

Dr. Nigel Townsend: How big would you like it?
[Maguire gives him a look]
Dr. Nigel Townsend: I meant the picture.

Frances: [to Woody] I just slipped you a couple of sleeping pills.
  Don't worry. They won't kill you. I'll have to do that.

Devan Maguire: Has anyone tried to lift a fingerprint from the bag
  found in the locker?
Det. Cruz: We never had a reason to.
Devan Maguire: Now you do.

Devan Maguire: You told me not to jump to conclusions, and what did I
  do?
Jordan: Good jumping, though, really.

Devan Maguire: So, you still think we would have hated each other in
  high school?
Jordan: Oh, yeah!
Devan Maguire: So, you, uh... want to get some dinner?
Jordan: No, not really.
Devan Maguire: Good, me either.

36744a37618,37622
# "Dallas" (1978)
J.R.: Barnes just broke the cardinal rule in politics: never get
  caught in bed with a dead woman or a live man.


36760a37639,37654
[standing below the wall of Greenback's castle]
Dangermouse: Um, hello? Excuse me? Can we have our ball back, please?
  I...
[a fizzing bomb is dropped into his hand]
Dangermouse: Oh, thanks very much!
Penfold: D.M.! Look out! It's a bomb!
Dangermouse: Hmm? Oh yes, I know it's a buh-buh-buh-buh,
  buh-buh-buh-buh, a b-, a b-, a bomb!
[BOOM!]

Baron Silas Greenback: Stiletto, get the Bad Luck Eye.
Stiletto: Si, Barone. At-a once!
[He roots around in Penfold's pocket with pliers, and pulls something
  out]
Stiletto: Ahh, succ-a-sess! I have-a the eye, Barone!

39108a40003,40006
[talking to two girls]
Mason: Do any of you girls work for UPS? Cause I couldn't help but
  notice you were checking out my package.

44686a45585,45588
Cornfed: You got a letter from the IRS.
Duckman: I'm outta here! Forward my magazines to that PO Box in Rio.
Cornfed: Duckman, you can't hide from the IRS. They're everywhere.

45842c46744
  butter and... evil peanut butter!
45848c46750
  you're doing down there... CUT IT OUT?
45860a46763,46770
Narrator: Later, our heroes skip through the woods, which you may
  have noticed since you can *actually see them!*

Peter Puppy: Once again, evil is as rotting meat before the maggots
  of justice!
Earthworm Jim: Thank you for cramming that delightful image into my
  brain, Peter.

46980c47890
Xindi-Humanoid: Let's not forget who the real enemy is.
48362a49273,49286
# "Extreme Machines" (1998)
Jeremy: There is only one thing between me and a ride in an F-15. Mr
  40 a day man has to have a medical!

[preparing for a ride in an F-15E Strike Eagle]
Jeremy: How fast does Jet Fuel burn?

[after being briefed on bail-out procedure]
Jeremy: If he uses any words starting with B, I'm off!

[Jeremy is putting on his cloves]
Jeremy: Bend over, cameraman!


49576a50501,50508
Peter Griffin: Nothing else has worked this far / So I wish upon a
  star / Wonderous shining speck of light / I need a Jew / Lois makes
  me take the rap / Cause our checkbook looks like crap / Since I
  can't give her a slap / I need a Jew / Where to find / A Baum or
  Steen or Stein / To teach me how to whine and do my taaaaaxesss...
  / Though by many they're abhored / Hebrew people I've adored / Even
  though they killed my Lord / I need a Jew

49863a50796,50798
Brian Griffin: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter Griffin: Eh, I drift in and out.

49985c50920
  a tire, a boot, a tin can and this book of clich»s.
50101c51036
Brian Griffin: And a "so-sage" McBiscuit, please?
51218a52154,52166
[Brian Singing to Stewie]
Brian Griffin: I'll bet money / You'll marry a honey / Who's pretty
  and funny / And her name will be Ted.

Tom Tucker: All right, question number one. Would you consider
  growing a moustache?
Intern Interviewee: I guess so.
Tom Tucker: Question number two. Look at my moustache. Do you think
  it tickles women when I kiss them?
Intern Interviewee: I don't know.
Tom Tucker: Wrong. The answer is "only slightly." Only slightly.
  Next!

51260c52208,52214
[someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]
Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow?
Carl: Yes I do. Hi mom!
Estelle Winslow: Carl, Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk
  in our driveway

Robbins: Hey everybody, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel! [Guests
51262c52216
Donna: And get this, Urkel's Tuxedo fits! [Guests Gasp]
51288c52242
Carl: 3,2,1... 1,2,3... What the heck is bothering me?
51318,51319c52272
  you're all witnesses. She actually said "Human Being". She's Mine!
51331c52284
Steve Urkel: No... state your name not name your state!
55913a56867,56879
Frasier: What say we go celebrate with a nice dinner at an exclusive
  boite?
Niles: Yes, but the question remains, what boite?
Frasier: Charise?
Niles: Too noisy.
Frasier: Alsace?
Niles: Too bright.
Frasier: Papillion?
Niles: Too crowded.
Frasier: We've run out of boites.
Niles: A city this size and only three boites.
Frasier: How do we live?

56146c57112,57117
# "Freaky Stories" (1997)
Narrator of any story: This is a true story, it happened to a friend
  of a friend of mine.


# "FreakyLinks" (2000)
56180,56184d57150
56708a57675,57681
Carlton: Will, just face it, the better man won
Will: Oh yeah, well the bigger badder man's about to beat the better
  man into oblivion

Will: Ding dong the cricket's dead, Ashley's grounded now you all go
  to bed.

57490c58463
  they<sum>re exctinct?
60003a60977,60979
[Ross is having problems naming all 50 states]
Ross: I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.

60965a61942,61946
[in the library, absorbing all of Earth's knowledge]
: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just
  made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has
  played right into my hands! Ha ha ha ha!

61001c61982
Captain Zapp Brannigan: As my prot»g» you should know that the only
61170c62151
  humanity...
61732c62713
Calculon: No, I don't like the font. Wait. "Harold Zoid". Was this
61887,61888c62868,62869
[the city is being attacked by Lucy Liu robots]
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Now there's a wave of destruction that's easy
61892c62873
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If only he had joined a mainstream
62047a63029,63157
Fry: Do you take Visa?
Clerk: Visa has not existed in 300 years.
Fry: American Express?
Clerk: 600 years.
Fry: Discover Card?
Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't carry Discover.

Walt: And to prove that we are a thousand years in the past, here is
  comtemporary actress Pamela Anderson.
Pamela Anderson: Hello, Fry. Remember me in Baywatch: the Movie?
Fry: Huh?
Pamela Anderson: It was the first movie shot entirely in slow motion.
Walt: It hasn't come out yet.
Pamela Anderson: Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?
Walt: Nope.
Pamela Anderson: Crap!

Phillip J. Fry: Alright, time to reeducate you duncebags. We'll start
  with U.S Presidents. This is our first president, George
  Washington.
[Pause. The others look confused]
Phillip J. Fry: Let's review. Who was our first president?
Bender: A pickle jar?
George Washington: Thomas Jefferson?

Leela: I... have to tell... must... important... something...
Phillip J. Fry: Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. You're going a mile a
  minute.

: What do you want?
Phillip J. Fry: I'm here to kick your ass!
: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for
  asses.

Captain Ahab: A gold dubloon for the first man who spots the white
  whale!
[The Giant Brain, painted white, rocks the boat]
Queequeg: Big whale over there!
Captain Ahab: Arr, I saw it first.

[Fry and Leela are trapped in 'Moby Dick']
Chief Giant Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense
  symbolist tome forever!

[On whitewashing Aunt Polly's fence in 'Tom Sawyer']
Chief Giant Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than
  previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your
  tomb for all eternity.
Tom Sawyer: Please no!

[Having been trapped in a parallel universe]
Giant Brain #1: Well, here we are. Trapped for eternity.
Giant Brain #2: We could sing 'American Pie'.
Phillip J. Fry: Go ahead. I deserve it.

Giant Super Brain: I have shocking data revelant to this
  conversation.
Giant Brain #1: We don't care, you big dope. We're in another
  universe. You're not in charge any more.

Nibbler: I didn't travel back in time! My people lack that ability.
Phillip J. Fry: But... I know you in the future! I clean your poop!
Nibbler: Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.

Phillip J. Fry: Hey. Did everything just taste purple for a second?

Leela: You know, Fry? I don't care if you're not the most important
  person in the universe. It really makes me happy to see you right
  now.
Phillip J. Fry: Then I am the most important person in the universe.

Phillip J. Fry: Wow! Nude hot-tubbing - that's all I need to hear
  about Freedom Day!
Dr. Zoidberg: Then consider the following lecture a bonus.

Zapp Brannigan: Happy Freedom Day, ladies! Come on, show me
  something. Anything. Seriously, I'd take an armpit.

President Nixon's Head: My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much
  freedom, it's almost sickening. We're free to chose which hand our
  sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay
  our taxes, why, we're free to spend a week with the Pain Monster.
Pain Monster: See you April 15th, folks!

[On the run from Earth authorities after eating the flag]
Dr. Zoidberg: My planet's embassy? Why, they'd pay to not kill me!

[Standing up to the Decapodian Mobile Oppression Palace]
Old Man Waterfall: Do your worst, ya sea devils! I'll make ma stand
  with Old Freebie! You can crush me, but you can't crush my spirit!
[He is crushed]
Old Man Waterfall: Ahhhggghhh! My spirit!

Dr. Zoidberg: Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is
  smutzing up our freedom lesson?
Decapodian Ambassador: Ah, take a pill, Zoidberg!

Leela: Dr. Zodberg - how can you claim to love freedom and then
  enslave humanity?
Dr. Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it
  learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!

Chester A. Arthur's head: [after being knocked over by Fry] Chessy A.
  Arthur fall down!

Bender: Come on, universe, you big, mostly empty wuss! Give me all
  the juice you got!

[On a Beastie Boys concert]
Leela: [looking at a hand-held device] Amazing. They are laying down
  mad beats at 80% accuracy.
Bender: I think that qualifies as ill, at least from a technical
  standpoint.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: You win again, gravity!

Amy Wong: You're going to Nigel 7? Kiff's on patrol near there, you
  could drop me off on the way!
Professor Farnsworth: We could but we won't. It's a spaceship damn-it
  not a prom limousine! [angry rant]. If anyone needs me I'll be in
  the Angry Dome.

Calculon: I was all of history's great acting robots: Acting Unit
  0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!

[the girls are at a single's bar]
Amy: Um, Leela, Armondo and I are going to the back seat of his car
  for coffee.

67672a68783,68791
[talking to Mike]
Luke Brower: Not only do you get a sudden craving for pineapple ice
  cream, but you have to bring someone to watch you eat it?

[Mike pretended to brake his ankle so he didn't have to clean the
  gutters with his dad and go site seeing instead. Jason leaves the
  room and comes back later and finds Mike there alone and says... ]
Jason Seaver: Kate didn't want to go sight seeing, huh?

67860a68980,68994
Harry Orwell: There'll be others.
Judy: No, there won't be others.
Harry Orwell: Oh, that's right, you fixed it.
Judy: Yes, I did.
Harry Orwell: You fixed it by framing Lester.
Judy: What?
Harry Orwell: By framing Lester, it was HIS car that ran over Lynne
  Northrup! The pictures were in HIS files! You really fixed him,
  didn't you?
Judy: That's a terrible thing to say, I didn't!
Harry Orwell: If you can't have him, nobody can have him?
Judy: He's MY HUSBAND!
Harry Orwell: That's a fantasy! The loss of virginity is NOT a
  marriage!

67942,67946d69075
69121a70251,70258
[Furillo's first lines in the series]
Furillo: Look at this! You got the address wrong on the warrant.
[overlapping]
Esterhaus: Captain, we never shoulda stopped doing these in pencil.
Furillo: ...so when the man *understandably* objects to being
  arrested, Earps here hits him with a board!
Earps: We had to, boss. We couldn't get his attention.

71121c72258
Brad: Chicken Cordon Bl»u with endive watercrest salad.
71257a72395,72401
[Tim and Al are substituting on a cooking show, and Al is showing how
  to prepare Gumbo]
Tim: If you threw Al's mom in there, you'd have Jumbo Gumbo.
[Pause; no one laughs]
Tim: Of course you'd have to know Al's mom to get that joke. She's a
  very large, angry woman.

72048a73193,73202
Ed Norton: [to Ralph] Look, just don't get upset. You're gettin' all
  upset now. Let's calm down and look nice when we get down there.
  There's no sense in getting upset. Now listen, the boys in the
  sewer, there, when we get upset we got a little motto... a little
  saying that gives us comfort in time of need. Maybe I can pass it
  on to you. May I favor you with this little ode? "When the tides of
  life turn against you, and the current upsets your boat. Don't
  waste those tears on what might have been, just lay on your back
  and float."

74310c75464
Yura: Stop that! I'll kill you!
74372,74374c75526,75529
Kagome: Now what do you want?
Inuyasha: Get undressed.
[Kagome hits him with a rock]
Inuyasha: OW! That hurt! Why did you...
74410a75566,75574
Shippo: [to Kagome about 500 feet behind InuYasha] I can see why
  being called a mutt by Koga would upset him... but now that I see
  him sitting there sniffing the ground he does look like a dog
InuYasha: What did you say Shippo...
Shippo: Talk about bloodhound how did he hear me all the way back
  here
InuYasha: Remember Shippo dogs are carnivores you little runt
Shippo: SCREAMS and runs away in fear of InuYasha

75837c77001
  bar code on a packet of laxatives... and it recorded Baywatch.
76299c77463
[on superendowed 'Jonah Falcon' (qv)]
76392a77557,77560
Judge Judy: Who are you?
Witness: I'm here for pain and suffering.
Judge Judy: Yours or mine?

76537a77706
[Nina is covered in gold body paint]
76555c77724
[all reading from newspaper]
76558c77727
Maya: [grabs paper] Wha-wha-what? Because of his public address style
76561c77730
Nina: [grabs paper] Wha-wha-what? Kensington's wife, a world-class
76567c77736
Maya: I bet on "Rage to Riches". What did he place?
76569c77738
Maya: All right! Yes!
76571c77740
Maya: Yes.
76573c77742
Maya: Augh! I bet $50!
76575c77744
Maya: Oh, I was only going to bet five but then the bookie said "five
76580c77749
Maya: What? That can't be. Five dimes! Dimes are ten. Five times ten
76583c77752,77759
Maya: Ooooh! Rags to Riches, you filthy, hairy bitch!

Dennis: Ooh, a sex dream. How was I?
Maya: Absent.

Donnie: Donnie wants a kiss.
Maya: Oh sure. [kisses Donnie on the cheek]
Donnie: No, Donnie wants a kiss like on Showtime.
77356c78532
Dr. Drakken: Doctor?... Doctor D - Dr. Dra - DR. DRAKKEN!
77550c78726
  club lair, conveniently located in Europe. Drive a little, party a
77552a78729,78734
Junior: I'm sorry, but this is a rather exclusive club, and you're
  not on the guest list.
  Senor Senior Sr. Ah, the clever threat. Now, follow it up with a
  violent show of anger.
Junior: But I'm mildly put off at best.

78845a80028,80031
# "Langt fra Las Vegas" (2001)
Robert Lange DØlhus: I like tits.


79740c80926
Claire Rinato: I really didn't mean to overdo it. Really.
79801,79806d80986
79986c81166
  the same zing.
80026c81206
Fin Tutuola: You're a kid: what does that look like to you?
80028c81208
Fin Tutuola: You're pathetic; that's the coolest fort ever.
80402c81582
John Munch: What's your real name?
80404c81584
John Munch: Ah, the "nom d'amour".
80406c81586
John Munch: You're really in porn?
85973c87153
  - - Raymond Burr.
87753,87756c88933,88936
  exclusive men's club. And with the membership comes - hold on to
  your green card - luxury boxes at Wrestlemania, free use of a
  classic Dodge - when it's working, and a key to the Big 'Uns
  reading room in my garage - when we get the bowl unclogged.
88010c89190
Al: You are the biggest - By the way, do you have cable?
88291a89472,89524
Al: Ah, children! What the hell, wolfen. Let me tell you something
  about sharing: don't do it. Nothing good ever comes of sharing.
  Your mother and I shared a bed and nothing good came out of it.
Peg: Maybe that's because nothing good ever went into it.

Al: Jefferson, tell them what they can get for $800.
Jefferson: Well, for $800 you can get a nice car.
Kelly: Really, Mr. D'Arcy? You know where we can get a car for $800?
Marcy: At the auto auction where they sell cars they've confiscated
  from criminals and drug dealers. Of course, the cars have some
  minor problems like bullet holes in the trunk; but you don't seem
  to mind riding in the Dodge.
Al: There's no bullet holes in my car, but that could change if I
  could persuade you to get into the trunk.

[Al and the kids have returned from the auto auction]
Peg: Did you buy the kids a car, Al?
Kelly: (off screen) DON'T TOUCH MY CAR! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR HANDS
  HAVE BEEN!
Bud: (off screen)IN THAT CASE YOU SHOULDN'T BE SITTING IN IT!
Al: Yes, I did. And, as you can see, all of my worries about them
  fighting were unfounded. (Looks out the window where Kelly has Bud
  in a headlock beating him on the head)On the upside, however, I did
  get them to knock off $100. Why pay for seat belts if you don't
  have brakes?

[Al is getting readly to fix the roof]
Al: OK, whose going up with me besides Bud?
Bud: Dad, anyone who would go up on that roof with you during a
  lighting storm would have to be a complete idiot.
Kelly: Oh, No! I'm not going up there either.

Al: Now, pumpkin; before you drive your car, you need to be covered.
Kelly: Isn't that up to the guy, Dad?
Al: I'm talking about car insurance, you little...

Peggy: Kelly, its time we had a little talk. There is a thing men
  will want you to do when you get married; it's called work.
Kelly: I'm scared; hold me, Mom.
Peggy: Once you do it though, you'll never have to do it again and
  there will come a time when your husband comes home smellin' like
  beer and wantin' some lovin'; you'll follow that fat butt up the
  stairs because you'll know that no matter how disgusting the next
  five minutes may be, it's still better than work.
Kelly: Thanks, Mom; you're so wise.
Peggy: Well, you can't sit on a couch twenty hours a day and not
  learn something.

Marcy: Does anyone have any gestures they'd like to have known?
  Anything at all?
[Al gives Marcy the finger]
Marcy: I don't think that particular gesture is necessary. Al.

88535c89768
Mary Richards: I'm an experienced woman. I've been around... Well,
88554c89787
[On the air]
88615c89848
[Mary and Lou are discussing why he's stopped seeing Charlene]
88620a89854,89861
[there is a party at Mary's. Mary has suggested playing a game where
  one person says a word and the next person thinks of a word that
  begins with the last letter of the word they heard]
Lou Grant: Does this game go on forever or does it have an end?
Mary Richards: It ends when a person can't think of a word.
Lou Grant: Oh, I'll start. (Lou turns to Ted Baxter.) Box! (Ted
  cannot think of a word and says nothing.) Game's over.

90562,90565c91803,91807
  tenderness He might destroy me!
[Kook accidentally knocks Weirdo's arm]
Professor Weirdo: OOPS! Too much!
[with stethoscope]
Professor Weirdo: Better hold your breath; it's starting to tick!
90567a91810
Milton The Monster: Hello, Daddy!
90680a91924,91930
Lady Elaine Fairchilde: To the Museum Go-Round, the purple way! [they
  disappear]

[repeated line and usually song]
Cornflake S. Pecially: I'm a man who manufactures. I'm a man who
  manufactures chairs and other wares.

91206c92456
Heavyset Cop: Where's your bathroom?
91209,91210c92459,92460
: Gail kills a guy in the next scene.
: I hope it's the guy who designed these seats.
91219c92469,92470
[Nestor and Jose Alvarez are delivering newspapers. Nestor is killed]
: Nestor! Why? For a newspaper?
91221,91222c92472,92473
: [after accidentally wiping his hands with a cloth covered in oil]
  Sharona, I really need a wipe. Hurry! Oh, the humanity!
91253a92505,92511
[Monk is investigating a prison]
Adrian Monk: I'm out of here. This place is like a prison.
Sharona Fleming: It IS a prison.

Dale the Whale: I wouldn't bend down to pick up $1200. Even if I
  could.

92930a94189,94197
College Kid: You guys are not going to believe this tape I just got!
  It's a guy, who falls out of an airplane, and lands on two
  elephants WHO ARE FUCKING!

Sam Kraft: So the show never got aired because we were just living in
  a different time, you know. People were thinking differently.
Criminy Kraft: Yeah, man, it was like just biting into an orange was
  like going through a citrus mountain.

93454a94722,94728
[Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, from the movie Star Wars, are making a
  guest appearance on the show "Pigs in Space"]
Luke Skywalker: [pointing at Miss Piggy, who's dressed like Princess
  Leia] Look, it's the Princess!
C-3PO: She doesn't look anything like the Princess!
Miss Piggy: [sternly, to C-3PO] Watch it, hardware!

95855a97130,97132
TV's Frank: That's right, we've broken through the space-time
  continuum and passed the savings on to you.

95897a97175,97184
Jeff Jarrett: I learned a hard lesson. In order to be a success in
  this business, you have to be a selfish son of a bitch. Hulk Hogan,
  Macho Man, Dusty Rhodes, they're all selfish. So when I heard Hulh
  Hogan was planning to come to TNA, I decided to bring TNA straight
  to him. No-one is gonna take my glory! No one is gonna take my
  title!

The Fallen Angel: My name is Christopher Daniels... and I am here to
  save your souls.

96280a97568,97570
Mr. Sheffield: Can you keep a secret?
Niles: Well, I'm good until I meet the next person.

96360a97651,97657
Abby: I dunno. Guys have all kinds of strange rituals before they go
  out. This one guy, he does a full upper body workout just seconds
  before his date so he can be all pumped.
[pause]
Gibbs: Does Tony know that you know?
Abby: Does Tony know that YOU know?

96531a97829,97844
Abby: Latex is, um, very popular in, uh, certain... circles.
Gibbs: Yeah? What kind of circles?
Abby: Gibbs, I dunno if you're ready for this. It might upset your
  delicate sensibilities.
Gibbs: Oh, I'll stop you.
Abby: Okay... maybe he was wearing a latex hood, like bondage gear,
  S&M fetish. I dated this guy once who just wanted me to bounce up
  and down on a balloon - ...
Gibbs: Okay, you can stop.
Abby: Gibbs, that is no weirder than a three hundred and fifty pound
  guy with half his body painted yellow and the other painted green,
  wearing nothing but shorts in ten degree weather and a big plastic
  piece of cheese on his head saying "Go Packers!"
Gibbs: Abs, it's apples and oranges.
Abby: There's a fetish for that, too.

96641a97955,98051
Tony: Yeah. Wonder what they were looking for.
Kate: Wonder if they found it.
Gibbs: I wonder when you two guys are gonna stop yakking and get to
  work.

Tony: This guy was way into reality shows. Real World. Simple Life,
  Punk'd...
Gibbs: Punk'd?
Kate: Geez, Gibbs, even I know what Punk'd is.
Tony: Punk'd is an MTV show where they play tricks on celebrities
  while secretly filming it.
Gibbs: Like Candid Camera?
Tony: What's Candid Camera?

Gibbs: Ducky. Got some good news for me?
Ducky: That depends on your definition of good news.
Gibbs: Not the answer I was looking for.

Abby: It's gray latex.
Gibbs: Rubber?
Abby: One and the same.
Gibbs: Probably couldn't be used as a hat.
Abby: Yeah, well, not if you grew up in Dorkville.
Gibbs: Grew up just west of there.

Tony: Stories are pretty consistent.
Gibbs: A little too consistent.
Tony: You think they're lying?
Gibbs: I think they're well-rehearsed.

Abby: This program rocks. It includes vall, fall, yacht, tip over,
  rollover, combined speed, linear momentum...
Gibbs: Abby.
Abby: Oh, c'mon, Gibbs. You know you love it when I talk tech.

[Ducky always goes off on a tangent]
Abby: I had this boyfriend once - not the balloon guy - but this one
  was like a computer genius. He put together a database of
  databases. I mean, it seems obvious in retrospect, like the pet
  rock ...
Gibbs: Abby?
Abby: Yes?
Gibbs: You're spending too much time talking to Ducky.

Abby: The car that hit Gordon was definitely a Taurus.
Gibbs: You're positive?
Abby: Absolutely... unless it was a Mercury Sable.

Gibbs: We gonna jump through any legal hoops?
Abby: Oh, that's kind of a gray area.
Gibbs: How gray?
Abby: Charcoal.

Tony: What're we looking for?
Gibbs: Answers.
[Gibbs walks away]
Tony: You got plans tonight?
Kate: Not really.
Tony: Good. 'Cause the last time Gibbs was like this, I didn't go
  home for a week.
Kate: The sad part? That would actually be an improvement over my
  social life.

Kate: Never put anything on videotape that you don't want to be seen.
Tony: Just ask Paris Hilton.

Kate: You think he told him a fast one?
Tony: I doubt it.
Kate: Why?
Tony: Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with
  it?

Tony: Forty mile zone ended two miles back, boss. Limit here's
  sixty-five. I only mention it 'cause you usually drive faster than
  Dale Earnhardt, Jr... Boss?
Gibbs: What?
Tony: You wanna stop for a burger?

[Gibbs has three ex-wives]
Gibbs: Hey, Dinozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment. 'Cept for
  that minty fresh urine smell.
Tony: For your information, I have a maid now.
Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
Tony: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three
  alimonies.

Gibbs: What'd you find in his nose?
Ducky: Cellulosic fiber, lignin.
Gibbs: Wood.
Ducky: Ah, sawdust, to be precise.
Tony: Hey boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women
  and sawdust? I mean... I... don't... think it's weird.

Tony: Where the hell are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your
  arrest!
Gibbs: Well, it's a good thing I'm not there, then.

97906c99316
  means pretty but short and/or hyperactive - like me.
98228a99639,99641
Jimmy James: If I believed in fairy tales I never would have dropped
  out of kindergarten.

98429a99843,99845
Christian: The line that divides the porn industry and the plastic
  surgery is a thin one. We're both selling fantasy, aren't we?

99044a100461,100464
Jeane Wolf: The thing about Jerry Lewis is he has a very abrasive,
  in-your-face personality.
Bill O'Reilly: [grins] Yeah, I hate people like that.

100905c102325
  it..."Believing you will do well is half the battle". Oh c'mon
100985c102405
[Later]
101127,101128c102547,102548
Brooke Davis: Peyton don't listen to her! It might be a trick!
  [Peyton pops the trunk anyway]
101139a102560,102570
Nathan: Lets just get this over with.
Peyton: Funny, that's what he used to say before we had sex.

Brooke: Real thing beat the internet don't they?
Mouth: Internet sucks!

Brooke: Guess who's in the lobby, I'll tell you. Claire Young and her
  little hoe posy. We are going down there.
Peyton: Okay. And if an angry dance-off breaks out I got your back.
Brooke: Great. Just don't stick another knife in it.

103460c104891
[Larry has rented Balki a tuxedo]
103470c104901
Balki Bartokomous: Are you asking did - did I see *steam* rising from
103479,103480c104910,104911
Balki Bartokomous: [pause] Yes. Now, I have one for you - Was it
  me... or was that Miss Lydia's beauty mark sliding down her cheek?
103493a104925
[Larry is hanging from a hook on the wall]
103503c104935
  sense, you may call the wind Mariah...
103516c104948
[Larry pauses for a second]
103518a104951,104953
Balki Bartokomous: You said that you would not go overboard, and now
  look at you. You're scraping barnacles off the Titanic.

104716c106151
Fletch: Sounds as if your fianc»e Denise and my Ingrid have got quite
104787a106223,106298
Warren: Fletch...
Fletch: I'm thinking, naff off!
Warren: Thinking?
Fletch: Yes. I know that to some of you nurks in here, it's an alien
  pastime, but those of us endowed with a bit of grey matter where it
  matters, namely up here, preserve our identity and our sanity in
  this nick by thinking!
Warren: But what are you thinking?
Fletch: At the moment, I'm thinking why doesn't this bloke Warren
  naff off and leave me alone!

Fletch: Didn't one governor let you grow grapes?
Blanco: Aye, that's right - they were over there. I'd read all about
  them and I knew I could grow grapes. Bloomin' marvel, they were.
  Course they made me pack it in.
Fletch: How come?
Blanco: Grapes make wine, don't they?
Fletch: Oh, really? I always used potato peelings and anti-freeze
  myself!
Blanco: We managed to put down a dozen bottles before they tumbled
  us.
Fletch: Good drop was it?
Blanco: Well, in the wine stakes, I don't suppose it were a classic,
  but to a man who hadn't had a drink in eleven years, Chateau Slade
  was the finest drop in the land . . .

Mackay: What have you got there, Fletcher?
Fletch: [sotto voce] Crown jewels [out loud] chicken feed!
Mackay: Empty it.
Fletch: It'll make a terrible mess, Mr Mackay!
Mackay: Empty it!
[Fletch empties the bag, which contains nothing but chicken feed]
Mackay: All right Fletcher, just don't let me catch you thieving!
Fletch: I won't, Mr Mackay.
Mackay: You won't what?
Fletch: I won't let you catch me, Mr Mackay!

Godber: I'm only in here due to tragic circumstances.
Fletch: Which were?
Godber: I got caught.

Barrowclough: I'm Scots on my mother's side, well, a bit of
  everything really. Scots, Irish, Polish . . .
Fletch: Got about a bit, your mother.

Fletch: When Harry Grout asks a favour of you, it is on the express
  understanding that favour gets done. Otherwise he takes it as a
  personal insult, and send round a henchman to mete out dire
  retribution. From Crusher With Love!

[Fletch, Godber, Warren and Lukewarm are campaigning to get Blanco
  pardoned]
Mackay: Typical of Fletcher's devious mentality to turn the man into
  some sort of martyr.
Governor Venables: Yes - the last thing a prison needs, Mr Mackay, is
  a martyr.

[Fletch is about to hit Jarvis with the television]
Mackay: What are you doing, Fletcher?
Fletch: Just adjusting the television, Mr Mackay!
Mackay: With the set above your head?
Fletch: Yes, it's the vertical hold!
Warren: Look! We've got a picture!

[Fletcher is on the farm, feeding the pigs]
Fletch: You eat like pigs an' all!

[Fletcher and Warren are trying to convince Godber it's all right to
  cheat]
Warren: You know when you're playing draughts with Fletch, and he
  says he's dropped one and can you please look for it, and you do,
  and when you get up again you see the board's been re-arranged?
  That's all cheating is.
Fletch: Yeah - that's all it is.
Warren: Oh, so you admit to it!

105028,105030c106539,106553
Cole: Wow. So that was Tommy? He really is the greatest Ranger.
[The others scoff and laugh]
Cole: What did I say?
T.J.: Well, I wouldn't go that far. After all, I was the one who
  replaced him.
Jason: Are you kidding me? I was doing all the work while he was at
  the juice bar kissing on Kimberly.
Carter: Alright, well, at least his haircut's regulation now. Right?
Eric: My Q-Rex would eat this Dragonzord for lunch.
Leo: He didn't discover lost galaxies!
Wes: Hey, wait, wait, wait wait. I changed history. So why does he
  have a fan club, and I don't?
Andros: Hey! I saved two worlds! What about that?
T.J.: Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait! Did I ever you guys about the time
  I got baked in that giant pizza?
105037c106560
Skull: Yeah? So did I.
105093c106616
General Venjix: What? TEN Red Rangers?
108599a110123,110127
# "Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes, The" (2003)
: I'm like herpes, dude. You might lose track of me, but I'm always
  there.


110993,110997c112521,112525
  continuous broadcast. Hilary is dozing off]
Jeff Singer: Hilary, you have to get up.
Hilary Booth: Oh, no. I was having the loveliest dream.
Jeff Singer: Oh, what were you dreaming?
Hilary Booth: That I was asleep.
111007c112535
  dancing]
111015,111020c112543,112545
Scott Sherwood: If I'm gonna win this thing for all the Betty Roberts
  in this country, maybe that means I have to do without the one I
  care about for a while. Maybe that's how this whole thing works.
111380c112905
Gus Pike: I almost would rather not be in love if it means I have to
111396,111398d112920
111404a112927,112929
Felix King: [whispering] Shh! From this point on, you can't make any
  noise. The fish here have ears. They're very smart.

111454a112980,113660
# "Rock Me Baby" (2003)
Jimmy: It's been ten weeks since Otis was born and you combine that
  with the last nine weeks of pregnancy and we haven't done it in
  almost five months. I miss it in there.
Beth: I know, it's just... Well, last time it was in there for nine
  months and it kinda trashed the place.
Jimmy: Okay, fair enough. Any other vacancies in the building?

[Jimmy wants to have sex]
Jimmy: I'll take care of him until midnight, even though I get up at
  four, if you just take one for the team.
Beth: Take one for the team?
Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, you know, like when a baseball player gets hit by
  a pitch on purpose. It doesn't feel good but you do it for the
  team.

Jimmy: Thanks a lot, Otis. You know, when you're 18 and about to get
  some, I'm gonna pee on you.

Boyle: You know what it means when a morning D.J. yawns on the air?
Jimmy: Yeah, he's tired.
Boyle: No, he's dead. The only thing that makes people change their
  stations faster is four in a row by Kenny G.

Boyle: I told you, there's no room for kids in morning radio. They
  make you lose your edge. That's why I never had kids.
Jimmy: Really? I thought it was because no one would do you... I'm
  sorry... I mean for free.

Kate: They're dying to see you and your new boobs.
Beth: They are pretty awesome, aren't they?
Kate: Yeah. I hate babies but I'm thinkin' about gettin' knocked up
  just to get a pair.

Jimmy: Before your wife has the baby she is a sex machine. Okay,
  after the baby is born, the ol' sex machine shuts down for a while
  and, uh... Well, you gotta use the hand crank.

Beth: Okay, so I left CPR instructions on the counter right next to
  the number for poison control.
Jimmy: Poison control? You think I'm gonna poison him?
Beth: No! But if you do, the number's on the counter.

Jimmy: You're putting beer in Otis's bottles.
Carl: Hey, you're the one who named him after the town drunk from
  Mayberry.

Jimmy: Dude, you just drank breast milk. That's Beth.
Kevin: Got Beth?

Jimmy: Dude, being a dad changes you. I mean, every time I look down
  at this little guy I realize that he needs me to take care of him.
  I've never loved anything so much.
Carl: Wow, sounds like being a dad changes you - into a woman.

Carl: Man, I hate it when strippers talk about their kids.

Jimmy: You're better at diapers than me. You get to all the nooks and
  crannies. The kid's like an English muffin down there.

Beth: You've seen how tired I am. Sometimes I fall asleep in the
  middle of a chore.
Jimmy: Oh, so sex is a chore now?
Beth: Well you did put it on my to-do list.
Jimmy: Yeah, and I'm still waitin' for you to do me.

Jimmy: I think we should consider traditional gender roles. You
  gather the laundry, dishes and diapers and I will hunt for bison...
  and porn on the internet.

Beth: We need parent friends. If we had friends with babies, we'd
  know how they do it.
Jimmy: Honey, I know how they do it. Same as we did - busted condom.

Carl: Hey, I found this new sports bar where we can watch the game.
  It's kinda like Hooters only it's for butts. It's called Assies.

Pam: Can you see my nipples in this picture?
Beth: Nope. No nippage.
Pam: Damn! I gotta get these reshot. It's for the cover of my demo CD
  and the title is "Caught in the Headlights!"

Pam: I often forget guys that annoy me. I call it Pamnesia.

Pam: Babies, football and Carl. Who knew they served quiche in Hell?

Beth: This is just my "I had no idea you were gay" look.

Beth: I'm sorry, you just didn't seem... the type.
Steve: Why, because I don't have six-pack abs? You know, pudgy guys
  like having sex with men too.

Kelly: Were you guys gonna watch the game?
Jimmy: Yeah, but we can go in the kitchen and eat quiche if you'd
  like.
Kelly: Listen, I'm gay but I'm not that gay.

Kelly: Hey, what a great Sunday! I get to watch the game while your
  wife entertains the old balls-and-chain... You heard me!

Kelly: I love Assies! You do know that it's a gay sports bar, right?
Jimmy: No, really? So the waitresses are...
Kelly: Waiters.
Jimmy: And the assies are...
Kelly: To die for!

Jimmy: You're still my partner and my best buddy and I - and I'm
  watching the Broncos with you.
Carl: What about your new gay friend?
Jimmy: I'll blow him off. God, I hope this mic isn't on.

Jimmy: All gay guys are cool.
Carl: Hey, I thought all black guys were cool.
Jimmy: No, not since the eighties. Urkel screwed that up for you.

Jimmy: All I'm a dad. I can't be doing drugs anymore.
Carl: Apparently you don't watch The Osbournes.

Pam: It's me, Pam. Open the door, it's an emergency!
Beth: What's a matter?
Pam: I'm hungry!

Pam: I was meetin a blind date for dinner tonight but there was a
  problem.
Beth: What was the problem?
Pam: He was ugly. And I'm not blind!

Jimmy: Smell my breath. Does it smell like pot?
Carl: No. Smells like feet and ass.
Kevin: Here, I've got some minty breath spray. My breath smells like
  ass too, but not the good kind.

Jimmy: It's time we start acting like grownups... but I'm still
  watching Spongebob.

[Jimmy smokes pot but doesn't tell Beth]
Carl: As Johnny Cochrane would say, "If you take a hit, you must
  omit."

Carl: Jimmy was just telling me he's gonna get some life insurance.
  Kind of a Ward Cleaver thing to do, isn't it, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Well, Carl, it is my job to protect the Beaver.

[Jimmy takes out a million dollar insurance policy on himself]
Jimmy: Yeah, I want Beth to be taken care of but, you know, I don't
  wanna give her too much incentive to have me whacked.
Carl: Man, for a million dollars, I'd whack ya.
Jimmy: Okay, when you say "whack", you mean "kill", right?
Carl: Either way.

Beth: Did you sleep with any hookers or kill anyone?
Jimmy: Oh, you got me. I slept with a hooker and then I killed her.
  And just for fun, I kicked a puppy.

Pam: Guys are always askin, "How many guys have you been with before
  me? Be honest." And then you tell em 28 and suddenly they start
  lookin at you different.
Beth: 28?
Pam: Imagine if I'd told the truth!

Pam: Why do women start saying things like "diapee" and "poopie"
  after they have a kid?
Beth: Sounds better than "feces" and "pee-catcher".

Beth: I'm a terrible mother!
Pam: See, that's why I take the pill twice a day. I'm goin to take a
  bonus one right now.

Beth: I'm not angry.
Jimmy: Damn! I was hopin' for make-up-sex.

Jimmy: If I have to clip one more coupon I'm gonna slit my wrists.
  Oh, that reminds me, I have a coupon for Band-Aids.

Bill: Man, you look as white as the cast of Friends.

Beth: You'll find another job.
Jimmy: Beth, once you've blown chunks in a chopper, there's not a lot
  of places to go.

Pam: Beth, you're the boss and as the boss, it's your job to make him
  think that he's the boss.
Beth: What the hell are you talking about?
Pam: I don't know. I saw it on "Who's the Boss?".

Beth: So you're sure you're okay with me sticking my nose in your
  business?
Jimmy: Oh, yeah! Yeah, I love that... Oh, you mean *business*
  business.

Jimmy: There probably are a lot of jobs that are tougher than being a
  mom. What about those guys that have to clean out the port-o-johns
  from outdoor rock concerts?
Carl: I've been in those things. I don't think that job exists.

Beth: We could have a dinner party. Like, with real grownup
  conversation and we could finally use our crystal and china and
  linen napkins. And we'll make a gourmet meal...
Jimmy: And Jello shots.
Beth: Yes!

Carl: You took your baby to a cop movie? That's like taking your
  mother to a porno.

Kevin: Can I bring a date?
Jimmy: Uh, well, you may bring a date, but the question is can you?
  Not your mother.

Beth: It's just like Thanksgiving.
Jimmy: Yeah well, it would be if my grandpa were here, all drunk,
  talking about "those dang homosectionals".

Beth: Otis has a runny nose.
Jimmy: Is it green or clear? Oh God! You know, I can't believe how
  much we talk about this boy's bodily fluids. It's like he's a tiny
  Bill Clinton.

Jimmy: Just because Otis has a little sniffle, we can't let it ruin
  our evening. That's what we have Kevin for.

Pam: Boy, look at these misfits. This place looks like a 7-11 after
  midnight.

Carl: You over here talkin' about me? Cause my ears are burnin.
Pam: Must be the Aqua Velva.

Mandy: I'm a dancer.
Beth: Oooh, what kind of dance?
Mandy: Well, I have a degree from the University of Arizona in modern
  dance and jazz, but now mostly I do lap.

Pam: I don't date guys like him unless they're rich and in very poor
  health.

Carl: I wouldn't be so quick to dis me if I were you, Pam.
Pam: You know what, Carl? You're right. I'll dis you more slowly.
  Goooooo awaayyyy!

Carl: I could use a little eye candy in my picture.
Pam: Well, I'm sorry, Carl, but you're gonna have to find some other
  eye candy... 'cause ya ain't gonna lick me.

[Otis has pinkeye]
Jimmy: Poor guy, he could use a makeover. Little Queer Eye for the
  Pinkeye.

[Otis gives Carl pinkeye]
Carl: I wake up this morning with my eye glued to my pillow because
  you and Beth chose not to inform us that Otis was the host-monkey.

Pam: When you have a dinner party, I'm there... even though I know
  Carl's gonna be staring like it's his birthday and my ass is the
  cake.

Beth: We have no friends.
Jimmy: Yeah but, baby, you gotta look at the big picture. We also
  have no life.

Beth: I mean, I know he's just a baby but do you think maybe
  sometimes he cries just to piss us off?
Jimmy: Of course. Do you think it's an accident that he cries every
  time we try to have sex?

Carl: That's just great. Great. Seven hour car ride with a baby. Pop
  in a John Tesh CD and I'm in Hell.

Jimmy: Look, honey, when his show first came to Denver, instead of
  calling me "Jimmy Cox", he called me "Jimmy No Cox". Alright, I've
  been trying to come up with a nickname for him for years.
Beth: How 'bout Danny Bonadouchebag?

Carl: To me, kids are like musicals.
Jimmy: Oh yeah? How's that?
Carl: I don't like 'em.

Jimmy: I'm pathetic? You own a blowup doll.
Carl: Hey, I told you it's not a blowup doll. It's an action figure.
Jimmy: So, you seen any action lately?

Jimmy: Yeah, well having a wife and child is the most rewarding thing
  a man can do with his life.
Carl: You know she's not here, right?
Jimmy: Yeah, but you never know when they're gonna sneak up behind
  ya.

Man on TV: Miss Wilson, come in here and take some... dictation.
Beth: Wow! Naked people and clever wordplay. It's like the Frasier of
  porn.

Jimmy: Listen, I'd love to stay here and chat but I know you've got
  that multi-colored schoolbus to catch, so...
Danny Bonaduce: Oh, a Partridge Family joke. How fresh!

Jimmy: I want you to go and I will watch little Otie woatie toadie
  bodie.
Jimmy: Well it's official. You got no nads!

Kia: Oh, and you don't have to worry because I'm a nurse in a
  pediatric unit.
Jimmy: Oh, well then you two have a lot in common because a lot of
  women have told Carl he has a pediatric unit.

Beth: Is this the most retarded argument we've ever had?
Jimmy: No, that would be the time that we argued about whether or not
  Batman and Robin are gay.
Beth: They totally are!
Jimmy: You know what? I don't even wanna go there again.

Beth: ...we didn't have sex on our anniversary.
Pam: Really? Well, even I had sex on your anniversary.

Pam: Besides, there is nothing sexier than stripping in front of a
  bunch of strangers. Or people you know. Ah, hell, I guess the key
  here is just getting naked.

Kevin: You're, like, this great wife and mom and you're the hottest
  woman I've ever talked to without being slapped or entering a
  credit card number.

Pam: Well, hello, my name's Pam. But my stripper name is Pam...
  demonium. And I'm here because I got the package - I just wanna
  learn how to deliver it.

Kevin: My name's Kevin. My stripper name is Krispy Kreme. They call
  me that cause I'm round and sweet and empty inside.

Beth: What happened to your finger?
Jimmy: Ah, I hurt it playin' with Carl.
Beth: Did he pull too hard?

Jimmy: Well, uh, I don't like to brag but I was voted Best Dancer in
  high school. It was prob'ly cause I had a seizure at the prom.
  Yeah, turns out I'm allergic to shrimp.

Pam: Oooohh, that woman is hot! You know, I don't swing that way, but
  if I did... Mmmmmm, Jessica Alba!

Pam: Okay, so you sent him to interview Jessica Alba with explicit
  instructions not to mention his wife? Good move, Beth.

Beth: I am not jealous.
Jimmy: Yes, you are. Cause that's the same look I get when I watch
  you eating a popsicle.

[After sex]
Jimmy: I think we finally settled that debate over who your daddy is
  once and for all.

Jimmy: I mean, what, you don't get bed head like this from just
  sleepin' on it, right?

Jimmy: Don't you ever fantasize about someone else when you're makin
  love to me?
Beth: *No*!
Jimmy: I see. Clearly I did not know that or I would not have asked
  the question.

Pam: I don't like comin' over here when you and Jimmy are fighting.
  The tension's bad for my digestion. I'll have to start eating my
  meals at home. I'll still be getting 'em here, I'll just be taking
  them home.

Beth: Oh come on, Otis, it's strained peas and squash. How can you
  not like this?
Pam: Four words: "strained peas and squash".

Jimmy: Yeah, the wife meeting the old girlfriend, isn't that in The
  Bad Idea Hall of Fame?
Carl: It's right up there next to mesh condoms.

Beth: How could you dump her? She's perfect!
Jimmy: Hey, you're the one that wanted to come here.
Beth: Okay, the correct answer was, "No, she's not!"

Jimmy: I thought we were done fighting.
Beth: No, I walked into the bedroom. You were supposed to follow
  me...
Jimmy: I'm sorry but when an angry bear walks away, you don't follow
  it.

Marques Houston: Yo, man, obviously you don't know how to deal with
  the ladies.
Jimmy: This coming from a man who sings a song called "Pop That
  Booty".

Crandall: It's a great show, guys. Tomorrow I want you to keep this
  level of hilarity up. Maybe we'll do a show on, oh I don't know,
  cancer?

Carl: So is this the place you hung out when you used to dress like
  Boy George?
Jimmy: That was once, alright, for a Halloween party. And I'd
  appreciate it if you would take the picture off of your
  screensaver.

Beth: Look at these teeny tiny little sneakers. Oh, and this tiny
  little hat. Oh, how come teeny tiny things are always so cute?
Pam: They're not all cute. Some of them are just inadequate.

Beth: Oh, look at this crib and it's 25% off.
Pam: Hey, why don't they make these things for adults? So many places
  to attach handcuffs.
Beth: Pam, could you clean up your act? We are in a baby store.
Pam: I know! How come they have to make everything in here so sexual?

Beth: I've got a surprise for you.
Jimmy: Oh no! No, last time you said that you had just finished
  peeing on a stick.

Jimmy: You know somethin', Carl? The times, they are a-changin'.
Carl: Mmm, that's hard to believe when you're quoting a forty year
  old song.

[It's Otis's first time in his own room]
Jimmy: Honey, look, you've already checked on him six times tonight.
Beth: I just wanna make sure he's okay.
Jimmy: Okay. Okay, maybe you should. 'Cause he's probably climbed out
  of his crib, crawled down the block and reached the Things That Can
  Lodge in Your Throat store.

Jimmy: Yes! We are playing catch just like I did with my dad. Only
  this is better because I'm not calling Otis a spazz and yelling
  that he better stop crying or I'll give him something to cry about.

Carl: It's time for us to take a break here on The Core, so if you're
  in your car, take a minute and pick your nose and pretend no one
  can see ya.

Debbie: Just sit back and relax and let us judge you.

Beth: Jimmy does his hair at, like, the speed of evolution.

Debbie: Did the camera love you? If it were a dog it would be humping
  your leg.

Carl: Where'd you get the sweater? I mean, did Bill Cosby throw up on
  you?

Kevin: Adrianne Curry, she's hot. She would be perfect for me if only
  she were blind and didn't care about money.

Jimmy: No, I am not the male model type, really.
Janice Dickinson: Clearly, dear. Not with those pores.

Jimmy: Not all child stars go bad. The kids from The Cosby Show
  turned out okay.

Jimmy: Okay, I'm gonna share a painful memory from my childhood.
Beth: Oh, is this about when your mother found you "discovering
  yourself?"
Jimmy: Thank you for making this such a safe environment in which to
  share.

Jimmy: Oh my God! I like having sex with women but I'm gay, aren't I?

Beth: You know how Ben and J-Lo are called "Ben-nifer"? Maybe we
  could name Pam and Carl "Ca-Pam".

Pam: You know, you're not that bad when you're looking me in the eyes
  and not the sweater.
Carl: You know what? I'm glad you brought that up cause I gotta know.
  Are they real or, uh, contacts?
Pam: Oh, they're definitely real. My vision is 36, 24, 36.

Carl: Does everybody in Morocco eat with their hands or did this
  place run out of silverware?

Pam: Carl, the way they're staring at us to see if we'll hook up,
  it's... it's like we're on Elimidate.

Beth: Oh, shoot! I forgot to tell them that they're both lactose
  intolerant. You know, that's the kind of mutual struggle that
  brings people together.

Beth: Grandma, have you been drinking?
Grandma: Of course not! You know I never I never hit the sauce when
  I'm on duty.
Beth: Well then who's been drinking this whiskey?
Grandma: Oh, that! I gave it to Otis.

Jimmy: You gave Otis whiskey?
Grandma: Yes, that's alright. I didn't let him drive.

Jimmy: Grandma, you dipped Otis's pacifier in alcohol?
Grandma: Yes, and then he had some formula as a chaser!

Grandma: Oh, look, I know that my child rearing tactics must seem a
  little outmoded to you, with your car seats and your fancy,
  non-rectal thermometers, but I helped raise you and you turned out
  okay, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Yeah, but who knows what my potential would've been if I
  hadn't been dropped, drugged and probed.

Beth: There's a freezer full of ice to rub on Otis's gums if he gets
  fussy from the teething.
Grandma: Ice, gotcha, cause that'll come in handy if he wants
  something on the rocks.

Beth: Ca-Pam had to cancel. She's got a stomach virus.
Jimmy: Oh, man, I hope I don't get it. You know, I think I saw her
  lick her fingers before she grabbed my testicles... Sheep
  testicles. It's a Moroccan dish. Goes great with cow brains.
Grandma: And you think whiskey on the gums is peculiar?

Jimmy: Alright, since your parents are coming, I did the standard
  pre-parent sweep. Which means if you're looking for your "neck
  massager", it's under the bed.
Beth: Aren't you excited?
Jimmy: No. Doesn't work on my "neck".

Jimmy: Goodness, how are you guys?
Monty: So tired I'm about to lose incontinence... You can relax, the
  day I don't make that joke is the day you have to worry.

Ginger: You look embarrassed. Like that time you worked at McDonalds
  and I came in and asked for a McHug and kiss.

Pam: Who's ready to shop? Because there are some clothes out there
  that are dying to try me on.

Ginger: The toy store at home, it's so out of date. Its top seller is
  an M.C. Hammer action figure, which might confuse Otis because no
  matter where you touch it, it says, "You can't touch this."

Pam: I'll stay here with Otie. You two go.
Beth: Pam, I can't leave you with a sick baby.
Pam: I know, but I had to pretend to offer.

Beth: It's no problem.
Jimmy: Okay, alright. I'm gonna agree with you because history shows
  that's my best chance for some sweet, sweet lovin.

Beth: You know, it's like she's avoiding Otis on purpose, like he's
  the baby equivalent of jury duty.

Jimmy: It has nothing to do with your age, all right? Look, I mean
  Dick Clark is like a thousand.

Monty: Ah, I lost something, Beth. I'm gonna go out and try to find
  it.
Beth: What?
Monty: My will to live.

Beth: So what do you guys think? This place has the best sushi in
  Denver.
Ginger: Yeah, it's nice... But at Red Lobster they cook the fish. I
  know it takes a little more time, but I think it's worth the
  effort.

Monty: Ginger and I feel that, at Otis's age, a baby's like a famous
  painting. It's beautiful but it doesn't do much. So, after a while,
  you've seen it.
Ginger: But soon Otis will be moving and talking and we won't be able
  to stop watching him. Then he won't be like a painting, he'll be
  like TV.

Jimmy: Who are those people?
Beth: I'll tell you who they are: interlopers.
Jimmy: Okay, honey, some of us went to community college. Use words I
  can understand.

Marv: Hi, I'm Marv, your grandmother's gentleman caller... or as you
  kids would say, uh, her, uh, booty call.

Pam: If I wanted to be watched all the time, I'd reconnect the webcam
  in my bedroom.

Beth: At times like this, I wish I were a guy.
Pam: Yeah, I wish I was a guy too... cause then I'd find out what
  it's like to have sex with me.

Carl: Hey, you - you have a webcam in your bedroom?
Pam: Yeah, I call it the Hot Pam Cam... dot org... dot gasm.

Jimmy: Carl, we're gonna be spending at least two nights on that
  rooftop doing this charity radio-thon. Man, you're gonna need a
  heavy jacket and I know I would appreciate it if you brought a
  change a underwear.

Carl: Remember the last time we did a radio-thon, right? Mention a
  pizza place on air, pizza shows up. Mention a bar, boom, beer shows
  up. This year, I'm thinking big. I'm going for some clothes,
  jewelry, home theatre system...

Jimmy: Carl, listen, you're gonna have to pretend that this
  radio-thon is gonna be torture, okay?
Carl: Why?
Jimmy: Because, man, look I could be the jackhole trying to escape my
  wife and kid for a few days, or I could be the nice guy forced to
  sleep on a rooftop for charity. Alright? Which one of those guys do
  you think gets sympathy sex?

[Beth walks in pushing Otis in a carriage]
Beth: I walked all over Denver trying to get him asleep, if you make
  a noise, I'll shoot you.
Jimmy: Wouldn't a gun make a noise?
Beth: I'll get a silencer.
Jimmy: It'll still make that little "phtttt".

Crandall: And I'm here to kick off our annual radio-a-thon for
  charity where we give our listeners a chance to help some needy
  people.
Jimmy: That's right. This man hasn't had a date in over two years.

Pam: You think Otis is gonna wake up with all this noise in here?
Beth: Oh, not a chance. He'll save that for the exact moment I fall
  asleep tonight.

Beth: Y'know, I miss Jimmy. Last night is the first time he's been
  away from me and Otis. It was strange not seeing him come home from
  work with his usual greeting: "Who's that new guy coming out of
  Pam's apartment?"

Pam: He's not my boyfriend.
Beth: Oh, really? Don't you date him? Accept gifts from him? Sleep
  with him every night?
Pam: Yes.
Beth: Well then what does that make him?
Pam: Lucky!

Carl: Well, we define commitment differently, y'know. I call her "my
  girlfriend", she calls me "Carl".

Beth: Okay, if we are going to tame the wild booty monster inside of
  you, then we have to do a "flirt intervention". The first step is
  to recognize that you cannot flirt your way through life.
Pam: What are you talking about? I just flirt socially... on
  weekends... at parties... Oh, it doesn't hurt anyone.

Beth: Have you ever flirted while you were alone?
Pam: Well, once in a while I look in the mirror... Well it's not my
  fault. I'm cute, dammit!

Beth: Now do you remember when you started flirting?
Pam: Yes. I was five. Little Timmy Johnson had this toy truck. I
  didn't want the truck, but I wanted him to give me the truck. So I
  batted my eyes and I told him how fine he looked in that sandbox.
  Well the next thing you know, I had his truck, all his action
  figures and the keys to his big wheel. From then on I was hooked.

Beth: You're weak! You're a nobody! You're nothing!
Pam: What are you doing?
Beth: Breaking ya down so we can build you back up.
Pam: Alright, fine. But when you build me back up, can you add a few
  inches to my bust line?

Beth: He uses my body for nine months like it's an all-you-can-eat
  salad bar at Sizzler and his first word is "Da-Da".
Pam: Well maybe he wasn't saying "Da-Da". Maybe he was lookin at me
  and sayin, "D- damn, Pam's fine".

[Jimmy and Carl wake up spooning]
Carl: How much beer did we drink?
Jimmy: Is my hand on your ass?
Carl: Yes.
Jimmy: Too much!

Jimmy: What are you two doing in bed together?
Beth: Pam spent the night. We were having a girls night.
Jimmy: Define "girls night".
Beth: It's not what you're thinking.
Jimmy: So you guys aren't gonna put on nurses uniforms and have a
  pillow fight on a trampoline?
Beth: No, we did that earlier... just after we washed cars in our
  bikinis in slow-motion.

[Jimmy awakens Pam by pulling a sleeping bag off of her, thinking
  she's Carl]
Pam: What? You touch my butt once and you come back for seconds?
Carl: Did he grab your butt? Cause he grabbed mine earlier. What's up
  with you and black booty?

[Carl and Pam have sex on a rooftop]
Carl: So listen, what we did up here tonight, right, qualifies us for
  the, uh, 800 foot high club.
Pam: Yeah, but I'm already a member - since 1992.

Carl: How do you like your steak?
Jimmy: Like I like my Childhood Mutism - very rare.


111548,111549c113754,113755
Harry Smick: It was fixed last week.
: Tell that to the customer drinking scotch and air.
111644c113850
  inch or two to the right and you'd be missing that eye!
111647a113854,113857
[Rockford knocks out a thug with one punch]
Jim Rockford: Ow! If I could do that without a roll of quarters in my
  hand, I'd be a terror.

115166a117377,117379
Courtney Love: I know you! I had sex with you!
Elton John: No.

115566a117780,117783
["Newlyweds" parody]
Nick Lachey: To be honest, she can't even cure a ham.
Jessica Simpson: Aww, is the ham sick?

115895a118113,118117
Amanda: You're not the one they're going to ship to Russia in a
  refrigerator!
Lee: No, I'm the one they're going to put up against the wall and
  shoot!

116773a118996,119020
J.D.: Hey there, research buddy!
Dr. Cox: We're only four seconds in and I'm already regretting my
  decision.
J.D.: [hits a bell] Things Jordan says during sex! [drops giant stack
  of carefully sorted files]... there's a good chance I'm gonna kill
  someone.
Dr. Cox: [hits a bell] Things you say when you talk to your patients.

Nurse Carla Espinosa: Christopher!
Chris Turk: Christopher? You only call me Christopher when you're mad
  or when we're having sex... Baby, are you mad when we're having
  sex?
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Sometimes.

Nurse Carla Espinosa: [helping a bruised J.D] So how far over the
  creek did you make it?
J.D.: I don't know the exact distance in terms of feet and inches but
  in my own terms I would have to say... about half way.
Dr. Cox: [strolling by] Don't stop paddling, Amy. You are sure in for
  the "Little Girl X-Games".

Elliot: Position one, two or three?
J.D.: We only had two.
Elliot: Oh yeah. Then I have to show you something later.

117099a119347,119351
# "Second City TV" (1976)
Filth's boss: The pope's coming to town next week.
Harry Filth: You want me to off him?


120553a122806,122829
Shane: So, if I'm a cocksucker . . .
Ronnie: What do you mean "if"?

[Trish wants Shane to go undercover as a gay hooker]
Shane: [indicating Ronnie and Lem] Why can't one of them do it?
Trish: They don't look gay enough.

Vic: [to Julien about someone suspected for killing Tommy's family]
  He sees the uniform and runs, he did it.

Julien: [to the back-up cops] Vic's out back trying to get him to put
  the gun down.
Cop: Hope he doesn't try too hard.

[Shane goes undercover as a gay hooker and comments on a passing
  truck's wheels]
Hooker: Looks like our new guy knows a thing or two about rim jobs.
Lem: [listening in the car] Ha ha... rim jobs.

Claudette: How'd the Strike Team do?
Trish: They did great. [indicates Shane] That one's a naturally born
  undercover cum guzzler.
Shane: [playfully] Hey, I heard that, bitch.

123520c125796
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Se"or Burns es el diablo.
124223c126499
Ghost: The ghost of C»sar Ch<sum>vez.
124225c126501
Ghost: Cause you don't know what C»sar Ch<sum>vez looks like.
126877c129153
Homer: Ah, touch».
127439a129716,129737
Lisa: Wow, there's a lot about bullying I didn't know.
Nelson: Yes, there's a lot of history there. Did you know it predates
  agriculture?

Comic Book Guy: Human contact: the final frontier.

Marge: Artie Ziff, why are you living in our attic?
Artie Ziff: Let me explain. I used to run an internet company.
Bart: Say no more.
Artie Ziff: I would stop, but I love the sound of my own voice.

Eduardo: To win, we will need a very special dance. La Tango de la
  Muerte!
Lisabella: Only one man has ever been foolish enough to attempt that
  dance, and he is dead!
Eduardo: My twin brother, Freduardo. But where he died, I shall live
  - in his apartment.
[They dance La Tango de la Muerte and survive]
Eduardo: You are now carrying my child.
Lisabella: But how?
Eduardo: It is the mystery of the dance.

128487c130785
Carey: Sure. [hands Jack 80 cents]
128490c130788
Jack: Whatever. [walks away]
128502c130800
Jack: What *is* that thing?
128504c130802
  off, what do you say?
128509a130808,130811
Molly Phillips: We can't just walk up to a stranger's house, and say,
  "Are you okay?"
Fiona 'Fi' Phillips: Can if you're with me.

128824,128825c131126,131127
Sonic: Am I cool or what?
Sally: You are what.
129105c131407
  children - what's left of them - and go.
129760a132063,132078
Christopher Moltisanti: Jesus Christ, how're you doing? Your brother
  was like a fucking god, great leader! I also heard a lot about you.
Richie Aprile: Yeah, and I heard a lot about you. That's why I'm
  here.
Christopher Moltisanti: What do you mean?
Richie Aprile: Out of respect for our friend here, I'm gonna talk
  nice. You raise your hand to my niece again, next time you won't
  see my face. You understand?
Christopher Moltisanti: Who says I raised a hand to her?
Richie Aprile: This kid getting jerky with me?
[Tony Soprano shakes his head]
Richie Aprile: Look kid, I shouldn't have to explain myself. I'm from
  the old-school. You wanna raise your hand, you give her your last
  name. Then it's none of my fuckin' business. Until then, keep your
  hands in your pockets. We understand each other?

129947c132265
Kyle: - -and starts biting the inside of your ass?
130377c132695
Eric Cartman: Oh, son of a b - -- .
131021,131022c133339,133340
Chef: I said I wish I could go to Prague.
Mrs Crabtree: So do I.
131090a133409,133410
Cartman: Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.

133793a136114,136124
Dan Patrick: [describing mid-season 1996 NFL standings] Breathalyzers
  would have been administered or urine samples collected if you
  thought it was possible that the Panthers and Cowboys would have
  identical records after ten games. Dallas improved to 6-4 with
  Sunday's win in San Francisco; the Panthers could do likewise with
  a home win over the Giants.
[Fans hold up Chris Berman masks]
Dan Patrick: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Keith Olbermann: AAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dan Patrick: Oh, it's just a mask.

135943c138274,138275
[O'Neill bangs his fist on a filing cabinet]
Jack O'Neill: D'oh!
135945,135946c138277,138279
Jack O'Neill: I forgot to tape The Simpsons!
[Teal'c raises his eyebrow]
Jack O'Neill: It's important... to me.
136479c138812
Jack O'Neill: My name's Jack; it means... what's in the box.
138264c140597
Rob: Two women, one brain... one half-wit left.
138268c140601
Rob: The good news is - I have a girlfriend. The bad news is - she
138270a140604,140615
Himself: The fact of the matter is that Matt is who the group would
  like to vote out next because we think that he is mentally unstable
  and we are afraid that he may kill us, so, uh, we're trying not to
  let him know he's going to be voted out.
Herself: We need to be very cautious that he does not feel threatened
  or he does not feel like he needs to kill any of us.

[after Christy, who is deaf, single-handedly won Immunity]
Himself: Christy, you do not have a disability.

Himself: Gotta get on the chain!

138280a140626,140627
Dr. Anton Arcane: Torture... slow... pain beyond belief.

145182a147530,147537
[discussing the "What Would Jesus Drive?" commercials]
Jim Norton: Well, I don't know what type of car he'd drive, but I do
  know that he'd drive an automatic because I'd imagine it's really
  hard to change gears when you've got holes in your hands.

[Ralphie May, who is very obese, hugs Jim]
Jim Norton: Man, I haven't liked you since you froze Han Solo.

146881a149237,149240
# "U.S. Bounty Hunters" (2003)
Agent Tellez: Do you want us to Hogtie you?


150778c153137
[referring to Rita]
150798a153158,153163
[Mavis's hotel is hosting a George Bush event in on room and a
  lesbian wedding in another room]
Mavis: Which event are you here for?
Lady: The Bush event
Mavis: Which one?

155359,155425d157723
155475a157774,157778
Carlo Indrezzano: YOU saved me?
Wonder Woman: Yes.
Carlo Indrezzano: Impossible. You're a woman!
Wonder Woman: I have heard that once or twice before.

155498a157802,157868
# "Wonderfalls" (2004)
Jaye: Did you just say "My ass"?

Aaron: [about Jaye] She lives in a trailer park. Clearly she's
  disturbed. I mean, clearly.

Darrin: Sweetheart, when's the last time you had an orgasm.
[silence]
Sharon: That sound you hear is stunned silence.
Darrin: There's nothing to be ashamed of. Millions of people have
  orgasms every day.
Jaye: Not ashamed, mortified.

Sharon: [discussing Jaye] I think we should put her down.
Karen: Sharon...
Aaron: It is just like going to sleep.

Jaye: [to a stutterer] Bu-bu-bu-buh bye!

Jaye: Wait, I can't let you give me your last eight dollars. Here's
  five back.

[Jaye has a bruise under one eye]
Mahandra: What happened to you?
Jaye: I got into a fight with a middle-aged Texas hausfrau in the
  course of performing a good deed.
Mahandra: Why were you doing a good deed?
Jaye: I wanted to see what it felt like.

Wax Lion: Sharon and Poor Bitch sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Poor Bitch with
  the baby carriage.

Jaye: I guess I thought if I could just get my sister laid the little
  wax lion might just shutup.
Eric: The wax lion wanted your sister to have sex?
Jaye: I'm assuming.
Eric: Does the little wax lion ever tell you to burn things or hurt
  people?
Jaye: I bet he's working up to that...

Jaye: [brandishing coat hanger] I know karate!

Bianca: [Stuttering] St-St...
Jaye: Stalking me?
Bianca: St-St...
Jaye: Stabbing me?
Bianca: St-st...
Jaye: Stealing my organs after you stab me?
Bianca: St-st...
Jaye: Stitching a skin suit out of my dead corpse after you stab me
  and steal my organs?

sharon: Tupperware is not an eating vessel.

[after telling a story about Indians to a little boy]
Boy: So what happened to the chief?
Jaye: He died.
Boy: Why didn't the princess die?
Jaye: Because she was hot; are you going to buy the tape or not?
Boy: No.
Jaye: Then get out. No loitering.

Karen: Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a
  planner.


155642,155643c158012,158013
Jeff Glaser: If we become blinded by the beauty of nature we may fail
  to see its cruelty and violence.
155645c158015
Jeff Glaser: No, "When Animals Attack." On the FOX Network.
155691c158061
[after finding Mulder's bedroom full of junk]
155732,155733c158102,158103
[entering Mulder's apartment]
Melissa Scully}: Why is it so dark in here?
155973c158343
  to hunt aliens with a crackpot - albeit brilliant - partner.
157839a160210,160245
[Two dishevelled, unshaved men are lying on a raft in the middle of
  the ocean]
Man #1: What was that?
Man #2: What?
Man #1: ...Nothing. My mind's beginning to play tricks on me. I
  thought we were lying on a raft just now.
Man #2: You should take it easy, you know. You must be working too
  hard.
[They're actually lying on a mattress in a dingy cellar lit by a bare
  bulb]
Man #2: Bloody hot, isn't it?
Man #1: It is.
Man #2: I should get a lower wattage bulb.
Man #1: Help! We're sinking! We're sinking!
Man #2: Relax. We're not sinking, we're not sinking. I'll get some
  fresh air in here.
[He opens the door, revealing endless ocean, and breathes deeply]
Man #2: Ah, that's better.
[He closes the door, then pauses]
Man #2: Uh...
Man #1: What's the matter?
Man #2: Nothing! Nothing. Can you swim at all?
Man #1: What?
Man #2: I was just wondering.
Man #1: Wondering?
Man #2: Yes, I was wondering if you might swim to the chemist and get
  me something for my hallucinations.
Man #1: Have you had one too?
Man #2: Either that, or the whole town is flooded.
Man #1: You're right. We've been working too hard. I haven't had a
  holiday for over a year now.
Man #2: What about this?
Man #1: What? This? A holiday? Two weeks in a cellar under a light
  bulb?
Man #2: It was all I could get.

159571,159573c161977,161982
Viking: Blow-hards the both of you. She probably was some
  smoke-colored camp girl. Looked like that one's mother.
[Laughter]
Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: My mother was a pure woman from a noble family.
  And I, at least, know who my father is, you pig-eating son of a
  whore!
159593,159594c162002,162003
Herger the Joyous: When they come, we form a circle in the center of
  the room, backs to one another.
159609,159613c162018,162022
Vikings: 'Lo, there do I see my father. 'Lo, there do I see my
  mother, and my sisters, and my brothers. 'Lo, there do I see the
  line of my people, back to the beginning. 'Lo, they do call to me.
  They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla,
  where the brave may live...
159616c162025
Herger the Joyous: Where did you learn our language?
159624a162034
Redhead: Watch where you throw that... you dig like a dog.
159626,159630c162036,162043
: I said you dig like one. Flinging earth carelessly like an animal.
Herger the Joyous: So, now I'm an animal?
Redhead: You're not listening.
Herger the Joyous: I'm deaf?
Redhead: You're a fool little man.
Herger the Joyous: That is because, boy, your words are feeble and
  twisted as an old woman!
Redhead: This old woman'll send you to the next world old man.
161130a163544,163545
Monty: I need you to make me ugly.

162102a164518,164520
Lucy: I wonder what's the matter with him.
Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.

163076a165495,165500
# 8 ½ Women (1999)
Philip Emmenthal: How many directors do you think uses films to
  fulfill their sexual fantasies?
Storey Emmenthal: Most of them, I think.


163793,163794c166217,166218
Will: Oh no! November the sawding 19th... Six weeks before bloody
  Christmas and they were already playing that song.
163956,163960c166380,166383
: What'd you figure you'd do after government service, Elliot?
: I'm not quitting.
: You ain't no Presidential appointee, Elliot. One that hired you is
  me. You got thirty days.
165311a167735,167763
[watching Anton and Linda on the screen without sound, Sam and Maggie
  ad-lib their conversation with French accents]
Sam: Look, my darling, I wanted to show you how well my hands fit on
  top of my knees, and also to give you a little...
Maggie: Get away from me, get away from me, please, you are rude.
Sam: Oh, but I love you my little lamb, I must have you. My love is
  throbbing at quite a fevered cadence.
Maggie: But you cannot have me, my love is reserved for another.
Sam: You cannot mean...?
Maggie: Yes! The Milky Way Man!
[on the screen, Anton turns away from Linda]
Sam: No, no, no! Anyone but him! No, this is a man who can predict
  Hapal Cluster emissions. Next to him I am nothing, I'm a worm,
  I'm...
Maggie: Yes, I love his emissions. Not every man...
[they crack up laughing]
Maggie: ...can be a Milky Way Man.
Sam: No.
[on the screen, Anton sulks]
Maggie: What will you do now?
Sam: Forlorn, I will wander the earth, thinking of you - and pausing
  occasionally to have the sex with the skullses. Heh-heh.
Maggie: That's good. Now be quiet about that, or I will make you...
[Linda stuffs a pecan into Anton's mouth, and then licks her fingers]
Maggie: Eat another one of these pecans!
Sam: I like! Oh, this is very good.
Maggie: Look how I'm licking my fingers, you like that?
Sam: I like everything, I am French.

165321,165322c167773,167774
Sam: But you know what happened? Lassie came home later.
Maggie: Did the little boy make it with Lassie?
165352c167804
Sam: You don't understand...
168069c170521,170524
[At the beginning of the movie, a man got in Ted Striker's taxi; Ted
  Striker told him that he'll be right back. But the ending credits
  of that movie have all been scrolled by, and the man in the taxi is
  still waiting for Ted Striker]
168740a171196,171199
[the Alamo garrison is informed that no reinforcements are coming]
Jim Bowie: Well, that's it. I'm taking my men out of here now.
  Cutting through to the north. You coming?
Col. Davey Crocket: Seems like the better part of valor.
168742,168750d171200
168751a171202
# Alamo, The (2004)
168775c171226
James Bowie: You and me can have a drink.
168777,168779c171228,171230
William Travis: I told you Colonel, I don't drink. I'll gamble, leave
  pregnant women in the mid of the night, I'll visit prostitutes, but
  drinking is where I draw the line.
168782,168783c171233,171234
William Travis: Well Colonel, I think I'll just have to settle for
  what I am now.
168794c171245
Davy Crockett: You know, if it were just me, simple old David from
168800a171252,171261
[Crockett and Bowie are discussing whether to stay or leave]
Davy Crockett: If it was just old David from Tennessee, he might slip
  over that wall and take his chances; but that Davy Crockett fella,
  he's been on these walls all of his life.

[Davey Crockett is presented to Santa Ana]
Davy Crockett: That is Santa Ana?
[Mexican Solider Nods Head]
Davy Crockett: I thought he would be taller.

169562a172024,172037
[The Caterpillar has called a very frustrated Alice back so he can
  finish the conversation]
Alice: ...Yes?
Caterpillar: ...Keep your temper.
Alice: Is that all?
Caterpillar: No. "Exaketededly" what is your problem?
Alice: Well its exak... exact... Its precisely this. I should like to
  be a little larger, sir.
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a *wretched* height.
Caterpillar: *suddenly angry* I am "exaketededly" three inches high,
  AND IT IS A VERY GOOD HEIGHT INDEEED!
Alice: But I'm not use to it. And you needn't SHOUT!

171760,171761c174235,174237
  to make an experiment.
[Starts talking into the ear]
Pratt: Hello, Bidwell? Can you hear me?
171767,171774c174243,174251
Higgins: Permission to check on the condition of my woman, sir? I
  wanna check on her bandages and see if she can keep some food down.
Edwards: You are aware, of course, that this woman of yours is...
  made of... straw?
Higgins: Oh, yes, sir. Figure that's why she burned so easy.

Edwards: Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or
  bears will rise up and then BEARS will be in congress and we will
  be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.
171776c174253
Lady: I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones.
175626a178104,178106
[after Tiger falls off a cliff]
Tiger: [as though nothing happened] I hurt myself.

178850a181331,181339
# Année dernière à Marienbad, L' (1961)
[X wanders through the hotel's corridors cataloging items he sees]
X: Empty salons. Corridors. Salons. Doors. Doors. Salons. Empty
  chairs, deep armchairs, thick carpets. Heavy hangings. Stairs,
  steps. Steps, one after the other. Glass objects, objects still
  intact, empty glasses. A glass that falls, three, two, one, zero.
  Glass partition, letters.


180315a182805
[The redux version]
181477a183968,183972
[getting arrested by a policeman after a strip club brawl]
Rockhound: You are SO messin' with national security right now, man!
  You are FIRED tomorrow morning, I'm tellin' ya! I'll get the CIA
  and the FBI, you'll be workin' security at Toys R' Us!

183760c186255
  jumbling... carry the seven, divide by... [Looks confused]
183774c186269
[Everyone starts to leave]
183779c186274
[Scott and Dr. Evil look at Mini Me]
183796a186292,186293
Nigel Powers: Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage.

184530a187028,187032
# Avanti! (1972)
Pamela: Oh, they're a terrific group! They call themselves, "The Four
  Apostles" - Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bertram.


185873,185875c188375,188378
Goldie Wilson: Your wait and see, Mr. Carruthers. I will be mayor.
  I'll be the most powerful man in Hill Valley. I'm gonna clean up
  this town.
Lou: [hands him a broom] Good. You can start by sweeping the floor.
186032,186034c188535,188540
Younger Dr. Emmett Brown: [running out of the room] 1.21 gigawatts?
  1.21 gigawatts? Great Scott!
Marty McFly: [following] What the hell is a gigawatt?

[repeated Line]
Dr. Emmett Brown: Great Scott!
186040c188546
[addressing the shocked expressions at the dance after playing a wild
186042,186043c188548,188549
Marty McFly: I guess you guys aren't ready for that, yet. But your
  kids are gonna love it.
186065,186066c188571,188573
Marty McFly: Calvin? Wh... Why do you keep calling me Calvin?
Lorraine Baines: Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein?
  It's written all over your underwear.
186086c188593
Lorraine Baines: Sure. I'd love to park.
186099c188606
Marty McFly: Well, what kind of date? What do kids do in the '50s?
186128,186130c188635,188637
George McFly: Yup that Biff. What a character. Always trying to get
  away with something. Although if it wasn't for him.
: We never would've fallen in love.
186186,186189d188692
186612,186613c189115,189116
[1885 - Marty walks into a saloon, dressed in the outfit that Doc
  Brown gave him in 1955]
186615,186616c189118,189119
Old-Timer #2: Why, I didn't know the circus was in town.
Old-Timer #3: Musta gotten that shirt off a dead Chinese.
186618,186619c189121,189122
Marty McFly: Uh, I'll have, uh, ice water.
[the old-timers laugh]
186622c189125
  horse trough out there. [pulls out a shot glass and pours into it]
189347a191851,191865
# Bar 20 (1943)
California Carlson: I'm worried
Lin Bradley: What are you worried about?
California Carlson: What chance have we got when the shooting starts?
Hopalong Cassidy: We'll have as good a chance as Quirt had.
California Carlson: Sure and look what happened to him! A man that
  would get himself killed to prove a point has got a mule beat for
  stubbornness.

Richard Adams: The bolder the outlaw, the more brazan his actions.

California Carlson: Hey! Come back here and I'll orphan your children
  and widow your wife!


189428,189430c191946,191948
Barbarosa: Always stand still until you're done shooting. Nothin'
  scares a man more than for you to be standin' still when you should
  be runnin' like a spotted assed ape.
189464c191982
Angel: You are on my road, senor.
189467,189468c191985,191986
Angel: Signs? Look around you, there are signs everywhere (nods
  toward armed bandits). Maybe you don't know who I am.
189470c191988
Angel: I am Angel Morales.
189472c191990
Angel: Si, senor; I know who you are.
189476,189477c191994,191995
Angel: [to Karl] My father says you stopped Barbarosa from robbing
  him.
193007a195526,195540
[Pochenko gestures to hit Katrina]
Joy Miller: What are you doing?
Pochenko: You do not understand
Joy Miller: Oh no? You have the temper of an eight year old, your own
  children are scared to DEATH of you! And you hit girls! Tell me
  when I'm getting warm!
Pochenko: This whole thing is none of your business!
Joy Miller: You know maybe you're right. Because even if you can't
  see that doing the right thing even when you have nothing to gain,
  is what makes you... a mench, and decent, and civilized! I can't
  have anything to do with you
Pochenko: They boy will remain in prison, it's none of your business
Joy Miller: You know everyone is right about you... you are a
  beast...

195918c198451
Scott Donlan: Rhapsody has two mommies.
195930,195931c198463,198464
Christy Cummings: We started this magazine, 'American Bitch'. It's a
  focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.
198138c200671
Ed Bloom (Age 10): Your momma's a gypsy.
204846c207379
Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that clichÈ.
204850,204851c207383,207384
Howard Johnson: Y'know, Nietzsche says: "Out of chaos comes order."
Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.
204919c207452,207462
Buddy Bizarre: Follow me, faggots!

[Harriet Johnson reads her letter to the Governor]
Harriet Johnson: [quietly] To the honorable William J. LePetomaine,
  Governor . . .
Townspeople: Louder! We can't hear you!
Harriet Johnson: I'm not used to public speaking... WE THE WHITE,
  GODFEARING CITIZENS OF ROCK RIDGE wish to express our extreme
  displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him
  immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to
  prove that you are the leading asshole in the state!
205962c208505
[Larry says something incomprehensible]
205964a208508,208514
Bill: You want your kids to be right in the middle. Until they bring
  home of their friends you don't see eye to eye with. My daughter
  brought home of her "goth" friends. Have you seen these little
  freaks? What happened? Black nail polish, black lipstick, black eye
  liner, black hair, liquid paper white face. I'm sorry... didn't we
  use to call that Halloween?

208338c210888
  G^ring! The British have plenty of them! Talking big is all he's
208344,208347c210894,210897
Captain: They won't catch us this time! Not this time! They haven't
  spotted us! No, they're all snoring in their bunks! Or, you know
  what? They're drinking at the bar, celebrating our sinking! Not
  yet, my friends. Not yet!
208351c210901
Captain: Okay, men, now listen. We're going to blow out the water now
208356,208357c210906,210907
  head straight for La Rochelle. If we make it, it's half a bottle of
  beer for each! There is one thing on our side; they won't be
208625a211176,211184
Rudy: If you want to be cool, first you pull your headband into the
  cool position. then you just lean back, put this hand in your
  pocket and then you wave this hand behind you like you just cut one
  and your trying to shoo away the stinch.

Rudy: Jesus is in Tiajuana.

Rudy: Hey Man, whaaas sappening?

210076a212636,212644
# Boxing Gloves (1929)
Joe: Dog gonnit! Dog gonnit! Don't you ever do that again! If there's
  one thing that makes me mad, it's to get my hair mussed!

Mary Ann: I want a ticket and a half. Pete ain't twelve yet.

Farina: Boy, I think my brain just laid an idea!


211632c214200
[To himself, crawling above some acoustic ceiling tiles]
211644c214212
[Claire is doing Allison's make-up]
211803c214371
Brian Johnson: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.
211871,211872c214439,214440
Richard Vernon: You think about this: when you get old, these kids -
  when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country.
211955c214523
  open]
211965c214533
Brian Johnson: Because it's my business - my personal business!
211970,211972c214538,214540
  home!" "Hi dad!" "Hi son! Hey, what do you say we go fishing
  today?" "Really dad? Oh yay!... But I have homework to do!" "That's
  okay, you can do it on the boat!" "Oh, you're the best dad ever!"
211974c214542
  (kiss)(kiss)
211987,211992c214555,214560
Holly Golightly: He's all right! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor
  slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the
  right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took
  up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find
  a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is
  but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's.
212784c215352
  Explosives and L-pills - they go well together, don't they? And
212824,212825c215392,215393
Major Clipton: The fact is, what we're doing could be construed as -
  forgive me sir - collaboration with the enemy. Perhaps even as
212848,212850c215416,215422
Colonel Saito: Do you know what will happen to me if the bridge is
  not ready in time?
Colonel Nicholson: I haven't the foggiest.
Colonel Saito: I'll have to kill myself. What would you do if you are
  me?
Colonel Nicholson: Well I suppose if I were you, I'd have to kill
  myself.
212902a215475,215476
Colonel Nicholson: Queer bird, even for an American.

215072c217646
Tuke: Okay, I spy...
215075c217649
Rutt: Okay...
216204a218779,218780
Tuck & Roll: You fired!

218022a220599,220604
[time traveling Evan at age 7 threatens George Miller with a lighted
  stick of dynamite]
George Miller: Evan! Put that out, or you'll blow off both your
  hands!
Evan at 7: Been there, done that.

218735c221317
  life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!
218782,218783c221364,221368
Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no
  utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.
218801c221386
  perfectionis... t.
218815,218816c221400,221401
Chip Douglas: Well maybe I shouldn't have come at all, JERK OFF! I'm
  just jokin' with ya.
218822c221407
  with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!
218841c221426
Chip Douglas: You better buckle up. I've had a lot to drink... just
218854,218855c221439,221440
  something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... and he was
  speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.
218863a221449,221467
Cable Guy: If Robin had seen you tonight, she'd be begging you to
  take her back. I'm telling you, these knights get laid all the
  time.

Cable Guy: [He and Steve are on horses about to charge one another]
  This is our destiny!
Steven: No it's not!
Cable Guy: Yes it is!
Steven: No it isn't!
Cable Guy: Yes it is!
Steven: Isn't!
Cable Guy: T'is!
Steven: Isn't!
Cable Guy: T'is!

Cable Guy: [Steven punches him] You're gonna have to do better than
  that, Steven. Steven. St-st-my lisp is gone! [Steven punches him
  again; lisps] You thtupid thon of a bitch!

220074,220075c222678,222679
Vlad: Are you blushing?
Michael: Are you kidding? I'm doing everything but bat my eyes!
222637a225242,225395
# Carry On Behind (1975)
[Prof. Anna Vrooshka crashes into Prof. Crump's caravan]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Good Mornings, so sorry!
Prof. Roland Crump: Well that's alright, don't mention it.
The Dean: Crump, I'd like you to meet Professor Vrooshka.
[In a heavy Russian accent]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: How are you doinks?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: I have been examining Hadrian's Walls.
Prof. Roland Crump: He only had one.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: One what?
Prof. Roland Crump: He had one, one wall.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Terribly sorry, my English not yet perfected.

The Dean: I'm glad to see you two look like hitting it off.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Hitting it off, what does hit it off mean? Means
  like having it off, no?
Prof. Roland Crump: Oh no, it means establishing a friendly
  relationship.

[In a heavy Russian Accent]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Don't worry me and Professor Crump will soon be
  having it off.
Prof. Roland Crump: HITTING IT OFF!

[In Fred Ramsden's Butcher Shop]
Fred Ramsden: Hello Elss
Mrs. Rowan: Hello love, give us a bit of that for the old man.
Fred Ramsden: Give that to your husband and your in for a night of
  romance.
Mrs. Rowan: Ooh, can I do it in the oven?
Fred Ramsden: Do it where you like, its your kitchen.
Mrs. Rowan: Ooh!

[Linda's mother brings her cacti on holiday with her]
Linda Upmore: Mummy your not bringing them are you?
Daphne Barnes: Well I can't leave them at home, they'll die.
Arthur Upmore: Good.
Daphne Barnes: Did you say something?
Arthur Upmore: I said good, we've nearly finished packing.
[Daphne asks the taxi driver who brought her plants to put them
  somewhere safe, but Arthur gets a prodd from the Cactus on his
  bottom]
Daphne Barnes: Put that on the table will you?
Arthur Upmore: AHH! BLOODY HELL!
Daphne Barnes: Arthur, there is no need for that!
Arthur Upmore: Oh deary me, bless me soul, I do believe I nearly said
  a rude word, which is not suprising since I nearly got a cactus
  spike right up my a...
Daphne Barnes: ARTHUR!

[Fred Ramsden loses his Beach Ball and it ends up on Barnes' fire]
Barnes: What you yelling about?
Fred Ramsden: My balls burning!
Barnes: Don't stand so close to the fire.

Prof. Roland Crump: You mean the students got here before us?
Maj. Leep: Yes, were you held up?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Yes, before we started we had quick bang
  together.
Prof. Roland Crump: She ran into my caravan!
:
Maj. Leep: For a quick...
Prof. Roland Crump: No, it was a collision, she collided with it, now
  its a complete right off.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's ok we are squeezing in somehow.
Prof. Roland Crump: We will do nothing of the sort!

[Professor Vrooshka and Professor Crump bargain with Barnes to rent
  his derelict looking caravan]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Fifteen quids a veek.
Barnes: Twenty.
Prof. Roland Crump: The only reason why we want the dilapidated
  mobile hovel, is for somewhere to do out operations.
Barnes: Operations? What operations?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: He will be getting them out and I will be
  examining them and schticking labels on them.

Prof. Roland Crump: We can't share a caravan.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You thinking you getting crumpet, no?
Prof. Roland Crump: Certainly not, where on earth did you learn that
  expression?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Crumpet, is to squash it, it is in dictionary,
  crumpet is to squash it together.
Prof. Roland Crump: Oh! You mean cramped.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Its what I say crumpet.
Prof. Roland Crump: Crumpet, crumbit, crampit, well I'm not staying
  round here much looking, I'm going to the pub to see if they have
  rooms there.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Maybe you're getting crumpet in pub also?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: So you are sleeping in caravan?
Prof. Roland Crump: I suppose we could divide it up or something.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: H'ok, if you wishink.

[Professor Vrooshka cleans her dirty caravan but finds her scrubbing
  brush isn't up to standard to do the job]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Ahh, scrubber. Scrubber no working, borrowing
  from comrades.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Excuse please, ahh this is nice, this is very
  nice, no?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: In this caravan your not getting much crumpet,
  no?
Arthur Upmore: Pardon?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: CRUMPET.
Arthur Upmore: Yes that's what I thought you said.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am keeping a, how you say, a dirrrty
  caravan.
Arthur Upmore: Keeping a what?
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am having birds in my caravan you
  want to come and see?
Arthur Upmore: No thank you, not just now.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Therefore, I am going round camp looking for
  scrubbers.
Arthur Upmore: Really?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Excuse please, you have scrubbers in caravan?
Ernie Bragg: Certainly not!

[In the shower block, Linda Upmore tries to find her husband, Arthur]
Linda Upmore: Oh I do beg your pardon, my husband has one just like
  yours.
Joe Baxter: Hey?
Linda Upmore: It's also creased and wrinkled.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Tomorrow, we are poking holes all over caravan
  site.
Prof. Roland Crump: I don't think they would like that at all.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's ok, we are poking early.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: I'm sorry Major but I'm not loving you.
Maj. Leep: Yes, but...
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, when I love a man I give him
  everything, I give it all.
Maj. Leep: But I don't want it all, I just want a bit.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's time for knocking off!
Prof. Roland Crump: Time for what?

[In a heavy Russian accent and in reference to the strip teeze]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It is wrong for a lady to show her kernickers in
  public, No?

[Professor Vrooshka objects to the strip teeze act at the Caravan
  site clubhouse]
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: What is lady doing?
Prof. Roland Crump: It's a kind of dance.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Very perculiar, in my country we don't have
  dance like this.
Prof. Roland Crump: No, you have mixed bathing instead.
Prof. Anna Vrooshka: But lady is not taking bath.


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Babs: Are you going to stay with us all the time?
Jim Tanner: Oh yeah, I go all the way!
Babs: Oh I bet you do...

Dr. Kenneth Soaper: Barbara dear, do you think your quite suitably
  dressed for travelling?
Babs: Oh but sir, we were told to bring the minimum of clothing.

Mr. Short: Miss Dobbin, what's the meaning of this?
Miss Dobbin: I'm sorry sir but the gentlemen kept touching things.
Charlie Muggins: Yes she was showing me how to stick the pole up.

Miss Haggerd: GO AWAY DOCTOR SOAPER!

Miss Haggerd: I don't think a shower stall is the place for making
  advances!
Dr. Kenneth Soaper: I thought I got hold on the shower tap!

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Nicky Santoro: You made me pop your left eye of your fucking head, to
  protect that piece of shit! You dumb motherfucker!
Tony Doggs: Kill me!
Nicky: Kill you. Frankie. Do him a fuckin' favor!

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# Chaindance (1990)
Johnny: I think I'm in love
J.T. Blake: You're in lust.
Johnny: I'll call it what I want.


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Kate: Dude, three words: paper route.
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Nora: Didn't you hear me? My brother is missing!
Hank: Didn't you hear me? I'm on TV!

Tom: Where's Hank?
Nora: He's not going to make the cut.

Sarah: Release the hound!

Jake Baker: Yea, without you, we wouldn't be the twelve Bakers
  anymore. We'd be,(looks real serious) eleven.

Mike Baker: Who is this? [hands the phone to his mom] Somebody from
  somethin' somethin'.

Jessica Baker: Mike threw a dart at Kim's head and I assume that he
  will be punished.

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Andre The Giant: Dont you want to go some place you've never been
  before? You love trains, but you've only ridden a subway.

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[Roy is shoveling soil into his kitchen window]
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[Trying to get his kids to look for UFOs at 4 AM]
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Scientist: That's a 2500 dollar globe! What are you guys doing?

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Jan: So you bought a new lock! I hope you spent your money on a good
  one.

Jan: So you bought a new lock! I hope you spent your money on a good
  one.

Alma: I think there's another one outside. Look!
[Looking through their store front window]
Nick: Shit! Now he's bringing the whole goddamn family over!

Jan: Hey you! Welcome to America!

Gruta: There are probably 10,000 girls who would like to stand in
  front of me now. You really are a lucky girl!

Uncle Ralph: I'm not being dramatic, it's the truth! You retire down
  there, you die down there! I don't know about you, but if I'm gonna
  die, I want to die up here with the family instead of down there
  all alone!
[walking in]
Nick: Is he talking about dying again?

Jan: Oh it's only temporary. Where else was he suppose to stay when
  he got back?
Nick: Back was suppose to be for only a week! He's here over a month
  already! I don't even think he's looking for another place to live!

Dean: Don't bother to knock... just let yourselves in!

Jan: You selfish son-of-a-bitch! You got one hell-of-a-nerve! You're
  not gonna fuck up my plans! Now you sign these goddamn papers!

Nick: Go on... go on, disappear! That's all you've done your whole
  goddamn life! Run away! Run away! This time don't come back!

Jan: Get out!
Dalisay: But why?
Jan: You wanna know why? We had an agreement and my brother broke it!
  He's not suppose to be living in this apartment and neither are
  you! So get out!

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Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.: That's fuckin' blasphemy. Elvis wasn't a Cajun.
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  blacks of Ireland. The Northside Dubliners are the blacks of
  Dublin.
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  and it's simple. But it's something else 'cause, 'cause, 'cause
  it's honest, that's it. Its honest. There's no fuckin' bullshit. It
  sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure
  there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is
  more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the
  balls and lifts you above the shite.
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  "Soul Surgeon" Clifford. Dean "Mr Nipple" Fay on sax. Joey "The
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Lola: I like your... boots.

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[Kent is blind]
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Dr. Kent Clark: [aside] Wouldn't put him as a Polo man
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[Witnessing a celestial light show up close]
Ellie Arroway: Some celestial event. No - no words. No words to
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Faye: Can't you tell? I'm just a gun-toting weathergirl.
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Faye: Why? To crash a party.
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Elektra [not looking up]: It's right in front of you.
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Matt Murdock: Blind? Yeah.
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  money, and he goes fishing on the weekends, so I guess...
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Roger: You'll take care of me when I go, won't you, Peter?
Peter: Just rest, man, save your strength.
Roger: I don't want to be walkin' around, like THAT... Peter...
  Peter!
Peter: [trying not to cry] I'm here man!"
Roger: Don't do it until you are sure I am coming back! I'm gonna
  try... Not To... I'm gonna try not to come back. I'm gonna try...
  Not to...
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Stephen: We've got to find more fuel. Maybe closer to Cleveland.
Roger: No, We've got to stay out of the big cities. If they're
  anything like Philly, We may never get out alive.
Peter: We may never get out of anyplace alive. We almost didn't get
  out of here.
Roger: We're gettin' out of here fine. As long as there's not to many
  of those things, we can handle 'em easy.
Peter: Yeah, well it wasn't one of those things that nearly blew me
  away.
Roger: We gotta stay in the sticks. There's bound to be more little
  private airports upstate.
Stephen: There's the locks along the Allgheny. There are fuel
  stations there, private and state.
Roger: No, those are probably still manned, we don't need those
  hassles either.
Stephen: They're just after scavengers and looters.
Peter: Oh, you got papers for this limousine?
Stephen: I've got GON I.D. So does Fran.
Peter: Right, and we're up here doin' traffic reports! Wake up,
  sucker! We're thieves and we're bad guys is what we are. We gotta
  find our own way.

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[After avoiding a bunch of the zombies]
Roger: Well, we're in, but how the hell are we gonna get back!
Peter: Who the hell cares! let's go shopping!
Roger: Watches! Watches!
Peter: Wait a minute man, let's just get the stuff we need. I'll get
  a television and a radio.
Roger: Ooohh, ooohh, lighter fluid! And chocolate, chocolate. [he
  runs down a clothing aisle] Hey, how about a mink coat!

Roger: Hey, man, we can't carry all this shit.
[Peter wheels a gardening cart up with all of their supplies]
Roger: Oh, I see, we're just gonna wheel right by 'em, right?
Peter: We're gonna try, brother. We ain't doin' this for the
  exercise, so we might as well try to get what we can.
Roger: No way this is gonna happen.

Roger: Peter, where are you?
Peter: I'm right here, man.
Roger: Hey, we did it, didn't we? We whipped 'em, didn't we?
Peter: That's right, man.
Roger: Didn't we... Didn't we whip 'em?
Peter: We sure did, buddy.
Roger: We whipped 'em and we got it ALL!

Roger: Aww god! Oh Jesus Christ!
Peter: What is it!
Roger: My bag! I left my goddamn bag in the other truck!
Peter: All right, trooper, you better screw your head on.
Roger: Yeah, yeah, yeah, c'mon, c'mon c'mon, let's go!
Peter: [Grabbing him by the collar] I mean it! Now you're not just
  playin' with your life, you're playin' with mine! Now... Are you
  straight?
Roger: Yeah.

Roger: [to Peter] Man, a lot of people are running... I could run...
  I could run tonight. A friend of mine, he's got a helicopter, asked
  me to come with him. Do you think it's right to run?

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  greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or
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LeninaHuxley: I have, in fact, perused some newsreels in the
  Schwartzenegger Library.
JohnSpartan: Hold it. The Schwartzenegger Library?
LeninaHuxley: Yes. The Schwartzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't
  he an actor when you...
JohnSpartan: But how? He was President?
LeninaHuxley: Yes! Even though he wasn't born in this country, his
  popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...
JohnSpartan: I don' wanna know. President.

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[Richard gives Bunny a personality test]
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  enough to get it, my hair is naturally natural, I live alone... and
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Bunny Watson: No... (chewing)... Tough roast beef.

Peg Costello: The traditional Thanksgiving song? One of them is "Over
  the River and Through the Woods"!
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# Devdas (2002)
Devdas Mukherjee: You said leave the house, everybody said leave
  Paro, Paro said leave the alcohol. One day He will say leave the
  world.


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# Dick Tracy vs. Cueball (1946)
Dick Tracy: Where have you been?
Pat Patton: If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
Dick Tracy: Well, don't tell me.
Pat Patton: I'll tell you anyway.

Pat Patton: I called Sparkle's house.
Dick Tracy: Did you say who you were?
Pat Patton: No! Do you think I'm that dumb?
Dick Tracy: Well, we won't go into that.

Simon Little: Why you-you fool! You big, stupid, blundering fool!
Harry 'Cueball' Lake: Shaddup!
Simon Little: You killed him... you murdered Abbott! Why did you kill
  him? Why? Why?
Harry 'Cueball' Lake: 'Cause he was gonna plug me. Okay. I got the
  diamonds - where's my dough?
Simon Little: Keep the diamonds... go to the chair with them. I won't
  touch them.
Harry 'Cueball' Lake: You rat!


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[The second Doctor tries to get into U.N.I.T. headquarters]
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[K-9 senses danger]
K-9: And... the Doctor is involved.
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[last lines]
Tegan: You mean you're deliberately choosing to go on the run from
  your own people, in a rackety old TARDIS?
The Doctor (Doctor #5): Why not? After all, that's how it all
  started.

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# Don't Look Back! (2003)
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# Dondi (1961)
[talking about Dondi]
Liz: How many people do you know can cross the Atlantic with only a
  hunk of Salmi as baggage?

Dealey: What do you say we stop all this tree-trimming jazz and hit
  the road to town?
Peewee: Oh now, Dealey, you know how I promised Mama about Christmas.
  YOu see, while she's trimming her tree in Peoria, I'm trimming mine
  right here. It's almost as if we're together!

Dondi: Goshers! Chow! Is sure smelling good, Mr. Dealey-Buddy. Is
  tasting good, too?

Perky: The kid needs a mother. Every kid needs a mother. Somebody to
  take his troubles to, or somebody to hear his prayers.
Peewee: Well, he could always bring his troubles to me. I'd be glad
  to hear his prayers. I like prayers.
Sammy Boy: You can't be no mother, Peewee. Mothers is female!

[Dondi is praying]
Dondi: I wish you make them let me stay in America, Mr. Big-Buddy,
  please.
Liz: Dondi's talking to the most influential friend of all!


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Middlesex Student 1: Mom said the school is closed today because it's
  flooded, and there's fescies everywhere!
Middlesex Student 2: What are fescies?
Middlesex Student 1: Baby mice.
Middlesex Student 2&3: Awwww...

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Donner: You're a fucking vampire! You suck the life out of everything
  you touch!

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Ashley: I swear to God and the Virgin Mary, even though shes really
  good in bed, that I will never take a meat beat again.
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# Duma amerikanskie (2004) (V)
Irina: It is six thousand miles to America. It shouldn't be six
  thousand years.

Irina: Look at all these statues!
Nikolai: You should never need this many Lenins to run a country.

Zhanna: I do not think my teacher would let me out of class to begin
  a revolution.


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[To the dogs in his van]
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  although slow and dangerous behind the wheel - can still serve a
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  rational... then raging and stamping like a - like the ringmaster
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  like a - like a schoolboy. Bormann... hmph... a vulture, perched in
  the corner, watching, listening, never speaking. And Mussolini -
  Mussolini! - an automaton, Radl! And I looked round that room, and
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Heinrich Himmler: So you see... Radl. Under the terms of that
  document, even I find myself under your personal command!

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Customer: Really? Stomach cramps? But it's such a good buy.
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Paul: A hundred-and-seventy-five-dollar-a-month rent increase! How
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Mary: Don't worry. We can live on your insta-cash card for a month or
  so.
Paul: Don't you remember? It was canceled for non-payment.
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Mary: He was a man. Now he's just a bag of garbage.
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Mary: At the store, can you buy a new frying pan? I'm a little
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Paul: Why don't you go to bed, honey? I'll bag the Nazi and
  straighten up.

Mary: Why should we give up any of that money? We had to kill two
  people to get it!
Raoul: You killed two people for less than a thousand dollars?
Mary: ...One of them shortchanged us.

266660a269686,269709
Eddie: The Heimlich maneuver, developed by doctor Heimlich, who woke
  up one night obviously - a fist, a hand, hoocha, hoocha, hoocha...
  lobster. Yes, [in German accent] Hilda, Hilda, wake up! [in German
  accent] Ah, what is it doctor Heimlich? [in German accent] Why are
  you calling me doctor Heimlich, I am your husband for fuck¥s sake.
  Loosen up, don't be so fucking Prussian. [in German accent] Well,
  what is it Gunther? [in German accent] I have invented a
  maneuver... [in German accent] What are you, a bloody tank
  commander now?

Eddie: And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting
  night-time telly sort of way.

Eddie: [about Stonehenge] "Building a henge, are we? Oh yes, lovely
  religion the druids. I love the beards." And then they'd drop the
  huge stones down onto some logs. "Help you push it along? It's not
  far, is it?" And the druids are saying, "Heave, heave, well done
  everyone. You'll love it when you see it, I've seen some of the
  drawings." 200 Miles later. You fucking bastard! You never said it
  would be this far! Two hundred miles in this day and age? I don't
  even know where I live any more! And the druids are there tinkering
  around. "Ok, this stone and that one there, can we swap them
  round?"

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[Rosy tells Tom of her first encounter with Eegah]
Tom Nelson: Honest, Roxy, I believe you! I swear on my Elvis Presley
  LP.

[staring at a huge divot in the sand]
Roxy Miller: What is that?
: I don't know. It looks like a footprint.
Roxy Miller: It is a footprint! There's the heel and there's the toe.

Tom Nelson: I can drive, Mr. Miller. I have my dad's wheels tonight.
: Really? Do they fit on your car?

: He's offering you a drink of sulphur water.
Roxy Miller: A prehistoric gentleman, huh?

[Roxy goes to a party, but is too distressed to enjoy it]
: You know, I think she's still worried about Eegah.
Tom Nelson: Oh sure, a girl like Roxy don't get over a thing like
  that right away.

[Roxy is still worried about Eegah]
Roxy Miller: Dad, I can't describe it, but I know something has
  happened to him. He's a creature - why, you just have to look at
  him to see that. But I know, whatever he is, he's a human being.

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Girl: Prince Charmont actually stepped on these tiles!
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Tour Guide: Girls! Stop tonguing the floor!
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Girl: Prince Charmont, are you a fast runner?
Char: Not particularly, no. Why?
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Char: Ella of Frell you're not like other girls.
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Char: Yes, I saw that as you were hovering a boiling cauldron.
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Girl #1: He tried to kill Prince Char!
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Hester: Oh no.
[Char's fan club start beating him up]
Hester: Ow!
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Char: I have many.
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Char: I'm kidding, you shouldn't believe everything you read in
  Medieval Teen.
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Ella: My step-sister Hattie would die if she knew I was here.
Char: Hattie. Is that her name? Now I know what name to put on the
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Orge: How would you like to be eaten? Baked? Boiled?
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Char: Well let me see, so far the score is chivalry two, gratitude
  zero.
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Char: Ella tell me how you really feel about me.
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[a bunch of other girls are cheering for Prince Charmont]
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Bug Bunny: Look at him stuffing himself while poor little rabbits lie
  out here starving!

Bugs Bunny: What's this?
Elmer Fudd: Your dinner.
Bugs Bunny: My what? My dinner! What do you think I am... a rabbit?
  I'll starve before I eat this stuff. You'll be sorry... starving a
  little gray rabbit! This is terrible! Me eating this stuff! How do
  you expect me to stomach this stuff?

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Danilov: On this day, September 20th 1942, a young shepherd boy from
  the Urals arrived in the city of Stalingrad on the banks of the
  Volga. His name is Vassilij Zaitzev. Like thousands before him he
  came to answer comrade Stalin's call. Armed only with a rifle, he
  quickly made the fascist invader realise that from now on he would
  be punished for every step he took in the motherland, that from
  here on the only way was back.

Vassilij: Shouldn't we try and make the point that I'm not the only
  one fighting?
Danilov: That's an excellent idea. We can take it even further
  though. Your battle for the production of coal is as worthy as
  mine. There's no 'k' in coal. Just one 'l'. Tell me if I'm going
  too fast.
Vassilij: No, you're not going too fast. Is there any other
  improvements?
Mrs. Filipov: Why don't you get some rest? These letters can wait
  until tomorrow.
Vassilij: We should carry on. We're not tired. Thank you, Mrs
  Filipov. These people took the trouble to write to us. Tomorrow we
  might not be around to write back.

Vassilij: He doesn't know you exist, but at that moment you're closer
  to him than anyone else on earth. You see his face through the
  sign. You see whether he shaved or not. You can see whether he's
  married if he's got a wedding ring. It's not like firing at a
  distant shape. It's not just a uniform. It's a man's face. Those
  faces don't go away. They come back and they get replaced by more
  faces.

Tania: I knew you weren't dead.
Vassilij: How?
Tania: Because we've only just met. I prayed for the first time since
  I was a little girl. When I opened my eyes Sacha was standing there
  waiting to give me the good news. I think he loves you even more
  than I do.

Vassilij: Tania, no!
Tania: No, get off me. Get off me!
Vassilij: It's what he wants. This is what he wants.
Tania: Get off me! Let me go!
Vassilij: No! He'll kill you. He'll kill you and when I get after you
  he'll kill me too. This is what he wants. I'll get him. I promise
  I'll get him. I'll get his rifle for you, I promise, Tania.

Vassilij: Ludmilla and Anton were killed today. And it was my fault.
Danilov: No, I'm sure that's not true.
Vassilij: It was a German sniper. I walked them right into his trap.
Danilov: What else can you tell me?
Vassilij: He didn't relocate. A sniper who doesn't relocate isn't
  normal. He was very good. It wasn't just his shooting, it was his
  instinct. He was a step ahead of me all the time.
Danilov: That's because he knows everything about you. His name is
  Konig. Major Konig. They've sent them here to find you.

271716a274859,274862
# Err On the Side of Caution (1997)
Clay Palmer: Lewis, stop dancin' with me!


272281a275428,275432
Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel
  trapped because that's what I do.
Joel: Okay.

275496c278647
Kate: [sexy] Hardware. I was hoping to demo your unit.
275499c278650
Kate: No one tried to kill me! This is Miami. I'm local. We only
275507c278658
Max Kilpatric: No. What?
275512a278664,278692
[Rosa is bringing in a Caffe Romano pizza]
: Hey, babe! If you were Dominos, I'd get a discount.
Rosa: If I were Dominos, you'd still be alive. [Shoots him]

[Max is on the phone with a convenience store clerk and Ilya Kazak]
Max Kirkpatrick: Why don't you drop that bullshit American accent.
Ilya Kazak: [sounding American] I don't know what you mean.
Max Kirkpatrick: Dosvedanya, Asshole!
: Dosve... WHAT!
Ilya Kazak: [normal voice] Dosvedanya, Asshole?
: Yo, fuck YOU! [hangs up]
Ilya Kazak: Clever BASTARD! [hangs up]

[Max has called his cousin Jodi and got the answering machine]
Ilya Kazak: [on the machine] Hello. You have reached the number of
  Detective Kirkpatrick's nosey relative. Cousin Jodi cannot answer
  the phone right now, but if you wish to leave a message, please
  contact your nearest psychic.
[scream from Jodi, gunshot]
Ilya Kazak: Dosvedanya to you, ASSHOLE!

Hacker: I can't believe it. They used their cellphone. It's like
  painting a huge bullseye on your ass!

[Rosa and Max are fighting on the beach. Rosa just kicked him in the
  groin]
Rosa: Ahh. Did I hurt you? Poor baby. Let Mommy kick it for you and
  make it BETTER! [kicks him again]

275946a279127,279133
[Bill Foster exits his car in the middle of the highway]
Guy on Freeway: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Bill Foster: I'm going home!

[Foster has just attacked the gang members on the hill]
Bill Foster: Clear a path! I'm going home!

277231c280418
George: And don't forget to fasten your condoms... Seatbelts, I mean
277234c280421
[It begins to snow]
277274a280462,280472
[at a supermarket]
George: I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs
  and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot
  dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying
  for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns.
  Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the
  wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun
  company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they
  think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will
  pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink.

278075a281274,281275
Detective Mike Reilly: He tortures them until they beg to die.

280992c284192
Billy Hitchcock: Stay below the speed limit. And, oh: don't pass on
280994c284194
Carter: Wait a minute. I'm havin' a vision here.
280997,280998c284197,284198
Billy Hitchcock: Hey, man. Why'd you say something like that?
Carter: Because if you don't shut up, *I'm* gonna fuckin' kill you!
281004,281006c284204,284207
Alex: [In the Carter's car with him, Clear and Billy] "You think it's
  gonna make it easier to know, Carter?"
[Everyone looks at him]
Alex: "It's not. It's gonna make it fuckin' harder."
287283a290485,290488
Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the
  ENDLESS WAVES OF WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOENAILS WHILE
  YOU SLEEP!

288170c291375
Jack: OK, maybe I overanalyze things. You know why I do that?
288172c291377
Nick: Why does everyone think I'm paranoid? Do you discuss this
288182a291388,291391
[changing her mind about hiding her new snake from her ex-husband]
Anne Callan: I'll tell you what - to hell with Nick. Tell him it's a
  goddamn boa-constrictor.

288227a291437
[at Gareth's funeral]
288236c291446
  enough to ring me and let me know that you loved him, which I know
288245,288246c291455,291456
  turned out... and jolly bugger most of us ever met! As for me, you
  may ask how I will remember him; what I thought of him.
295380,295385c298590,298595
  Raisinetts is NOT a major purchase. Get some fucking cash together.
  Nobody should be paying the bank eighteen percent interest on
  Tic-Tacs. Some goofy looking prick with a fanny pack waiting to be
  approved for a bag of Cheese Doodles. Get some fucking money. Next
  guy in front of me that pays for Newsweek with a credit card is
  getting stabbed in the eyes!
295450,295454c298660,298664
George Carlin: About this time, someone is telling you to get on the
  plane. "Get on the plane. Get on the plane." I say, "fuck you, I'm
  getting IN the plane! IN the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the
  plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be
  less WIND in here!"
298713a301924,301949
Jason: Hey, diss me or whatever, but, I got three sisters, and
  nothing quite takes the edge off like a good toke.
Ginger: Well, maybe I like my edge. Thanks.
Jason: Or maybe you're just chicken to lose it.

Pamela: (brings cake in) Ginger's very favorite. Congratulations
  sweetie. You know you can ask me anything.
Ginger: (points at Brigitte) You're so dead.
Brigitte: I didn't.
Pamela: Our little girl's a young woman now.

Brigitte: I'd never tell her anything.
Ginger: Unless you wanted to piss me off!

Ginger: Get the fuck outta the bathroom! I'm trying to get ready!

Trina: Hey, why don't you get your slut-bitch sister a leash.

[Jason and Ginger are about to have sex]
Jason: Don't we need protection? (Ginger pushes Jason and viciously
  rips open his shirt) Stop! Wait a second.
Ginger: You're fucking hilarious cave-boy.

[Sam is stoned, and has just ran over the werewolf]
Sam: Oh, fuck me.

298716,298719c301952,302070
Ginger: We can't fight what's in us, B.
Brigitte: I'm not like you, Ginger... I'm stronger.
Ginger: [laughs] Oh really? That's not how I remember you the first
  fifteen years of your life.
Brigitte: It's how I remember the last fifteen minutes of yours.

Jeremy: I'm onto you. [Brigitte looks up at him before going back to
  her book - he takes one off the shelf and pretends to read it] You
  come in here late at night, you stay until all the other avid
  readers are gone. You're attracted to me but you fear rejection. So
  you bide your time just kind of waiting for that perfect moment.
  [slams book shut] Don't worry, I've been dealing with this all my
  life... I'm kidding.
Brigitte: [half smiles, gets to feet, and gets her book together.
  Walks past him] Your fly's open.

Dr. Brookner: Brigitte, you have a room of people pretty curious
  about Brigitte.
Beth-Ann: And incidently, a room full of people who think you really
  suck at suicide. [Brigitte glances at the cuts on her left arm and
  then pulls up her sleeve]
Dr. Brookner: What's your best-case scenario, hmm? Go there.
Brigitte: My best-case scenario, Eleanor, is hair everywhere but my
  eyeballs, elongation of my spine until my skin splits, teats, and a
  growing tolerance, maybe even affection for, the smell and taste of
  feces - not just my own - and then, excruciating death.

Koral: Dr. Brookner, if she doesn't shut up, I swear I'll make her
  drink her piss... again.

Beth-Ann: PING! [throws penny at Ghost's head and laughs, everyone
  else joins in]
Girl: This is getting so boring.
Beth-Ann: It's an ancient game, the throwing of pennies at the local
  moron or midget!
Brigitte: I can't see the TV [laughing and throwing continues] I said
  I can't see the TV! [grabs Beth-Ann and slams her into a wall]
  Would you like me to throw YOU at her head?

Ghost: Do you turn at the full moon?
Brigitte: You watch too many horror movies.
Ghost: I'm not allowed to watch horror movies, or technically, to
  read comics. Or eat gluten - I'm too impressionable.
Brigitte: Why does that not surprise me?
Ghost: Well, not the gluten thing - that's just digestive.

Brigitte: [looking at elongated ear in mirror, moves back to show
  Ginger sitting on a chair] Ginger?
Ginger: We really need to talk. These last few days, I've been
  feeling very left out, watching you hang out with all your cool,
  new friends.
Brigitte: It's starting.
[Isabelle, Katharine@Ginger}: So it is. Well, you have two options
  then, don't you? Either give in, or give up. [Disappears, but voice
  remains]It only dies if you do.
Brigitte: I'm not gonna die.

Ginger: You're starting to understand, aren't you? How it all starts
  with wanting? What were you thinking when he was in that stall with
  you? Because even I - really - was shocked.
Brigitte: I -
Ginger: [Mimicking Brigitte] I wanted the monkshood.
Brigitte: I just -
Ginger: [mimicking] I just - [frowns] I mean, what did you want when
  he was pushing up against you? You're starting to figure it out,
  aren't you? How it all starts innocently enough, today you wanna to
  fuck him - tomorrow you just wanna bite a hole in his sternum.

Ghost: So was that the one that bit you?
Brigitte: I wasn't bit, my sister was. And no, it wasn't the same
  one.
Ghost: Well - Well, where did it come from? The infinite darkness?
Brigitte: I don't think so, Ghost... I don't like the suburbs.
Ghost: If you weren't bit, then -
Brigitte: I infected myself with her blood. I thought I cuold make
  her stop if I was like her.
Ghost: I always wanted a sister. Where is she now?
Brigitte: She isn't, I stopped her.
Ghost: You killed your own sister?
Brigitte: There wasn't much of Ginger left in what I killed.
Ghost: So - So what'd you use? A silver bullet?
Brigitte: A knife. They're not superheroes, Ghost.

Ghost: I got chips. Alice says chips don't fall in to one of the four
  food groups. One of her many lives. You still eat chips, right?
Brigitte: It's happening too fast. I need the monkshood. [Ghost holds
  up a vial of monkshood] Where's the needle?
Ghost: ...Oh crap.

Ghost: It's gonna find, you isn't it? You know the fact that it
  didn't kill you tonight... that means something. Maybe he's like
  you, and it's not in his nature to kill, and he secretly wants -
Brigitte: Ghost, he wants to mate with me.
Ghost: Oh...
Brigitte: Don't try too hard to visualize that.

Brigitte: My sister and I shared a room.
Ghost: A sleepover every night.
Brigitte: Kind of.
Ghost: Do you miss her?
Brigitte: All the time.

Tyler: So this is home, huh, Ghost?... Kind of has the Manson family
  charm.

Tyler: She realized of course, she'd have to go back to the clinic.
Ghost: You realize of course that you're speaking in the third
  person. It's a little weird. And I'm aware of no such thing.
Tyler: What if I said I missed you?
Ghost: "His words were empty, just like his head."

Ghost: [Firing shotgun] Go back to the darkness!
Alice: Ghost? You shot at me! What the hell?

Brigitte: [referring to the gas igniting] How long will it take?
Ghost: Barbara took about twenty-seven minutes...

Written on psychologist's notepad after Brigitte explains her
  lycanthropic transformation: Lesbian?
298837a302189,302193
Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.

298844a302201,302203
Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bod? [hits Klitz]
  This fucker right here.

298846a302206,302300
Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Matt: A tripod?
Ei: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs,
  we all come falling down.

Mrs. Kidman: Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

Matthew: Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to
  think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically
  being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it
  differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing
  you really care about. That one special thing that means more to
  you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you
  fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything,
  your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't
  so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart
  you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral
  fiber's all about.

Matthew: Hey, there's the big daddy!
Dr. Salinger: Matthew, what has been going on?
Matthew: Some serious shit.

Matthew: [high] Heyyy, it's my competition! Ryan, what's up my man?
Ryan: Jesus, what happened to you?
Matthew: Just living life, my man.

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do
  something bad.
Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
Kelly: This is politics.

Kelly: You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of
  politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know
  what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're
  ready to accept the consequences.

Kelly: If I'm going to do this for you, I'm gonna need a show of good
  faith.
Matt: Look, I told you, she's not doing that anymore.
Kelly: Who said anything about her?
Matt: Are you serious? (Kelly unzips his pants, then starts
  laughing.)
Kelly: Dude! I'm joking... do I look gay to you?

Kelly: If I'm gonna do this payment plan thing, I'm need a show of
  good faith, you know, something concrete.
Matthew: Like what?
Kelly: A blow job.

Kelly: Stay in school!

Matthew: I just wanna let you know, I know who you are, and you're
  better than this.

Matthew: What happened?
Klitz: It got bad.

Kelly: Friends don't fuck with each other's business.

Eli: God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!

Kelly: Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly: Always leave 'em wanting more.

Eli: I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom!

Danielle: [repeated line] Just go with it.

Danielle: Ooh, boxers.
Matthew: I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day.

Danielle: [repeated line] What's the craziest thing you've done
  lately?

Matthew: Oh my god, she's so hot.
Eli: What channel, dude?

Matt: Ohmigod, she's so hot!
Eli: What channel?

Matthew: Do you have the fever?
Klitz: No. Why? Do you?
Matthew: I don't know. Maybe. [turns to Eli] 'Bout you?
Eli: I just gotta fuck something.

[Upon observing the cheerleaders and football players]
Kelly: Let me tell you, Matt, you got some incredible talent here. If
  I could get these kids, like, humping in the library or at a
  football game - WOW! Now that shit would sell. I don't know where I
  get my ideas from, you know, it's like a gift or something. It's
  like I can't control it.

298894,298895c302348,302349
Daisy: You're just jealous, Lisa... because I got better... because I
  was released... because I have a chance... at a life.
298897,298908c302351,302362
  gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying
  your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin'
  chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer? You changed the
  scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house
  calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you.
  What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.

Janet: I want my fucking clothes!
Valerie: Then you'll have to eat something, won't you?
Janet: [singing] Oh Lordy, pick a bale o' cotton / Oh Lordy, pick a
  bale o' hay / Gotta jump down spin around pick a bale o' cotton /
  Jump down spin around, pick a bale o' hay...
298913,298914c302367,302368
Susanna: Toby.
Janet: He's dead now.
298919,298921c302373,302375
Daisy: Everyone likes to be alone when it comes out. I like to be
  alone when it goes in. To me, the cafeteria is like being with
  twenty girls all at once taking a dump.
298929,298930c302383,302384
Susanna: You know, taking us for ice creams in a blizzard... makes
  you wonder who the real whack jobs are.
298955,298959c302409,302418
Susanna: [narrating] When you don't want to feel... death can seem
  like a dream. But, seeing death - really seeing it... makes
  dreaming about it fucking ridiculous.

Valerie: You know, I can take a lot of crazy shit from a lot of crazy
  people - but you... you are *not* crazy.
Susanna: Then what's wrong with me, huh? What the fuck is going on
  inside my head? Tell me, *Dr. Val*. What's your diag-nonsense?
Valerie: You are a lazy, self-indulgent *little girl*, who is driving
  herself crazy.
298977,298978c302436,302437
Dr. Crumble: Susanna, four days ago... you chased a bottle of
  aspirin, with a bottle of vodka.
298995,298997c302454,302456
Lisa: Take one fuckin' step and I'll jam this in my aorta.
[aiming a pen at her neck]
Valerie: Lisa, your aorta is in your chest.
299004,299006c302463,302465
Lisa: "Razors pain you, Rivers are damp... / Acids stains you, Drugs
  cause cramp. / Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give... / Gas smells
  awful, Ya might as well live."
299008,299009c302467,302468
Instructor: Now what kind of a tree can you be, Janet, down there on
  the floor?
299012c302471
Janet: That is not fair. That is not *fair*! That is *not fair*!
299015c302474
Susanna: I didn't try to kill myself.
299041c302500
Lisa: Playing the villain, baby, just like you want. I try to give
299044,299047c302503,302510
Lisa: You wanted your file, I found you your file. You wanted out, I
  got you out. You needed *money*, *I* found you some. I'm fucking
  consistent-I told you the truth-I didn't write it down in a
  *fucking book*! I told you to your *face*. And I told Daisy to her
  face - what everybody knew and wouldn't say, and she killed
  herself. And I played the fucking villain, just like you wanted.
Susanna: Why would I want that?
Lisa: Because it makes you the good guy, sweet pea.
299049,299051c302512,302513
Susanna: Everyone here is fucking crazy!
Dr. Potts: You want to go home.
299068c302530,302532
Susanna: You don't want me, Tony.
Tony: Yes I do, baby.
Susanna: No, you don't. I'm... a crazy girl.
299070,299071c302534,302535
Susanna: I am a crazy girl. Seriously.
Tony: You've been in a hospital?
299073,299076c302537,302539
Tony: Do you see purple people? My friend, he saw purple people. And
  so the state came and took him away. He didn't like that. Some time
  went by and, and he told 'em he didn't see purple people no more.
299083,299086c302546,302549
  ther-rapist, sweet pea. Unless, ah... unless they're givin' you
  shocks. Or god forbid lettin' you out. Then you get to see the
  great wonderful Dr. Dyke.
Margie: She means Dr. Wick.
299089a302553
M.G.: Wick's a chick...
299091c302555
Georgina: Lisa? Is Daisy really getting out?
299093,299096c302557,302564
Susanna: But how could - I mean she's... *insane*.
Lisa: Yeah, well that's what ther-rape-me's all about. That's why
  fuckin' Freud's picture's on every shrink's wall. He created a
  fuckin' industry. You lie down, you confess your secrets and you're
  saved. Ca-ching! The more you confess, the more they think about
  settin' you free.
Susanna: But what if you don't have a secret?
Lisa: Then you're a lifer, like me.
299100c302568
Valerie: Good, 'cause it's the last time you're leaving the ward.
299102a302571,302595
Susanna: [reading from a book] "Borderline Personality Disorder. An
  instability of self-image, relationships and mood... uncertain
  about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging, such
  as casual sex."
Lisa: I like that.
Susanna: "Social contrariness and a generally pessimistic attitude
  are often observed." [pauses] Well that's me.
Lisa: That's everybody.

Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Dr. Wick: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong
  feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means
  "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests
  that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane... or, am I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be, dear - for some.
Susanna: Well, then - it's the wrong word.
Dr. Wick: No. I think it's perfect.

300057c303550
Dave Moss: Fuck the machine? Fuck the machine? FUCK THE MACHINE!
301740a305234,305249
# Gojira tai Hedora (1971)
Brother: Oh, you like Godzilla?
Ken Yano: Superman beats them all!

Dr. Yano: Do you know what a meteor is?
Ken Yano: Sure, it's a falling star that falls to earth.
Dr. Yano: Well, Hedorah (the Smog Monster) attached itself to one of
  those stars.

Dr. Yano: In each creature there's a weakness.
Ken Yano: Hedorah's only sludge... he can be dried.

[Godzilla and Hedorah battle it out on top of Mount Fuji]
Ken Yano: C'mon, Godzilla!


302378a305888,305909
# Goldwyn Follies, The (1938)
Oliver Merlin: I'm a producer of movies. I get my wagonloads of poets
  and dramatists, but I can't buy common sense - I cannot buy
  humanity!
Hazel Dawes: Well, I don't know why, Mr. Merlin. There's an awful lot
  of it.
Oliver Merlin: Yes, I know, but the moment I buy it, it turns into
  something else, usually genius, and it isn't worth a dime. Now, if
  you could stay just as simple as your are, you'd be invaluable to
  me. I'll put you on my staff. I'll give you a title, "Miss
  Humanity". Don't rush, you can finish your ice cream soda.

Danny Beecher: You live near here?
Hazel Dawes: Just down the street.
Danny Beecher: Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping for a long walk. But
  maybe you'd like to go exploring? I heard there's an ocean near
  here and we could sit on the beach and get sunburned.
Hazel Dawes: Tonight?
Danny Beecher: I'm sorry. With you, it seems like the sun *is*
  shining.


303638c307169
  sometimes... late at night... I find myself thinking... not about
303640c307171
  the same choice? I guess I'll always wonder... but I know I''ll
305104,305109c308635,308639
  gun dropped off; that's no reason to inflict her on us all. Mary...
  Tomorrow, I'll have breakfast in bed, and then get straight up into
  the tweeds. What shirt have you brought? Oh no dear no. No that's
  quite wrong. Always something very plain for shooting the one I
  wore today will do. Well you can wash it can't you?
305119c308649
[last lines]
305122c308652
Mary Maceachran: I know. And what purpose could it possibly serve?
305124c308654
[at the banquet dinner table]
305198c308728
Mary Maceachran: What was her family like?
305223,305225c308753,308756
Raymond Stockbridge: Well, I think it's ridiculous. I'm here to
  shoot.
Louisa Stockbridge: Darling, it's a relief for me to sit next someone
  who isn't deaf in one ear.
305228c308759
Mary Maceachran: Her Ladyship says Sir William loves his shooting.
305234a308766,308772
Morris Weissman: How do you manage these people?
Ivor Novello: Well, you forget, I make my living impersonating them.

Sylvia McCordle: What on earth are you wearing?
Isobel McCordle: Don't you like it? You bought it.
Sylvia McCordle: Did I? How extraordinary of me.

306044a309583,309603
[Lazlow finishes a conversation with a caller on Chatterbox]
Lazlow: This is really going nowhere. Do you have anything else to
  say?
Caller: Yes... FREE KEVIN!

[Reed Tucker is about to destroy a desk live on Chatterbox]
Lazlow: This desk is made of 2-inch thick composite wood and has a
  mahogany venear finish. It has three drawers and knowing this
  station, it cost $100. In his own words, Reed Tucker is about to
  smash it into two half desks. Take it away, Reeve.
Reed Tucker: Ladies and gentlemen, I've already visualized the desk
  in two half desks, and now I shall make it so... dragon stance...
  hii-YA! Ohhh, ow, oh Lazlow, Lazlow, I think I hurt my hand... my
  pinky's all bent the wrong way.
Lazlow: [mocking Reed] Listen, Karate Kid. The desk is still in one
  piece. Thanks for coming on the show!
Reed Tucker: Okay, Lazlow, mockery will get you nowhere. I think I
  might hit you now.
Lazlow: [mocking Reed] Oh, I bruise easily! Don't throw any tofu's or
  bean curds at me!

309232a312792,312799
[after being blown off by a girl at a club]
Dustin: Hold on, I'm gonna go get you another glass of bitch.

Eric: Could you just tell Jimmy we dropped by?
Tour Manager: You know... I could. But I just don't want to and, um,
  there doesn't seem to be much of a way around so maybe you can just
  go away. Go on.

313008a316576,316580
# Hansel & Gretel (2002)
Hansel: My rock collection, remember?
Wood Farie: That's the oldest trick in the book!


313330a316903,316908
# Happy Hour (2003)
Levine: I don't suppose she has a sister.
Tulley: Three brothers.
Levine: I can't catch a break. What's her mother like?


313480a317059,317065
George: That's not your grandfather.
Paul: It is, you know.
George: But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
Paul: Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather, too.
John: How do you reckon that one out?
Paul: Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they?

313488c317073
Ringo: But -
313517c317102
[Huge stacks of fan mail is delivered]
313524c317109
Ringo: Aw... you pick on your own.
313526c317111
[After Ringo gets a pile of fan mail]
313570c317155
  it all now... It's a plot... a plot.
313615c317200
[Ringo is getting his hair done and reading a magazine]
313618c317203
Paul: Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt... Zap!
313680c317265
John: Hey he's reading the Queen... that's an in joke, you know.
313693a317279,317308
Grandfather: Well, you got me here so do your worst, but by God, I'll
  take one of you with me! I know your game. Get me into that tiled
  room and then out come the rubber hoses!
Police Inspector: Oh, there's a fire, is there?
Grandfather: You ugly, great brute. You have sadism stamped all over
  your bloated British kisser!
Police Inspector: Eh?
Grandfather: I'll go on hunger strike! I know your caper. The kidney
  punch and the rabbit clout. The third degree and the size twelve
  boot ankle tap.
Police Inspector: What's he on about?
Grandfather: I'm a soldier for the Republic! You'll need the mahogany
  truncheons on this boyo.

[Grandfather and Ringo are held in a police station]
Grandfather: Have they roughed you up yet?
Ringo: What?
Grandfather: Oh, they're a desperate crew of drippings, and they've
  fists like mature hams for pounding poor defenseless lads like you.
  One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on, son, I'll
  be back here.
Ringo: For me?
Grandfather: And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your
  brisket.
Ringo: They seem all right to me.
Grandfather: Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All
  coppers are villains.
Police Inspector: Would you two like a cup of tea?
Grandfather: See, *sly* villains.

313907a317523,317525
[Storm has just killed Capt. Hulland]
Mason Storm: Now you're a good cop.

315173a318792,318795
# Harry and Max (2004)
Harry: Do to me what you did to Max.


315587a319210,319216
# Haseena Maan Jaayegi (1999)
[about money they have blackmailed from their father]
Sonu: Is this enough?
Monu: So what if it isn't? We will just put in another coin and get
  some more.


315622c319251
Singing Busts: "Coming round the mountain when she comes..."
315638a319268,319274
Madame Leota: You must obtain new sight!
Jim: I think I must obtain new underwear!

[to a ghost]
Jim: You wanna kill me? Fine, go ahead and kill me. I'll just be over
  there on the other side kickin' your ass for all eternity.

317512a321149,321150
Tommy: Eve just wanted to know shit.

317950c321588
Hellboy: What landed you this job, pushing "pamcakes"?
317962,317963c321600,321601
Hellboy: Well let's see - there was that moment, when I had the train
  on top of my head...
317966a321605,321606
Hellboy: Mmmm... nachos!

321159c324799
[Picking up the hitchhiker]
321165c324805
  out back. So... what planet are you from?
321179c324819
John Ryder: Sure it was. He couldn't have walked very far.
321181,321182c324821,324822
John Ryder: Because I cut off his legs... and his arms... and his
  Head. And I'm going to do the same to you.
321299c324939
Emily: Thakary Binx, what took thee so long?
321301c324941
  virgin to light a candle.
321330c324970
Max: Let's light this sucker and meet the old broads.
321332c324972
Max: [Over P.A] Welcome to High School Hell. I'm your host, Boris
322805a326446
: Gee, you're the biggest cow I've ever seen!
322807c326448
: Uh...
322809c326450
: Mom!
322813,322815c326454,326457
: Maybe they jus' didn't like yer singin'?
Alameda Slim: [anger steadily rising] Singin'? BIRDS sing. SALOON
  GIRLS sing. LITTLE SNOT-NOSED CHILDREN sing. I YODEL, AND
  YODELIN'... IS... AN ART!
322820c326462
Maggie: [to Buck] Well, if it isn't the Phony Express.
322836c326478,326479
Mrs. Calloway: Ladies, be careful. The male of the species can be
  very aggressive.
322842a326486,326502
Jake: Hey! Jump back, kiss myself!

Maggie: Last one sleeps standing up.

Maggie: You go, cow girl.

Buck: Say, girls... got milk?

Audrey: You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!

Mrs. Calloway: Maggie, may I be frank?
Maggie: Only if you let me wear the hat.

Grace: This is an organic problem, and it requires a holistic
  solution.
Jeb: You don't get this whole farm thing, do you?

324111c327771
  human life - proteins, fats, sugars and so forth. But since his
324115c327775
Dr. Gavin: Human blood. If a human body - a drowned person - were
324120,324121c327780,327781
Dr. Gavin: No - it's still alive. But it's changed into a - well, is
  it a plant or an animal?
324124a327785,327798
[a teenage couple embrace on the beach]
Girl: Johnny, I never let anyone kiss me like this before!
Irving: My name's not Johnny.
Girl: Well, what is it?
Irving: Irving!
Girl: Irving? [she resumes her sexy voice] What's in a name?

Girl: Do you believe that kissing is unhealthy?
Boy: I don't know. I've never been...
Girl: [interrupting] You've never been kissed?
Boy: No, I've never been sick.

Eulabelle: It's the voodoo, Dr. Gavin. It's the voodoo, I tells ya!

324375c328049
[Jessica (Clive) to Jake while calling for April]
324408c328082
Jessica/Clive: Well, THAT was an ordeal... Is there any ice in here?
324421a328096,328106
April: Ok, let's make a list of all the people that hate Jessica.
Lulu: You know what would be a shorter list? All the people that
  don't hate Jessica.
Jessica: You bitch!

Madam Mambuza: Stop banging on the drums!
Bongo Player: I'm sorry, I didn't know you could hear that.

Jessica Spencer/Clive Maxtone: You're the only boy who makes my heart
  beat faster and slower at the same time.

324881a328567,328568
Iraqi Boat Captain: [as his men leave] Kareem of onion! Al Jarreau!

326671a330359,330360
Tony: Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.

326883c330572
Howard T. Duck: On my planet, we don't say die, we say... HEY! NOT MY
326911a330601,330604
Dr. Jenning: There's something inside me, gnawing at my guts...
  what's wrong with me?
Beverly: Well... what did you have for lunch?

327577a331271,331328
# Hunchback of Notre Dame II, The (2002) (V)
[repeated line]
Sarousch: Lovely...

Sarousch: Lovely... I'm rich! Rich! I wonder if they make diamond
  underwear.

Esmeralda: Zephyr, you need to slow down.
Zephyr [really slow]: Okay, Mom...

Zephyr: Yuck.
Quasimodo: Yeah. Yuck.

Sarousch: What are you doing?
Madellaine: Just standing here and looking pretty.

Madellaine: He is NOT a monster, and I am NOT your trinket!

Hugo: I hope it's not contagious!

Hugo: And what's the bell... without the bell ringer?

Phoebus: A string of robberies every time a circus comes to town.
  Coincidence? I don't think so. How many times have I ever been
  wrong?
[Achilles neighs, and counts on his hoof]
Phoebus: Achilles... that was a rhetorical question.

Phoebus: How many times has this happened to me?
[Achilles counts on his hoof]
Phoebus: Rhetorical!

[to Quasimodo]
Madellaine: You have a way with kids.

Sarousch: What do you think will go better with my eyes? Sapphires or
  diamonds?

[Madellaine sneezes]
Gargoyles: Gesundheit!
Madellaine: Oh, thank you.
Hugo: You're welcome! [Laverne bonks him on the head] Ow!

Quasimodo: You saw the way she looked at me.
Laverne: Well, get her to look again, kid!
Quasimodo: Do you believe in miracles?
Laverne: Miracles? I don't know what you're saying, Quasi. What kind
  of miracles?
Quasimodo: Oh, just plain, ordinary miracles. They happen every day!

Laverne: Go on out there, kid!
Quasimodo: I-I-I can't!
Hugo: Sure, you can!
Victor: Open your mouth! Something will come out!
[Quasimodo stutters]
Hugo: Nothing came out!


328186a331938,331966
# Hurry Sundown (1967)
Rose Scott: Sometin's ailin' you, Reeve.
Reeve Scott: No, Mama.
Rose Scott: Well, sometin's hasn't changed you mood since breakfast.
  Tell me.
Reeve Scott: Mama, you better dan anyo' dat radar dey had out in de
  Souf Pacific.
Rose Scott: I don' know nothin' 'bout radar, but I know when
  sometin's plaguin' ma chile.

[Rose is expecting Julie to pay her a visit]
Rose Scott: Lor' Almighty, there she is!
[A black friend enters with her grandfather]
Reeve Scott: Shucks. An' we thought it was white folks!

[Rose and Julie converse while Julie's child rests in Rose's arms]
Julie Ann Warren: Ah declare, Rose. Ah never saw him take to anyone
  like he does to you.
Rose Scott: Chillun' know who loves 'em.
Julie Ann Warren: Oh sometimes, Rose, Ah think you just about
  invented love.

[The bigoted Judge Purcell rebukes a white lawyer for his help to the
  black defendant]
Judge Purcell: Don't you rattle your skeleton in my court! Your being
  here at all constitutes a treachery to the entire white community
  that's too colossal to be believed!


328770c332550
Cassandra: Still, better all that hurt than to have known no pain;
329466a333247,333268
# I'm All Right Jack (1959)
Windrush: [in induction program, Detto detergent factory] My aunt
  used Detto and she came out in an appalling rash.
Detto executive: Is that so? And I'll have you know my wife has
  always washed our baby's napkins in Detto and neither has shown the
  sign of a spot since birth.
Windrush: Of course, my aunt's rash was on her elbow.

Detto executive: With an attitude like that I not only see no future
  for you, but no future for us. You'd better go Mr Windrush. You are
  not the detergent type.

Kite: My daughter, Cynthia. She works 'ere in the factory. Spindle
  polishing.
Windrush: Oh, really? Perhaps I will take the room, Mr Kite.

Cynthia: [works canteen meeting - bored expression] What's 'e talkin'
  about, then?
Stanley: Commercial intercourse with foreigners.
Cynthia: [eyes light up - chews gum faster]


329495,329496c333297,333298
Car door alarm: Your door is ajar... please close the door... please
  close the door... I SAID CLOSE THE DOOR, DICKHEAD!
329505,329510c333307,333318
Flyguy: My bitch better have my money. / through rain, sleet or snow.
  / My whore better have my money, / not half, not some, but all my
  cash. / 'Cause if she don't, / I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

[Slammer and Hammer are in a gun fight with two white hoods]
Young hood: Hey, why are their guns bigger than ours?
Middle aged hood: I don't know! It's a black thing,I guess.

Mr. Big: I know you're surprised that a big Hollywood star like me
  would appear in this movie. A lot of Hollywood stars have done
  exploitation films; like Angie Dickinson in 'Big Bad Mama'.
Jack Slade: Or Shelly Winters in 'Cleopatra Jones'!
330094c333902
  some consideration... so much to do, there's only one thing to be
330109,330110c333917,333920
Tommy Trafford: Miss Mabel, I shall have something very particular I
  wish to say to you.
Mabel: When Tommy Trafford wants to be romantic, he talks to one just
  like a doctor.
330143,330144c333953,333954
Lord Arthur Goring: Ah, yes, but I couldn't possibly marry a fish.
  I'd be sure to land an old trout.
330160,330161c333970,333973
Mrs. Cheveley: Do you know, Gertrude, I don't mind your talking
  morality a bit. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards
  people whom we personally dislike. You dislike me, I am quite aware
  of that, and I have always detested you.
330165,330166c333977,333978
Mrs. Cheveley: I don't mind bad husbands. I've had two. They amused
  me immensely.
330174c333986,333987
  and now that I consider it, I find it to be a rather charming big
  idea.
330196c334009
  for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.
330213c334026
  the truth is... [whispers] I lied.
330245c334058
Mabel: Really! Are the others very bad?
330253,330254c334066,334067
: Oh, I like tedious, practical subjects. What I don't like are
  tedious, practical people.
330260a334074

330289,330290c334103,334108
Lord Arthur Goring: I love you... I love you.
Mabel: Is that your reason then?
Lord Arthur Goring: Mmm. Mabel, I said...
Mabel: I know.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well? Couldn't you you love me just a little bit
  in return?
330292a334111,334114
Lord Arthur Goring: Really?
Mabel: Mmm.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, why didn't you say anything before?
Mabel: Because, dear boy, you never would have believed me.
330435a334258,334263
# If I Should Fall From Grace: The Shane MacGowan Story (2001)
Philip Chevron: If you had issues with alcohol there was no better -
  trust me - there was no better place in the world to bury them and
  hide them in than in The Pogues.


330575c334403
  paint. It's like the Boho version of the Island of Misfit Toys.
330711a334540,334544
Sookie: Do you hate my guts?
Igby: For like a month I did. Now you're not even in my top five.

Igby: I'm going to California. I need a fucking sunny day.

334012a337846,337847
Jeffrey Wigand: I told the truth.

334402a338238,338240
Lehiff: Well, love's not something you can plan for, is it? You just
  never know, what's going to happen.

336110,336111d339947
336160a339997,339999
Marcus: I want to fuck your ass.
Alex: I thought you were romantic.

338745a342585,342587
Bill "Razor" Lamont: I don't know why everyone thinks I'm psychotic,
  I'm not psychotic, I just have a *passion* for my job.

338959a342802,342819
# Jamaica Inn (1939)
[the stagecoach passes the ominous Jamaica Inn]
Coachman: That place - Jamaica Inn. It's got a bad name. It's not
  healthy, that's why. There's queer things goes on there.
Coach Passenger: Eh?
Coachman: *Queer* things. I once slept there and not a sheet was on
  my double bed.

[Sir Humphrey admires a figurine]
Sir Humphrey Pengallan: What a rare beauty.
Lady: But it's not alive!
Sir Humphrey Pengallan: More alive than half the people here.

[nne of the smugglers' prisoners expresses his fear of death]
Prisoner: I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Not yet. I'm only
  a boy. You can't hang me! You mustn't! You can't!


339233c343093
[Nick is struggling with the killer]
339235c343095
[The killer kicks him again]
339238a343099,343105
[after Nick has broken down an apartment door]
Woman: Where's my door?
Bernadette: On the floor.

Nick: Ed, I think it'd be best if you don't come in the apartment.
Ed: You got it. I'm an artist. I'll watch the woman.

339388c343255
Courtney Shayne: I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it.
339420c343287
Miss Sherwood: You don't think that Miss Mayo could have - No. Miss
339449c343316
Courtney: I taught you to disrespect us?
339451c343318
Courtney: That's right! Rule, bitch! But don't forget who made you!
339519c343386
  Courtney Alice Shayne and Marcie 'Foxy' Fox]
339523c343390
Fern Mayo/Vylette: My name's Vylette.
339525c343392
Fern Mayo/Vylette: My name's Vylette.
339530,339532c343397,343399
[Julie Freeman approaches Courtney Shayne and Marcie Fox]
Courtney: Look what the kitty dragged in.
Marcie: Meow.
339534,339535c343401,343402
Dane: Don't go.
Courtney: Don't come.
339537c343404
[Vylette, in her pink dress, gets out of her red Corvette]
339539c343406
[Vylette walks past them]
339542c343409
Courtney: I made you, and I can break you just as easily.
341704a345572,345611
# Jet Attack (1958)
Col. Catlett: If Olmstead is alive, there is a chance the enemy may
  find ways to make him talk.
Capt. Tom Arnett: The old brainwash!
Col. Catlett: Exactly.

Col. Catlett: Tanya Nikova... you knew her quite well?
Capt. Tom Arnett: A little more than casually, sir. I owe her my
  life.
Col. Catlett: And, uh, she can be trusted?

Lt. Bill Claiborne: You see? Such is life in Uncle Sam's Air Force.
Radioman Chick 'Meathead' Lane: With wings you swing. Without a pair,
  you're nowhere.

Tanya Nikova: Eef eet had not been for ze var, I vould not haf met
  you, und ve vould not be here now.
Capt. Tom Arnett: Yeah, I guess you're right. But there's something
  better that the war can do for us.
Tanya Nikova: Vat's dat?
Capt. Tom Arnett: End.
Tanya Nikova: Oh, Tom. I hope ve both live to zee zat.

[The North Koreans torture Chick to try to make him talk]
Radioman Chick 'Meathead' Lane: Your whole caper's a boodle of bad
  jive. You're strictly from Squaresville. Ha-ha. What a gas!
Maj. Wan (North Korean): (as he beats Chick) Where are the others?
  How did you get here? Where are they taking the prisoner?
Radioman Chick 'Meathead' Lane: Crazy.
Maj. Wan (North Korean): We will stay here until he answers... in
  words I can understand.

Lt. Bill Claiborne: I'd feel a lot better if I knew what happened to
  Chick and the others.
Capt. Tom Arnett: Why think about it? We all know what happened to
  him.
Lt. Bill Claiborne: He was an offbeat character, but you couldn't
  help likin' the little schmo.


343331c347238
Pa Grape: What you need is a little compassion.
343334a347242,347257
# Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1973)
Jonathan: I want to fly where no seagull has flow before. I want to
  know what there is to know about life!

Father, Mother: Son, this may not be the best life, but it's all we
  know.
Jonathan: There's got to be more to life than fighting for fish
  heads!

[The Elder banishes Jonathan from the flock]
The Elder: You are henceforth and forever outcast!

Jonathan: Listen, everybody! There's no limit to how high we can fly!
  We can dive for fish and never have to live on garbage again!


343643c347566
# Journal d'un curé de campagne (1951)
344840c348763
[The lawyer seeks shelter from the T.Rex in a bathroom]
344921c348844
[Jumps out of the vehicle]
344925c348848
[After finding Malcolm with a broken leg]
344927c348850
[The Tyrannosaur roars nearby]
344941c348864
  champagne]
345008a348932,348934
Dr. Alan Grant: ...Kids. You want to have one of those?
Dr. Ellie Sattler: I don't want *that* kid.

346036a349963,349966
Louis: Sal won't kill you. He's married to your mother.
Charlie: If Sal Maggio thinks I stole his money, he'll kill me in
  front of my mother and then make her clean it up.

346179c350109
[They arrive at their new home]
346207,346208c350137,350138
Miyagi: Hai - can see. No such thing a bad student, only bad teacher.
  Teacher say, student do.
346342a350273,350274
Miyagi: Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off.

347584c351516
  come home, and kill him. THAT'd be even. That'd be about square.
347631c351563
  now's the fucking time. I didn't think so.
347647,347648c351579,351580
The Bride: You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in
  front of your daughter.
347691,347696c351623,351629
Earl McGraw: Son number one.
Edgar McGraw: Yeah.
Earl McGraw: This tall drink of cocksucker ain't dead.

Young O-Ren: Look at me Matsumoto... Take a good look at my face.
  Look at my eyes. Look at my mouth. Do I look familiar? Do I look
  like somebody... you murdered.
347714c351647
  limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts that did
347740,347741d351672
347753a351685,351956
O-Ren Ishii: That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.

Bill: Elle, you're gonna have to abort the mission.
Elle Driver: WHAT?
Bill: We owe her better than that...
Elle Driver: OH, YOU DON'T OWE HER SHIT!
Bill: Will you keep your voice down?
Elle Driver: [whispering] You don't owe her shit!

Bill: May I say one thing?
Elle Driver: Speak
Bill: You all beat the hell out of that woman... But you didn't kill
  her. And I put a bullet in her head, but her heart just kept on
  beating. Now, you saw that yourself, with your own beautiful blue
  eye, did you not? We've done a lot of things to this lady. And if
  she ever wakes up, we'll do a whole lot more. But one thing we
  won't do is sneak into her room at night like a filthy rat and kill
  her in her sleep. And the reason we won't do that thing is
  because... that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Driver?
Elle Driver: I guess...
Bill: Do you really have to guess?
Elle Driver: [sighs] No... I don't really have to guess... I
  *know*...
Bill: Come on home, honey.
Elle Driver: Affirmative...
Bill: I love you very much.
Elle Driver: I love you too... bye bye.

Sushi Bar Assistant: [in Japanese] I'm not bald, okay? I shaved my
  head. [in English] Do you understand me?


# Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Budd: Wake-y wake-y, eggs and bac-y.

Bill: [dying] How do I look?
The Bride: You look ready.

Elle Driver: She must suffer to her last breath.

Bill: Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart trick?
The Bride: Of course.
Bill: Why didn't you tell me?
The Bride: I don't know... I'm a bad person.
Bill: You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my
  favorite person. But every once in a while you just can be a real
  cunt.

The Bride: How did you find me?
Bill: I'm the man.

Bill: Isn't it bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress?
Tommy Plimpton: What can I say? I guess I like to live dangerously.
Bill: I know what you mean.

[his opinion of Tommy]
Bill: When I first saw him... I liked his hair.
The Bride: You promised you'd be nice.
Bill: I said I'd try my best, that's hardly a promise.

The Bride: You good with that shotgun?
Karen Kim: Not that it matters at this range but I'm a fuckn' surgeon
  with this shotgun!
The Bride: Well, guess what, bitch? I'm Annie Oakley with this gun.

The Bride: I was wondering, just 'tween us girls, what did you say to
  Pai Mei for him to snatch out your eye?
Elle Driver: I called him a miserable old fool.
The Bride: Ooh, bad idea.
Elle Driver: You know what I did back? I killed that miserable old
  fool.

Budd: That girl deserves her revenge, and we deserve to die... but
  then again, so does she.

The Bride: You and I have unfinished business.
Bill: Baby, you ain't kiddin'.

Budd: She's got a Hanzo sword?
Bill: He made one for her.
Budd: Didn't he swear a blood oath to never make another sword?
Bill: It would appear he has broken it.
Budd: Them Japs sure know how to hold a grudge. (laughs) Or maybe,
  you just tend to bring that out in people.

[Elle's phone rings, she answers]
Elle Driver: Bill.
Budd: Wrong brother ya hateful bitch.

Budd: Guess what I'm holding in my hand right now.
Elle Driver: What?
Budd: A brand spankin' new Hattori Hanzo sword, and I'm here to tell
  you Elle, that's what I call sharp.

[after entering a cafe, covered head to toe in dirt]
The Bride: May I have a glass of water, please?

The Bride: Looked dead, didn't I? But I wasn't. But it wasn't from
  lack of trying, I can tell you that. Actually, Bill's last bullet
  put me in a coma - A coma I was to lie in for four years. When I
  woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a
  'roaring rampage of revenge.' I roared. And I rampaged. And I got
  bloody satisfaction. I've killed a hell of a lot of people to get
  to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I'm
  driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my
  destination, I am gonna kill Bill.

[as the Deadly Vipers enter the chapel]
Reverend Harmony: What the hell?

Bill: Now... When it comes to you - and us - I have a few unanswered
  questions. So, before this tale of bloody revenge reaches its
  climax, I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to
  tell me the truth. However, therein lies a dilemma. Because, when
  it comes to the subject of me, I believe you are truly and utterly
  incapable of telling the truth, especially to me, and least of all,
  to yourself. And, when it comes to the subject of me, I am truly
  and utterly incapable of believing anything you say.
The Bride: How do you suppose we solve this dilemma?
Bill: Well, it just so happens I have a solution.
[he shoots The Bride with a dart filled with Truth Serum]
Bill: Gotcha!
The Bride: Goddamn it! What the fuck did you just shoot me
  with?{Carradine, David@Bill}: My greatest invention. Or at least,
  my favorite one.

Bill: I'm a killer, a murderous bastard. You know that. And there are
  consequences to breaking the heart of a murdereous bastard?

Elle Driver: The venom of a Black Mamba can kill a human in four
  hours, if say bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to
  the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within twenty
  minutes. Now you should listen to this cause this concerns you. The
  amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be
  gargantuan... You know I've always liked that word Gargantuan, and
  I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence... If not
  treated quickly with anti venom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal
  to human beings. However, the Black Mamba can deliver as much as
  100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite.

Budd: She cut her way through eighty-eight bodyguards?
Bill: Naw... there wasn't really eighty-eight of them. They just
  called themselves the 'Crazy Eighty-Eight'.
Budd: How come?
Bill: I don't know? Guess they thought it sounded cool.

The Bride: I speak Japanese very well.
Pai Mei: I did not ask if you could speak Japanese!

[holding the Bride in a leglock]
Pai Mei: It's my leg, I'll do what I want with it.

The Bride: We have some unfinished business.
Bill: You're damn right.

Bill: Clark Kent was Superman's take on the human race.

Bill: Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman,
  Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning,
  he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the
  big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents
  found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the
  business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman
  wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And
  what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of
  himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the
  whole human race, sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy
  Plumpton.

Elle Driver: That's right. I killed your master. And now I'm gonna
  kill you, with your very own sword, which in the immediate future,
  will become... my sword.
The Bride: Bitch, you don't have a future.

[the Bride sees B.B. for the first time]
Bill: Bang bang! [pretends to be shot] Oh B.B., Mommy got us. Oh, I'm
  dying... I'm dying...
[B.B. pretends to die, too]
B.B.: Oh, I'm dying... I'm dying...
Bill: Fall down sweetheart, Mommy shot you. [to the Bride] You did
  it, Quick Draw Kiddo. You are... the fastest. [in a narrative
  voice] But... little did Quick Draw Kiddo know that little B.B. was
  only playing possum, due to the fact that she was impervious to
  bullets.
B.B.: I'm impervious to bullets, Mommy.
Bill: [to B.B.] Hey, get back down there. You're playing possum. [to
  the Bride] So, as the smirking killer approached, what she thought,
  was a bullet-ridden corpse... that's when little B.B. fired.
[B.B. jumps up and pretends to shoot the Bride]
B.B.: Bang bang!
Bill: You're dead, mommy - so die.
[still shocked at the sight of B.B]
Bill: B.B.
[comes out of it and acts out a huge death scene]
The Bride: Oh, B.B., you got me. I should have known... you are the
  best.
[collapses to the ground]
B.B.: Don't die, Mommy. I was just playing.
The Bride: I know, baby.

[The Bride sees B.B. for the first time]
B.B.: Freeze, Mommy!
Bill: Bang bang! [pretends to be shot] Oh B.B., Mommy got us. I'm
  dying.
B.B.: I'm dying.
Bill: Fall down, sweetheart. Mommy shot you.
[both fall down and pretend to die]
Bil: [in a narrative tone] But little did Quick-Draw Kiddo know that
  little B.B. was playing possum, due to the fact she was impervious
  to bullets.
B.B.: I'm impervious to bullets, Mommy.
Bill: Hey, get back down there. You're playing possum. [in a
  narrative voice] So, as the smirking killer approached, what she
  thought, was a bullet-ridden corpse, that's when little B.B. fired.
[B.B. gets up and pretends to shoot the Bride]
B.B.: Bang bang!
Bill: You're dead, Mommy... so die.
[The Bride is still shocked]
[Carradine, David@Bill}: B.B.
[snaps out of it and pretends to die an over-the-top death]
The Bride: Oh, B.B. I should've known... you are the best.
[falls over and pretends to die]
B.B.: Oh, Mommy, don't die. I was only playing.
The Bride: I know.

Beatrix: When will I see you again?
Bill: You know that's the name of one of my favorite 1970's soul
  songs?

Bill: You're a natural born killer.

Bill: The absolute truth with none of the druggy side effects, except
  well, a mild euphoria. Do you feel it?
The Bride: What? Euphoria?
[Bill nods]
The Bride: No.

Elle Driver: Now, you might want to pay attention, because this
  concerns you...

: That's about as useful as an asshole right here
[pointing to his elbow]

Pai Mei: From here you can get an excellent view of my foot.

The Bride: What are you doing here?
Bill: Well, just a second ago I was sittin' here playing my pipe, and
  now I'm looking at the most beautiful girl these old man's eyes
  have ever seen.

The Bride: What the FUCK did you just shoot me with?

Elle: She put a Black Mamba in his camper. [pause] I got her, sweety.
  [pause] She's dead. [pause] Let me put it this way. If you ever
  start feeling sentimental, go to Austin, Texas. When you get here,
  walk into a florist and buy a bunch of flowers. Then you take those
  flowers to Huntington cemetery on Fuller and Guadalupe, look for
  the headstone marked Paula Schultz, then lay them on the grave.
  Because you will be standing at the final resting place of BEATRIX
  KIDDO.

Bill: You... Pawned a... Priceles... Hattori Hanzon Sword?
Budd: Well it 'aint priceless in El Paso, Texas. In El Paso it is
  worth $255.

Budd: So you're telling me that she cut through eighty eight yakuza
  before she got to O-Ren?
Bill: Well there weren't actually eighty eight of them they just
  called the selves the Crazy 88s.
Budd: So then why did they call themselves the Crazy 88s?
Bill: I guess they thought it sounded cool.

348474a352678,352695
[Sir Kenneth tries to steal a kiss]
Lady Edith: No, no, my dearly betrothed. Richard would set the
  headsman on your neck - he has said as much.
Sir Kenneth: Then kiss me quickly, my bonnie, while these lips are
  still warm.
Lady Edith: No, no! (they kiss) Ah, this is a pleasant madness.
Sir Kenneth: A lunacy with which I would love to be afflicted... to
  the end of my life. If Richard would take my life, I must kiss
  softly.

Saladin: May the Seven Doves rest on your shoulders.
Sir Kenneth: Doves or vultures, you slippery infidel?
Saladin: Come, I invite you to share the waters of the oasis with me.

Lady Edith: I'm a Plantagenet, yet somehow I feel less proud. I'm
  beginning to despise war. The dread, the wondering each time you
  ride away if you'll come back among the living.

348643a352865,352891
[during the Mabel/IRS match]
Art Donovan: Gorilla, who's the guy in the white suit?
Gorilla Monsoon: Guy in the white suit?
Randy Savage: That'd be Oscar.
Gorilla Monsoon: That's Oscar, the manager of Men on a Mission, Art!
Art Donovan: Oh, I thought maybe he was the guy coming to take them
  to the hospital!

[during the 1-2-3 Kid/Jeff Jarrett match]
Art Donovan: I think Double J's mad at me. He looked at me and said,
  "Come on up in the ring!" I said, "Are you nuts?"

Jerry Lawler: Art Donovan is living proof that wisdom does not come
  with age! What is he mumbling out there at ringside? His first job
  was parking covered wagons!

[The announcers are putting over the beating that Owen Hart & The
  Anvil gave Razor Ramon]
Randy Savage: I got a theory. Call me crazy, call me nuts. But I'm
  just thinking that the Anvil was out there in Bret's corner, and
  possibly the only motive he had being in Bret's corner was to make
  sure that the Hitman didn't lose his title, but he's hoping that
  the Rocket will beat the Hitman, I don't know.
Gorilla Monsoon: Oh, wait a minute, Randy. Do you think...
Art Donovan: [interrupting] Let me ask you a question. Did you guys
  act that way in the ring when you were wrestling?

348721c352969,352971
Ansem: This world has been connected. Tied to the darkness... soon to
  be completely eclipsed. There is so very much to learn. You
  understand so little.
348820c353070
Pincchio: [slowly] Jimminy, I'm not gonna make it. [nose grows a
348864c353114
[As they're inside Monstro, something falls]
348867c353117
[As something else falls]
348874c353124
[Tarzan looks at him, not understanding]
348878c353128
[Sora pauses, deciding not to mention Donald or Goofy]
348944,348946c353194,353196
Jack Skellington: The ingredients for a heart: Pulse. [Frog] Emotion.
Dr. Finkelstein: Terror. [Spider]
Jack Skellington: Fear. [Scratching glass] Hope and despair. [Two
352421a356672,356673
Preacher: I smite, you smite, we smite, *He done smote!*

354209a358462,358474
# Last Movie, The (1971)
Kansas: You cold?
Maria: Um, my feet are cold.
Kansas: Yeah?
Maria: Yeah.
Kansas: (reaches under her skirt) Hey, hey, I know something that's
  hot and, uh, heh, heh. Yes, sir!

Mrs. Anderson: You know, I had fantasies like that, about being beat
  up. Did you ever have a fantasy about women beating you up? Or
  don't cowboys have fantasies?


354799c359064
  you show your sword in his presence! Do you know who this is?
354816a359082,359107
Algren: [narrating] They are an intriguing people. From the moment
  they wake they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they
  pursue. I have never seem such discipline. I am surprised to learn
  that the word Samurai means, 'to serve', and that Katsumoto
  believes his rebellion to be in the service of the Emperor.

Algren: [narrating] Winter, 1877. What does it mean to be Samurai? To
  devote yourself utterly to a set of moral principles. To seek a
  stillness of your mind. And to master the way of the sword.

Algren: [narrating] Spring, 1877. This marks the longest I've stayed
  in one place since I left the farm at 17. There is so much I will
  never understand. I've never been a church going man, and what I've
  seen on the field of battle has led me to question God's purpose.
  But there is indeed something spiritual in this place. And though
  it may forever be obscure to me, I cannot but be aware of its
  power. I do know that it is here that I've known my first
  untroubled sleep in many years.

Simon Graham: [narrating] And so the days of the Samurai had ended.
  Nations, like men, it is sometimes said, have their own destiny. As
  for the American Captain, no one knows what became of him. Some say
  that he died of his wounds. Others, that he returned to his own
  country. But I like to think he may have at last found some small
  measure of peace, that we all seek, and few of us ever find.

355050a359342,359344
Grig: [proudly displaying his family photo] This, is my Wife-oid, and
  twelve thousand little grig-lets.

361298c365592
Stan: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.
361311c365605
  was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke!
361370a365665,365669
[Brian is explaining why there's a crowd outside their house]
Brian: They must have just popped by!
Mandy: Popped by? SWARMED by is more like it! There's a multitude out
  there!

362544c366843
Pumbaa: Try this - hot tuna frittata.
362601,362602c366900,366904
Pumbaa: [talking through a crowd of animals at Pride Rock] Uh, Timon,
  I don't do so well in crowds.

Pumbaa: They say first impressions are very important.
Timon: Oh, I thought you were a "scream".
363387a367690,367706
# Little Beau Pepé (1952)
Pepe Le Pew: I am the broken heart of love. I am the disillusioned. I
  wish to enlist in the Foreign Legion so I may forget. Take me!

Pepe Le Pew: Why did everyone leave? Oh, but of course! Already I
  have achieved a post of honor, and have been left to defend the
  fort. Viva la Republique!

Pepe Le Pew: A pitiful case, am I not?

Pepe Le Pew: How is it that she can sleep when I am so near? We must
  stoke the furnace of love, must we not?

Pepe Le Pew: But madame! I have overstoked the furnace, yes? Madame!
  Your conduct is unseemly! Control yourself! Madame!


364004c368323
[Delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla]
364022c368341
Alfalfa: Yeah, uh! See ya!
364030c368349
Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
364032,364037c368351
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!
364043c368357
Buckwheat: Hey, my mom's here!
364048,364049c368362,368363
[about Spanky and Alfalfa's friendship]
Stymie: You're a team, like Bert and Ernie, Superman and Clark Kent!
364054,364055c368368,368369
  especially: never fall in love, and if I do may I die slowly and
  painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.
365185a369500,369506
[Mr. Jigsaw is holding a gun to Sgt. Colt's head]
Sgt. Jack Colt: Who are you?
Mr. Jigsaw: I'm your worst nightmare.
Sgt. Jack Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.
Mr. Jigsaw: Okay, allright, so I'm not actually your worst nightmare.
  But I am right up there.

366057a370379,370394
Earl: you ever get the feeling your like, being watched, baby?
Baby: you mean, by horny guys?

Baby: Earl Crest, don't you know it ain't polite to stare?
Earl: Well Baby, it's only natural for a man to stare when he sees
  the prettiest gal west of Mississippi
Baby: just west?

Earl: [voiceover] I don't know for sure exactly how Andy got elected
  6 months ago in the first place, but all I do know is that nobody
  meant for it to happen. It's like the ugly girl in high school who
  gets picked for prom queen. It ain't nice, but some A-hole thinks
  it's funny and nominates her, & then other people start voting for
  her thinking no one else is gonna and pretty soon, KAPOW!, the
  school is stuck with Sheriff Andy for prom queen.

367676c372013
  open. I can see! I can see... wrinkly butts. Yuck!
367690c372027
James: What?
367721a372059,372061
Mollie: [opening pay envelope] Pink! Mine's pink today... how
  festive! [reads paper, faints]

369041c373381
Theoden: I have left instruction. The people are to follow your rule
369043,369046c373383,373386
  defend Edoras if the battle goes ill.
Eowyn: What other duty would you have me do, my lord?
Theoden: Duty? No... I would have you smile again, not grieve for
  those whose time has come.
369074c373414
  nothing - no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him
369135,369137c373475,373477
  right, after you pass the wall. Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise.
  Arise, Riders of Théoden. Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be
  splintered. A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises.
369145c373485
Rohirrim: Death.
369147c373487
Rohirrim: Death.
369149c373489
Eowyn, Merry: Death.
369179c373519
Aragorn: Murderers. Traitors. You would call upon them to fight? They
369183,369188c373523,373529
Elrond: Anduril, Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil.
Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten the sword of Elendil. The
  blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith.
Elrond: The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to
  him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside
  the ranger. Become who you were born to be. Take the Dimholt Road.
  (Pause) I give hope to men.
369200,369201c373541
[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers]
369236a373577
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
369238,369245c373579,373592
  path... One that we all must take.
[Pippin listenes and watches Gandalf curiously, as he continues. The
  battle around seems to quiet down]
Gandalf: The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all
  change to silver glass...
[A light comes into Pippin's face, as a small smile comes into his
  eyes, as Gandalf looks out into the distance]
Gandalf: ...And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?
Gandalf: White shores... and beyond. The far green country under a
  swift sunrise.
[They both smile as they look at each other]
Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.
Gandalf: [Softly:] No... No it isn't.
369615a373963,373964
Gothmog: Release the prisoners!

369783a374133,374146
[Referring to Gollum]
Frodo: I want to help him, Sam.
Sam: Why?
Frodo: Because I have to believe he can come back.
Sam: You can't save him, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: [suddenly angry] What do you know about it? Nothing!
  [remorseful] I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know why I said that.
Sam: I do. It's the ring. You can't take your eyes off it, I've seen
  you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taken a hold of you,
  Mr. Frodo. You have to fight it.
Frodo: I know what I have to do, Sam. The ring was entrusted to me.
  It's my task, mine, my own! [storms off]
Sam: Can't you hear yourself? Don't you know who you sound like?

369921c374284
Theoden: Fell deeds awake... Now for Wrath... Now for Ruin... and the
369924c374287
Theoden: Forth Eorlingas!
369992,369993c374355,374356
Frodo: Stop. He is our guide, this creature is bound to me and I to
  him.
370002c374365
Gimli: Whatever luck you live by... let's hope it lasts the night.
370004c374367
Gimli: Let's hope it lasts the night...
370141c374504
  halls of your fathers.
370180,370182c374543,374546
Elrond: Our time here is ending, Arwen's time is ending. Let her
  go... let her take the ship into the West. Let her bear her love
  for you to the Undying Lands, there it will be ever green...
Aragorn: ... but never more than a memory.
370959a375324,375348
# Lost Horizon (1973)
Sam Cornelius: Are you an American?
Sally Hughes: No, Mongolian.
Sam Cornelius: You'll have to teach me the language some time.

[considering possible reasons why their plane has been hijacked]
Sam Cornelius: For good measure, they've got two journalists - and by
  his own account - a famous comedian.
Harry Lovett: Very funny. But what about you, Cornelius? Maybe they
  want you? Who are you?
Sam Cornelius: I'm somebody flying in a strange plane with a lunatic
  pilot and I'm trying to find out why, that's who I am!

[seeing Sally Hughes about to jump out a window]
Chang: Miss Hughes! You are in the midst of life. Do not seek death,
  it will find you. But choose the road that makes death a
  fulfillment.

George Conway: You are beautiful than the women of Thailand. More
  feminine that the women of France. More pliable than the women of
  Japan. More...
Maria: Stop, stop. I don't want to hear about all these other women.
  What I want to hear is that you won't leave me.


373857a378247,378250
[Penny almost clobbers MacGyver with an iron poker]
Penny: MacGyver, you nearly scared me to death.
MacGyver: Well, we nearly went together!

373906a378300,378303
Goldie: Listen to me and listen good. I don't give a shit what
  happened to you. You hear me? Now get yourself together, get back
  out there and git me my money!

376402a380800,380804
# Making of 'Alien³', The (2003) (V)
[after a crewmember delays a shot]
David Fincher: We are being held captive by a moron.


376522,376523c380924,380929
B-Rad: And If I work hard, I can be the biggest rapper there ever
  was?
Ronnie Rizzat: Rapper? Hell no you stink.
B-Rad: Don't be hatin'.
Ronnie Rizzat: I'd rather eat garbage then listen to your sorry ass
  rhymes.
376555a380962,380964
[seeing a scary movie]
B-Rad: RUN, BITCH! HE GONNA KIIILLLLL YOU!

381173c385582
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Do you want to call that raggedy arse Bonaparte
382353c386762
[talking to the machines]
382355,382356c386764,386765
  spread through this city, as he has spread through the Matrix. You
  cannot stop him... but I can.
382399,382400c386808,386809
Agent Smith: Really? What did she say about me?
Sati: That you were a bad man.
382403c386812,386813
Mifune: If we have to give these bastards our lives, we give them
  hell before we do!
382449,382450c386859,386860
The Oracle: You are a bastard.
Agent Smith: You would know, Mom.
382473,382474c386883,386884
Trinity: Here's another deal. You give me Neo, or we all die right
  here, right now.
382523,382526d386932
389954c394360
  overly protective - I just like to think she cared about me, which
390030c394436
  a realization that I was - and am - a blonde, female folk singer
390048a394455,394478
Amber Cole: [referring to her working relationship with Wally Fenton]
  We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain
  that we share between us.

Amber Cole: One time I had a friend who asked me if I'd like to play
  the piccolo but I said no.

Laurie Bohner: Terry and I worship an unconventional deity. The power
  of another dimension. Now you are not going to read about this
  dimension in a book or a magazine because it exists nowhere... but
  in my own mind. Through our ceremonies and rituals we have
  witnessed the awesome and vibratory power... of color.

[Looking at some item of clothing in a shop]
Terry Bohner: Honey, can you run your hand over this? What are you
  getting?
Laurie Bohner: I'm getting a bounce, but there's a lightness within
  it.

Mitch: What do you do, Leonard? For work?
Leonard Crabbe: Oh work! I'm in the bladder management industry. I
  sell catheters. I've started my own distribution company, Sure Flo,
  you might have heard of it.

393840,393841d398269
393855,393857c398283,398285
  human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and
  one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
393885,393887c398313,398315
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to
  threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you
  think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top.
393903c398331
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company
393917c398345
  degrees - which is good news for you reptiles - and it looks like
393959c398387
Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of
394436c398864,398865
Sir Robin: I don't know that. [he is thrown over the edge into the
  volcano] Auuuuuuuugh.
394442c398871,398872
Galahad: Blue. No, yel... [he is also thrown over the edge]
  auuuuuuuugh.
394450c398880,398881
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that. [he is thrown over]
  Auuuuuuuugh.
394748a399180,399182
[making fun of the Rabbit]
Sir Robin: What's he do, nibble your bum?

396751a401186,401189
[in the Pizza-Place, just after asking Jan if Deeds was there]
Cecil Anderson: Is Mrs. Deeds around?
Jan: Mrs. Deeds? I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.

397549c401987
Mrs. Doubtfire: [masculine voice] Back off asshole!
397879c402317
Iv·n: How many men have you had to forget?
397888,397891c402326,402329
[Pepa holds up a bloody shirt. The police arrive]
PolicÌa I: Where are the clothes your son wore...
PolicÌa II: At the time of the murder?
[Pepa takes a clean shirt out of the dryer]
397893,397896c402331,402334
PolicÌa I: No trace of blood.
PolicÌa II: Or guts.
PolicÌa I: Unbelievable!
[Pepa holds up a box of detergent]
397928c402366
Iv·n: Yes, sweetheart.
397930c402368
Iv·n: But you're right.
398513c402951
[O'Connell sees mummified soldiers destroying his car]
398596c403034
[After breaking the key of in the ignition]
398710c403148
Evelyn: Bank job?
398719a403158,403160
Jonathan: If you see anyone come running out screaming, don't worry -
  it's just me.

399429c403870
Rizzo: What's wrong?
399431c403872
Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
399433c403874
Rizzo: You and your hobbies.
399447,399448c403888,403889
Rizzo: Captured by crazed wild boars and about to be sacrificed
  hideously before a pagan altar.
399460c403901
Rizzo: It's some kind of a blind fiend.
399463c403904
Rizzo: He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie.
399465,399468c403906,403907
Rizzo: I've gone way beyond afraid. Right now I'm somewhere between
  bedwetting and a near death experience.
399476c403915
  Trelawney, who in turn points at his finger] Your finger hired the
399481c403920
Benjamina Gunn: You can't hurt my frog.
399483c403922
Billy Bones: How does she bloody do that?
399485c403924
Mr. Samuel Erroll: That will be 40 lashes and then you walk the
399487,399488c403926,403927
Captain Abraham Smollett: I didn't say that, Mr. Arrow.
Mr. Samuel Erroll: I was anticipating your whim, Sir.
399492,399493c403931,403933
Polly Lobster: What an imagination. First pirates, now talking
  parrots, what's next - a singing, dancing mouse with his own
  amusement park?
399495,399496c403935,403936
Rizzo: If you're going to be the cook on this ship, Mr. Silver, I am
  definitely going to need bigger pants.
399503c403943
Rizzo: Maybe he gets hopping mad.
399507c403947
Rizzo: If I had a life, I'd hate it.
399517,399518c403957,403958
Rizzo: Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo, and you'll have to...
  negotiate strenuously.
399528c403968
Clueless Morgan: (Confused) But, um, it's not even his Birthday...
403960c408400
[At Myron's sex-change operation]
403966c408406
[At Myron's sex-change operation]
403980c408420
  you will ask? Yes, and no, is my answer... Let it suffice for me to
403983c408423
  a dish, and don't you ever forget it, you motherfuckers - as the
403991a408432,408444
[Letitia has been pulled over by a policeman]
Leticia Van Allen: Don't forget to remind me about the policeman's
  balls - I mean policeman's ball!

Myra Breckinridge: How should a man act?
Male student: He should ball chicks, that's how.

Italian man: In my country, to wait for love is like to burn by
  inches.
Leticia Van Allen: You're the best salesman since Columbus.
Italian man: He was a good lover, too?
Leticia Van Allen: Yeah, he raised hell-a with Isabella.

404749c409202,409204
Sean Devine: You gonna send Celeste Boyle 500 a month too?

Jimmy Markum: Admit what you did.
406054,406055c410509,410510
Woman in car: [Slapping Hank] Didn't your mama teach you any manners?
  The least you could do is ask me nice!
406352a410808,410837
Jack Powell: How the hell did you get dumped in the middle of
  nowhere?
Adrian: A fella' in a big rig picked me up, about where you passed
  me. But he got a little too devoted, you know what I mean?
Jack Powell: So you got out?
Adrian: Looks that way.

Adrian: The fella' in the fancy suit must have a name.
Jack Powell: Jack.
Adrian: You know, Jack? I can usually tell in about two minutes all I
  need to know about a person.
Jack Powell: Like what?
Adrian: Like is he a loser? Does he shoot dope? Does he like to wear
  ladies' underwear?
Jack Powell: Are you telling me that you're a psychic, or that you
  like to look at people's pants?
Adrian: You're a funny guy, Jack.

Adrian: Now you just sit tight a minute while I go right a wrong.

Adrian: I figured you'd be long gone by now. You must've lost your
  appetite in a big hurry, huh? I'd hate to think it's 'cause you
  didn't like me, Jack. I mean, you can see what an unfriendly place
  the world can be.
Jack Powell: What are you doing?
Adrian: I got no place to sleep, Jack.
Jack Powell: You're crazy.
Adrian: I'll tell on ya, Jack. I'll tell everyone what you got in
  that briefcase. Don't worry. I'm a man with a secret too myself.

406962a411448,411450
Lieutenant Chris Sabian: You think killing a man gives you the right
  to negotiate with me?

408793,408795c413281,413283
Lord Verisopht: If you had only told him who you were as he asked!...
  I was wrong too, not to interfere. I did not sleep the night for
  thinking about it.
408823a413312,413315
Mr. Crummles: But there is tragedy in the family.
Nicholas Nickleby: The pony's family?
Mr. Crummles: Yes... the father drank. Ended up in the circus.

409041c413533
Tsar Nicholas II: I knew I could count on Willie! You see? He signed
409042a413535,413537
Count Witte: With all due respect to your cousin, Sire, the Kaiser is
  a decietful megalomaniac. If he is offering to help, then it is
  time to pray.
409874c414369
[After shooting one of his friends]
409886,409887c414381,414382
Samantha: The burden of civilization is among us...
DMK: Ohhh. Bitchen, isn't it?
411161a415657,415668
Valerie: [to Ray] When you go out, you go out with your mates, and
  when you are in, you're pissed out and your brain's asleep in front
  of the fucking television. I turn the television off, go up to bed,
  you follow me up at three o'clock in the morning stinking of booze.
  That's what I get. Either that or you're knocking me about. I'm 30
  today, you know, and I feel so fucking old. You know, I'm tired,
  you know, I wanna be able to look back and say, "Yeah, I had a bit
  of fun," you know, when I'm old, instead of saying "Everyone
  fucking felt sorry for me!" I mean, that's the life I've got. Do
  you hear what I'm saying? I just don't want it. I'll, I'll find
  somebody else. You know, someone who can love me. Someone kind.

412038a416546,416549
Denis Leary: This is America! I want a bowl of raw red meat, right
  now! Forget that! Bring me a live cow over to the table! I'll carve
  off what I want and RIDE THE REST HOME!

414065a418577,418593
# Nous les artistes: Jacques Brel (1979)
Himself: My trade is a lonely one. I'm a craftsman, if you like. It
  so happens that these days singers are better paid than
  blacksmiths.

Himself: When you write a song, most of the words you use are in
  black and white, and then, from time to time, you use one that's in
  color. These words in color are a part of ourselves, because we
  give them a meaning. If you like, we give them a third dimension.

Himself: To be bourgeois is to have a certain type of materialism.
  You have to think of what that means. It means everything that
  destroys dreams, everything that destroys anything attractive.
  That's what being bourgeois means for me. It means security. It's a
  type of mediocrity of the spirit. It's everything I dislike.


415655c420183,420184
Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?
Saul: You come here to give me a physical?
416445a420975,420978
Felix Ungar: It's not spaghetti, it's linguini.
[Oscar throws plate against wall]
Oscar Madison: Now it's garbage.

418539,418540c423072,423073
  the love of a lousy buck. It's making love of a buck - -the cushy
  job - -more important than the love of man!
418566c423099
Charley Malloy: Look, kid, I - how much you weigh, Slick? When you
418581,418582c423114,423115
  a contender. I coulda been somebody Charley, instead of a bum,
  which is what I am, let's face it. I'm a bum. It was you, Charley.
421426a425960,425969
Osmosis: Yo! You see this badge? You see this gun? You see this white
  saccus membranous around my personhood? You're talking to a white
  blood cell here! I should be in the veins fighting disease, not up
  in the mouth on tartar control.

Osmosis: [looking at a centerfold in DNA Monthly] Nice genes. You got
  the chromosomes in all the right places.

Ms. Boyd: What a zit!... I mean, what is it?

421695c426238
Anne: They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs.
423732a428276,428284
[Ben has been out looking for Elizabeth]
Ben: Where the hell have you been?
Elizabeth: I was taking a bath at the river.
Ben: You mean to tell me that you was at the river, broad beamed and
  buck naked, before light takin' a bath?
Elizabeth: Mr. Rumson! Perhaps you would prefer that I go to the
  river 'broad beamed and buck naked' and take my bath in the middle
  of the day!

424503a429056,429062
Walt: We live in the suburbs, but I've got my business in town
Travis: Oh yeah? What's your business?
Walt: I make billboard signs for advertising.
Travis: Oh yeah? So *you*'re the one who makes those signs, I love
  those. Some of them are beautiful.
Walt: I'm not the only one who makes them, Trav.

426409,426410c430968,430969
Mark Lewis: Imagine... someone coming towards you... who wants to
  kill you... regardless of the consequences.
426412c430971
Mark Lewis: Yes. But he knows it - and you don't.
426420c430979
  *it* can't be photographed. If I'd listened to it years ago, I - I
427194,427207d431752
427212,427214c431757,431759
  and I love you forever. There's no goodbyes, there's only love
  Christina only love. Then he's gone. But he's always happy when he
  goes so I know he's got to be ok absolutely ok.
427229,427230c431774,431775
Captain Billy Tyne: I don't have a work ethic. I just have work... If
  I'm going to catch up to you.
427234c431779
  what I was made to do - and I've got a feeling I'm going to do it
428811c433356
  a homosexual]
428859,428862c433404,433407
Anthea Burton: Apparently Mr. Wheeler felt that they were
  too..."Ethnic" is the word she used. And she told me that he said
  that he would like it if I wore something a little less garish, a
  little smaller, and more "American."
428876,428877c433421,433422
Andrew Beckett: It's that every now and again - not often, but
  occasionally - you get to be a part of justice being done. That
429144c433689
Stu: With a big fucking smile on my face.
429147,429148c433692,433695
The Caller: If this is true Stuart, then I have to take somebody with
  me don't I? And since Kelly is the most important thing in your
  life, I'll take her.
Stu: No, take me! Take me! I'm the one you want!
429152c433699
Stu: My two-thousand dollar watch is a fake, and so am I.
429169c433716
Stu: And I wanted to sleep with her.
429185,429186c433732,433735
Stu: [to "Corky"] Get the fuck outta here before I call Hillary and
  have you deported to New Jersey!

Stu: GET HER OUTTA HERE!
429189,429192c433738,433741
The Caller: Stu, don't do this. Plese, come on. My sainted mother
  used to do this. She used to dish this out... Stu, please don't
  this. Stu, you're bringing back my unhappy childhood. Stu, talk to
  me, please! Talk to me! I can't take it Stu... Ahh!
429194,429195c433743
The Caller: I'm kidding. I had a very nice childhood.
429223,429224c433771,433774
Stu: I offered him money. I offered him my watch.
The Caller: But not your respect, which is what he really wanted. You
  were dismissive just as you were to the nice pizza guy. You are
  guilty of inhumanity to your fellow man.
429228,429231c433778,433785
The Caller: Think so? Let's see. One...
[Stu ducks]
The Caller: Two. That won't help you. Three!
[fires gun and shoots a toy robot next to the phone booth - no one
  notices]
The Caller: Oh Stu, look at everybody... Look at all the people
  yelling, Stu, here come the cops, sniper on the roof. Gunfire. Hit
  the deck.
429239,429248d433792
429250,429254c433794,433795
The Caller: There are hundred of windows out there. Why don't you
  check them out?
429390c433931
  brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and
429554a434096,434122
Moe Williams: You got any Happy Money?
Candy: Happy Money?
Moe Williams: Yeah, money that's gonna make me happy.

Moe Williams: What's the matter with you? Playing footsie with the
  Commies!
Skip McCoy: You waving the flag, too?
Moe Williams: Listen, I knew you since you was a little kid. You was
  always a regular kind of crook. I never figured you for a louse.
Skip McCoy: Stop, you're breaking my heart.
Moe Williams: Even in our crummy line of business you gotta draw the
  line somewhere.

Moe Williams: I have to go on making a living so I can die. But even
  a fancy funeral ain't worth waiting for if I've gotta do business
  with crumbs like you.

Moe Williams: I've got almost enough to buy both the stone and the
  plot.
Capt. Dan Tiger: If you lost that kitty, it's Potter's Field.
Moe Williams: This I do not think is a very funny joke, Captain
  Tiger!
Capt. Dan Tiger: I just meant you ought to be careful how you carry
  your bankroll.
Moe Williams: Look, Tiger, if I was to be buried in Potter's Field,
  it would just about kill me.

430142c434710
Mabel: Mabel, also without a "k." God, we have so much in common.
430152c434720
Mabel: "Come what may"? We'll all be burning in our beds come what
430165a434734,434739
[The Pirate King has just cornered Frederick in their swordfight, the
  Pirate King has his sword pointed between Frederick's legs]
Pirate King: Drop it, or...
Frederick: NUTS!
Pirate King: Them, too!

430417c434991
Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
430549c435123
Barbossa: Yes, we know that one, anything else?
430889a435464,435480
Barbossa: Me holds are burstin' with swag and that bit of shine
  matters to us?

Barbossa: All on the main bridge, make ready the guns!... and run out
  the sweeps.

Barbossa: Ten years you carry that pistol and now you waste your
  shot.

Barbossa: You don't know what this is, do ye?... This is Aztec gold.
  One of 882 identical pieces they delivered in a stone chest to
  Cortez himself. Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked
  upon them with his armies. But the greed of Cortez was insatiable.
  So the heathen gods placed upon the gold a terrible curse. Any
  mortal that removes but a piece from that stone chest shall be
  punished for eternity.

431002,431006c435593,435597
James Joyce: This is never an eight iron. It's a fucking FIVE! [to
  shop girl] Do you think I'm fecking blind? Giving me a five, and I
  the cock of the land! You are no more than nothing. And give us a
  pencil as well... and a couple of those tees... and a Topic. No,
  not a Milky Way you arse, a Topic! All fecund in its nuttiness.
433391c437982
[Sargent Vinnie picks up a chocolate bar from a bus bench]
433396c437987
[Mahoney wears a microphone while infiltrating Zed's gang]
433401c437992
[Vinnie's dog steps on Captain Lassard's lap]
433405a437997,438000
[Cmdt. Lassard's water in his fishbowl is boiling on the hibachi]
Capt. Lassard: This fish is boiling.
Japanese Chef: Oh you want stir fry?

433489a438085,438089
Sgt. Tackleberry: You want to become one with the gun. Feel the gun,
  caress the gun until it's a living, breathing, vibrating extension
  of yourself.
Sgt. Mahoney: I look for the same in a woman.

434984,434985c439584,439605
Lowell: You know, you're not going to get a lot of sympathy. Do you
  know how many people would give their right arm to live your life?
Suzanne: But that's the problem. I can't feel my life. I look around
  me and I know so much of it is good. But it's like this stuff with
  my mother. I know that she does these things because she loves
  me... but I just can't believe it.
Lowell: Maybe she'll stop mothering you when you stop needing
  mothering.
Suzanne: You don't know my mother.
Lowell: I don't know your mother, but I'll tell you something. She
  did it to you and her mother did it to her and back and back and
  back all the way to Eve and at some point you just say, "Fuck it, I
  start with me."
Suzanne: Did you just make that up?
Lowell: Yeah, well, I was working on it when you came in. If you'd
  shown up a half hour later like you were supposed to, it would have
  been better.
Suzanne: It's pretty good as it is.
Lowell: Yeah, you just like it because it sounds a little like movie
  dialogue.
Suzanne: That's right, I don't want life to imitate art, I want life
  to be art.
435048a439669,439684
Suzanne: Aw, shut up, Grandma.
Grandma: I beg your pardon?
Suzanne: I should think you would.
Grandma: If your mother had given you a pop on the butt when you were
  little like I told her...
Suzanne: I'm simply suggesting we all try to enjoy one another
  without having to assign blame.
Grandma: Ooh, listen to Miss Snootybritches. "Assign blame," hee hee.
  [Suzanne pushes her towards the door] What do you think you're
  doing?
Suzanne: I'm moving you out to the waiting room.
Grandma: Well, you don't have to shove! [She leaves]
Doris: If I thought I made you feel like that, I'd kill myself.
Suzanne: Don't say that, Ma, even in jest. You're in a hospital,
  people might take it the wrong way.

436597a441234,441266
God: [whispering] Moses...
Moses: Here I am.
God: Take the sandals from your feet, for the ground on which you
  stand is holy ground.
[Moses does so]
Moses: Who are you?
God: [loudly] I AM THAT I AM.
Moses: I don't understand.
God: I am the God of your fathers: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
disembodied voices in the background: [Miriam] "You were born of my
  mother Yohebeth. You are our brother!"*
Moses: What do you want with me?
God: I have seen the oppression of my people in Egypt and have heard
  their cry for deliverance.
[disembodied cry of slaves and sound of whips]
God: So I shall stretch out my hand and lead them out of Egypt. I
  will lead them to a new land, a better land, a land flowing with
  milk and honey. And so to free them, unto Pharaoh I shall send...
  YOU.
Moses: Me? W-who am I to be sent? They won't follow me, they won't
  even listen to me.
God: I shall teach you what to say.
disembodied voice: [Moses] "Let my people go!"
Moses: But I was their enemy. I was who they hated. You must
  understand! You've chosen the wrong messenger! How can I even talk
  to them? How can I even speak to them?
God: [furious] WHO MADE MAN'S MOUTH? WHO MADE THE DEAF, THE MUTE, THE
  SEEING OR THE BLIND? DID NOT I? NOW GO! [soothing] Oh, Moses, I
  shall be with you when you go to see the king of Egypt but Pharaoh
  will not listen. So I shall stretch out my hand and smite Egypt
  will all my wonders! Take the staff in your hand. With it, you
  shall do my wonders! [whispering] I will be with you.

436629c441298
Rameses: The "weak link in the chain." That's what he called me.
437197c441866
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! [Pause] Where was I?
437238,437239c441907,441908
Inigo Montoya: But this is Buttercup's true love - If you heal him,
  he will stop Humperdinck's wedding.
437241c441910
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!
437244a441914,441924
[After being beaten by Westley]
Inigo Montoya: Kill me quickly.
Westley: I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist
  like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either...
[knocks him out]
Westley: Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.

[About to sic his lackeys on Fezzik, Inigo and Westley]
Count Rugen: Kill the giant and the dark one, leave the third for
  questioning.

439210a443891,443900
Mary Samuels/Mary Loomis: Then who did it?
Norman Bates: My mother did, she told me so herself.
Mary Samuels/Mary Loomis: Oh Norman... You're mad don't you know
  that? You're as mad as a hatter.
[The telephone rings]
Norman Bates: Should I answer it?
Mary Samuels/Mary Loomis: Why bother? It's only my mother. She
  shouldn't be calling she should be sitting back and gloating.
Norman Bates: I better answer it.

439328a444019,444092
Norman Bates: Oh, I've killed before, and now I'm gonna have to kill
  again.

Young Norman Bates: Drive whore!

Young Norman Bates: You take my father's robe off!
Chet Rudolph: Oh a... no underwear. You see Norman, it's not polite
  to be naked around a lady unless you're having sex with her.
  Otherwise, it's just not respectable.

Chet Rudolph: Your not a girl are ya? Your mother swore to me you
  were a boy and she even said you were well hung. Well that's what
  she said!
Young Norman Bates: Shut up!

Chet Rudolph: Where does that boy get his ways?
Norma Bates: Not from me.

[Norman and Norma are on top of each other]
Norma Bates: Get off of me! You are going to learn to forget all
  about that filthy thing of yours! Here put this on! Girl! Yes girl!
  Mama's little girl!
[Norma puts a dress and lipstick on Norman]
Young Norman Bates: No, I'm not a girl,
[Norma puts Norman in the closet and hands him a iced tea pitcher]
Norma Bates: Here get in there. You will stay locked in there until
  you learn not to say "no" to your mother when she tells you you're
  a girl. And you'll probably have to make wee wee, And you'll squat
  over this! That's all that thing of yours is for, making wee wee!
  You clear on that! Answer me! You clear on that Norma!
Young Norman Bates: Mother please! Mother please let me out. Please
  mother.

Young Norman Bates: All that faith and no potatoes.

[Norma starts to hit Norman]
Young Norman Bates: What... What did I do?
Norma Bates: Nothing, nothing, nothing!
Young Norman Bates: What's wrong?
Norma Bates: They're closing down the highway and building a new one.
  They couldn't build it closer to the motel because then the world
  could still see us! Oh, what am I going to do! How am I going to
  live! You! Just like my father never a drop of sympathy! It's
  because of you that I can't hold my water, that's why I'm always
  running to the toilet did you know that!
Young Norman Bates: Yes I know.
Norma Bates: I regret the day that I ever had you! Not one thing
  you've ever said or done has been worth all this! Not one blasted
  thing! I should have killed you in my womb! You sure as hell tried
  to kill me getting out of it!

Norma Bates: Get that whore out of my house!

Norman Bates: Fran, if the doctor is trying to turn this into some
  incest tragedy, tell him to forget it.
Fran Ambrose: Forget it doc.

Norman Bates: Just me and my trusty umbrella.

Norman Bates: Connie!

Connie Bates: No Norman! No more blood.

[Norma finds pornography in Norman's bedroom]
Norma Bates: You dirty little bastard! Go out there and throw this in
  the garbage,
[Norman starts to put his clothes on]
Norma Bates: No! Go as you are! Maybe the rain will wash some of the
  dirt out of your system! Pig! Dirty little pig! Dirty as your whole
  whore-mongering sex!

Fran Ambrose: Well we have to call you something.
Norman Bates: Then call me Ed.

440183a444948,444949
Barry Egan: I would say that's that, mattress man.

440223a444990,445005
Barry Egan: [out of breath to his love Lena] Lena. I'm so sorry. I'm
  so sorry I left you at the hospital. I called a phone-sex line... I
  called a phone-sex line beofre I met you, and four blondes brothers
  came after me and they hurt you, and I'm sorry. Then I had to leave
  again because I wanted to make sure you never got hurt again. And I
  have a lot of puddings, and in six to eight weeks it can be
  redeemed. So if you could just give me that much time, I think I
  can get enough mileage to go with you wherever you go if you have
  to travel for your work. Because I don't ever want to be anywhere
  without you. So could you just let me redeem the mileage?

Barry: I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I
  don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me?
Walter: Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could
  give you?

440293a445076,445120
# Punisher, The (2004)
Candelaria: God go with you!
The Punisher: I think he'll take this one off.

The Punisher: You killed my family.
John Saint: You killed my son!
[distant explosion kills Saint's remaining son]
The Punisher: Both of them.

Howard Saint: You killed my son!
John Saint: [inside the club] No! [muffled explosion]
Frank Castle: Both of them.

Howard Saint: Make Castle dead!

Joan: What makes you any different from them?
The Punisher: They have something to lose.

Joan: Where will you be?
The Punisher: You'll know, read your paper every morning.
Joan: Which section?
The Punisher: The obituaries.

Candelaria: Vaya con Dios, Castle. Go with God.
Frank Castle: God's going to sit this one out.

The Punisher: Out the window.

The Punisher: Get up. Wheel the money out.

Joan: I know what it's like. I know what it's like to make your
  memories go away. You can make new memories; good ones. Good
  memories can save your life.
The Punisher: I'm not what your lookin' for.

The Punisher: Howard Saint!

Frank Castle: [throws down pictures] I made you kill your best
  friend. [throws down earring] I made you kill your wife. [pause]
  Now I'm gonna kill you.

Harry Heck: You are one dumb son of a bitch. Bringing a knife to a
  gunfight.


440576c445403
The Countess: Go with the real guy, honey, we're limited.
440601c445428
Movie Patron: You can't talk to my wife that way - who do you think
441748a446576,446586
# Quints (2000) (TV)
Jim Grover: It's quints.

Nancy Grover: Zoe, have you ever changed a baby's diaper?
Zoe: Does a doll count?

Nancy Grover: Let's start you off with a girl.
Jamie: Boys tend to pee on you.
Zoe: Um, ew.


444383c449221
[A hotel employee hands Nick Schaffer his bill]
444387c449225
Employee: Let's see..."Afro Whores".
444519a449358,449359
[Tracy gives Nick a can of paint while she's throwing debris on her
  cheating boyfriend's car]
444524a449365,449366
Enrico Pollini: Ooooh look! Cock doggies!

447197c452039
Guy #1: Tuesday's coming. Did you remember to bring your sweater?
450935c455777
Sheriff 'Blue Tom' Hendricks: I should've taken you this morning!
450938c455780,455781
Col. Cord McNally: Mr. Phillips; you watch Ketchum while we go
  inside.
450943c455786,455787
Col. Cord McNally: Dammit, Mr. Phillips! Don't you know any other
  songs?
450947,450949c455791,455793
Col. Cord McNally: Not as long as you're playin' that harp.
Phillips: I'll put it up! (throws harp in the trash can) What about
  Ketchum? He don't get no beer, does he?
452710,452725d457553
452793,452795d457620
452804,452809d457628
452879,452881d457697
452896,452905d457711
452909,452911d457714
452953,452960d457755
453011,453021d457805
453998a458783,458786
# Rocket Gibraltar (1988)
Levi Rockwell: Nothing's as good as a midnight pee in the ocean.


454245a459034,459048
# Rockman 8 (1997) (VG)
Clown Man: Weakling! This isn't a joking matter!

[Blowing up]
Clown Man: See you in my dreams!

Duo: My name is Duo. I was created with the sole purpose of
  destroying the evil energy.

Frost Man: Duh... I will freeze you, I will turn you into a popsicle!

[Blowing up]
Grenade Man: THAT FELT GOOD!


454819,454824c459622,459627
Rocky: Oh, Adrian. Adrian always tells the truth. No, maybe I can't
  win. Maybe the only thing I can do is just take everything he's
  got. But to beat me, he's going to have to kill me. And to kill me,
  he's gonna have to have the heart to stand in front of me. And to
  do that, he's got to be willing to die himself. I don't know if
  he's ready to do that. I don't know.
454854,454856c459657,459659
[Addressing the Soviet Union]
Rocky: I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I can change, and you
  can change, everybody can change.
454888c459691
Drago: To the end.
454897,454898c459700,459701
Rocky: There's a lot I could say about this man, but I don't know if
  it matters now. I guess what matters is what he stood for, what he
454914a459718,459722
Apollo: Nah, I'm not angry with him. I just wanna show the whole
  world that RUSSIA doesn't have all the best athletes!
Apollo: Well, I've been with the best, and I've BEAT the best! I've
  retired more men than Social Security!

462977a467786,467791
Dieter: Would you like to touch my monkey?
Guest: I would be honored to.
Dieter: Touch him! Love him! Liebe meine abschmenkee!
[Guest shakes hands with Dieter's pet monkey]
Dieter: Now I am as happy as a little girl.

463797c468611,468612
  of me and my men - -especially you, Reiben - -to ease her
  suffering.
463940c468755
  Rem»al, and finding him so he can go home, if that earns me the
464059a468875,468879
Old James Ryan: Tell me I've led a good life.
Ryan's Wife: What?
Old James Ryan: Tell me I'm a good man.
Ryan's Wife: You *are*.

464216c469036
  be, never be me. NO... NO, NEVER, NEVER, EVER. And don't you EVER
466352a471173,471196
[Dewey Plays the song in the jukebox]
Rosalie Mullins: I LOVE THIS SONG!
Dewey Finn: Really?
Miss Mullins: Yes! Stevie Nicks!
Dewey: Yeah... Stevie!
Miss Mullins: You know she came to town and she did a concert and she
  was just so... wild! oh my gosh oh!
Dewey: yeah, she put on the best show I've ever seen. And she is so
  much better live than she is on the album!
Miss Mullins: yes oh my gosh no comparison!
Dewey: You know I'd like to take the kids to a concert.
Miss Mullins: Concert?
Dewey: There is one at the end of the month... but you have a policy
  about field trips.
Miss Mullins: Would it be... educational?
Dewey: would it be educational it would be VERY educational they play
  Beethoven and mozzart and stuff.
Miss Mullins: Maybe we can make an exception!
Dewey: YES!
Miss Mullins and Dewey: [singing the Stevie Nicks song while doing a
  high-5] Sings a song, sounds like she's singing whooo! baby whoo!
  Said whooo!
Miss Mullins: Well I went today, maybe I will go again... TOMMOROW!

466706a471551,471552
McDuff: You really think that I would let Ed keep bullets in his gun?

468032c472878
  Aaron, Martha, and Ben]
468045c472891
  human scalps in Chief Scar's tent]
468048c472894
  Debbie]
468054c472900
  of a dead Comanche warrior]
468057c472903
[Ethan shoots out the eyes of the Comanche warrior]
468090a472937,472940
[Laurie is reading a letter from Martin concerning his Indian wife]
Laurie Jorgenson: "She wasn't as old as you are." HOW OLD DOES HE
  THINK I AM?

468329c473179
  plant us in the damn garden, next to the stupid lion.
470211a475062,475143
# Serpent's Kiss, The (1997)
Juliana: You can't swim. I suppose you could drown, though. Anybody
  can do that. Even on dry land.

Chrome: Your servant.
Thea: Your mistress.

Thea: It's so undignified... lying on your back with your legs spread
  out.

Madam Clevely: Any flowers?
Chrome: This is an Anglo-Dutch garden, madam, with French influence.
  We have progressed from flowers. A garden is a celebration of art's
  triumph over nature.
Fitzmaurice: We shall be the fucking flowers. We shall provide the
  color and scent as we walk among the gravel paths.

Thea: [on spotting Chrome walking through the wilderness, nude]
  Mynheer Chrome, is it you? You seem so... different.

Smithers: Well, Chrome, shall we make the desert bloom?
Chrome: First we must make the desert.

Fitzmaurice: Don't you remember? Cousins can do things that other
  people can't. And we were more than children before anyone knew
  what we were up to.
Juliana: Even we didn't know.

Fitzmaurice: Could you lend me a carriage?
Smithers: My dear James, have you nothing of your own?
Fitzmaurice: Taste, my dear Thomas. Taste.

Chrome: There's something missing.
Smithers: Missing?
Chrome: Yes.
Smithers: The bills lack nothing. Nothing missing from the bills.

[Chrome and Juliana are talking in the hothouse at night]
Chrome: There will be flowers of brown and green and black.
Juliana: Black?
Chrome: The Larousse collection specializes in dark plants, often
  black. Primula Arricula. Canna Indica. Tulipfera Nigra. Anemone
  Atrocarrulea.
Juliana: I would be unacceptable then in a Larousse collection.
Chrome: Oh, I think you would be rare enough, exotic enough.
Juliana: But my skin is white.
Chrome: Completely white?
Juliana: Completely.
Chrome: No blemishes, no stains? [Juliana shakes her head "no."] But
  inside [Chrome licks his fingers and begins to put out the candles,
  one at a time]... deep inside... there is a darkness.
Juliana: I feel there is. I can't be sure. It would need an expert
  touch to discover and comfirm it.
Chrome: Perhaps if Monsieur Larousse was here he would be able to
  verify.
Juliana: But in the absence of Monsieur Larousse - ...
Chrome: I am not worthy.
Juliana: And I might not always find it convenient to wait for the
  arrival of Monsieur Larousse. May I move now? [She flutters her
  fan, extinguishing the last candle]

Chrome: Thea! Please! Why won't you listen to me?
Thea: Because you're saying nothing. Whisper your sweet nothings to
  my mother. She will hear you. I can't. Good-bye, Mr. Chrome,
  whoever you are.

Fitzmaurice: Your husband is cursing God. Fortunately God can't hear
  his blasphemies above the noise of the wind.

Chrome: I want no more part of it.
Fitzmaurice: For one who so enjoys outdoor activity, you are
  surprisingly unconcerned for your freedom.

Smithers: [referring to his artificial hill] The swollen belly of my
  pride!

Secretary: [on finding Thea in the carriage] She can't come with us.
  She... [Chrome grabs him by the throat]
Chrome: You ever wonder what happened to the real Mynheer Chrome?
  Hmm?


473693,473694d478624
473697,473702c478627
Ed: Any zombies out there?
473704,473707c478629,478634
Ed: What?
Shaun: That...
Ed: What?
Shaun: The "Z" word
Ed: Why?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous.
473737,473738c478664,478729
Ed: What's the plan then?
Shaun: Right, we take Petes car, we drive over to moms, we go in,
  take care of Phillip ["I'm so sorry Phillip"]
  then we grab mom, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of
  tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over
Ed: We've we got to go to Liz's
Shaun: Because we do
Ed: But she dumped you
Shaun: I have to know if she's alright
Ed: Why?
Shaun: Because I love her!
Ed: Alright... gayyyy, I'm not staying there though
Shaun: Why not?
Ed: If we hole up I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where
  the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
Shaun: Ok, we take Pete's car, go around mum's, go in, deal with
  Phillip ("Sorry Phillip"), grab mum, go to Liz's, pick her up,
  bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole
  thing to blow over
Ed: Perfect
Shaun: No, no no no, no wait, we can't bring her back here.
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Well it's not really safe is it?
Ed: Yeah, look at it.
Shaun: Where's safe? where's familiar?
Ed: Where can we smoke?
[Shaun and Ed pause then slowly make a realization]
Shaun: Take car, go to mum's, kill Phil ("sorry"), grab Liz, go to
  the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to
  blow over, how's that for a slice of fried gold?
Ed: YEAH BOY!

Ed: It's not Hip hop... it's electro... prick.

Ed: He's dead next time I see him.

David: We're in a pub! What're we going to do now?
Ed: Get a round in?

Shaun: Kill the Queen!
Liz: What?
Shaun: The music!

Liz: Just somewhere private where we can...
Ed: Fuck...
Liz: Spend some time together...

[Shaun is channel hopping]
[Channel 4 News]
: Though no-one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are
  calling it Judgement Day. There's...
[VH1, playing 'Panic' by The Smiths]
: Panic on the streets of London...
[ITV News]
: As an increasing number of reports of...
[Football]
: Serious attacks on...
[Five News]
: People, who are being...
[Nature documentary, leopards eating a gazelle]
: Eaten alive...
[Sky News]
: But witness reports are sketchy. One unifying detail seems to be
  that the attackers in many instances appear to be...
[T4]
: Dead excited to have with us here a sensational chart topping...
473740,473742c478731,478732
Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
476177c481167
Cap'n Andy Hawks: It's Saturday night again! [He slaps Parthy
476179c481169
Parthy: Oh! It's Wednesday night and don't you strike me!
476181,476182c481171,481173
Parthy: Yes, and Fourth of July... and Christmas... and [imitating
  Cap'n Andy when he celebrates New Year's Eve] Hap - -- -py New
  Year!
476186c481177
Magnolia: Everything can be temporary - -except us.
476193c481184
Magnolia: [to Gaylord Ravenal] I know there's no other woman... no
476204a481196,481198
Drunk: [on hearing Magnolia try to sing at the Trocadero] Take her
  back to the river... hee, hee, hee!

476210a481205,481209
# Show Me Your Tattoo (1999)
Angela: Hungry? Hungry? You can't make this small sacrifice to your
  loving wife?


476594a481594,481597
[Shrek comes upon the Big Bad Wolf dressed in Grandma's clothing in
  his bed]
Big Bad Wolf: [shrugging defensively] What?

480641c485644
[In response to Death coming for him]
483044a488048,488051
# Smala Sussie (2003)
Pölsa: Pölsa has no fear, because he got a lot of beer.


484216a489224,489227
[repeated line]
various characters: [regarding Boris The Blade] Sneaky fuckin'
  Russian.

485654a490666,490673
# Somebody Killed Her Husband (1978)
Jerry Green: I can offer you instant poverty plus an employees'
  discount at Macy's.
Jenny Moore: I accept.
Jerry Green: Did I - did I just ask you to marry me and you said yes?
Jenny Moore: Yes!


488224,488231c493243,493254
Dark Helmet: What's the matter with this thing? What's with all that
  churning and bubbling? You call that a Radar Screen?
[Sandurz points to the sign on the machine]
Colonel Sandurz: No sir, we call it Mr. Coffee. Care for some?
Dark Helmet: I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!
Colonel Sandurz: Of course I do, sir.
Dark Helmet: Everybody knows that!
All the henchmen in the room: Of course we do, sir!
Dark Helmet: Now that I have my coffee I'm ready to watch radar.
  Where is it?
Colonel Sandurz: Right here, sir.
[Sandurz points to the sign on the radar screen that says Mr. Radar]
488251a493275,493301
Dark Helmet: If there's one thing I despise, it is a fair fight. But
  if I must, then I must. May the best man win. Put 'er there.
[Reaches out to shake Lone Starr's hand and takes his Schwartz ring]
Dark Helmet: The Ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick
  in the book! What a fool, what's with you man, c'mon? Here let me
  give it back to you. Oh! [throws it down a hole]
Dark Helmet: Oh, look at that, you fell for that too! I can't believe
  it, man!

Dark Helmet: We were told to comb the desert so we're combing it.
[to two henchmen with a giant comb]
Dark Helmet: Found anything yet?
Henchmen: Nothing sir!
[to two more henchmen with a giant comb]
Dark Helmet: How bout you?
Henchmen: Not a thing sir!
[to two more henchmen with a smaller comb]
Dark Helmet: What about you guys?
Henchmen: We ain't found shit!

Barf: (reacting to the guards being shot by Princess Vespa) HOLY
  SHIT!
Princess Vespa: How was that?
Lone Starr: Not bad.
Barf: Not bad... for a girl.
Dot Matrix: Hey that was pretty good for RAMBO!

488334,488336c493384,493388
[At film's end]
Tom Trimble: Live happily ever after. Isn't that what you're supposed
  to do in a situation like this?

Clarence: [Waving a US flag] It's from his Uncle Sam!
489695,489696c494747,494748
Uncle Ben: Peter, look. You're changing. I know. I went through
  exactly the same thing at your age.
489706,489712c494758,494764
[trying to learn how to shoot a web]
Spider-Man: Go web. Fly. Up, up, and away web. Shazam. Go! Go! Go web
  go! Tally ho.

Peter Parker: Some spiders change colors to blend into their
  environment. It's a defense mechanism.
Harry Osborn: Peter, what makes you think I would want to know that?
489716,489717c494768,494769
Peter Parker: The Human Spider.
Ring Announcer: The Human Spider? That's it? That's the best you've
489720c494772
Ring Announcer: Oh that sucks.
489733c494785
[Peter is going to take a picture of Mary Jane]
489737,489738c494789,494790
Norman Osborn: They're all beautiful, until they're snarling after
  your trust fund like a pack of ravening wolves.
489740,489741c494792,494793
Harry Osborn: One day Spider-Man will pay. I swear on my father's
  grave Spider-Man will pay.
489752,489753c494804,494805
Bonesaw McGraw: Hey freak show! You're going nowhere. I got you for
  three minutes. Three minutes of playtime.
489756c494808
Green Goblin: To do what you can't, to say what you won't, to remove
489759,489762c494811,494813
Uncle Ben: [changing a light bulb] And the Lord said, "Let there be
  light." And voilà! There is light. Forty soft, glowing watts of it.
Aunt May: God boy. God will be thrilled, just don't fall on your ass.
489771c494822
[BOOOOOOOM]
491456c496507
Charlotte Inwood: He was an abominable man. Why do women marry
491891c496942
  Goofy?...
491893c496944
Chris: He can't be a dog he wears a hat and drives a car...
491924c496975
[Chris drags Gordie behind the building to show him his gun]
491929,491931d496979
491955,491956c497003
  That's easy. Pez. Cherry flavor Pez. There's no doubt about it.
491963,491964c497010,497011
Vern: No I saw him on TV the other day he was holding five elephants
  in one hand.
491968c497015
Vern: I guess you're right. It'd be a good fight though.
491980c497027
Teddy: I'm gonna rip your head off and SHIT down your neck!
491982,491983c497029,497030
Grown Gordie: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had
  when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
491987c497034
Teddy: Yeah... I cherish these moments!
491992c497039
Gordie: Biggest one in four counties.
492010c497057
Chris: Shit no, what do you think I am?
492012c497059
Chris, Gordie: JESUS!
492292c497339
[Their first look at the U.S.S. Excelsior]
492365c497412
[Kirk finds McCoy in Spock's quarters]
492393c497440
[Kirk, McCoy and Sulu enter the transporter room]
492405c497452
Commander Nyota Uhura: This isn't reality. [Turns a phaser on him]
492411c497458
[Falls into the closet and shuts the door]
492428c497475
[Witnessing the destruction of the Enterprise]
492473a497521,497529
Kruge: I come all-l the way across the universe... and what do I
  find?

Kirk: [stomping on Kruge the Klingon] I have had... enough... of YOU!
[Kruge falls into the abyss]

[McCoy is informed of the danger of the transfusion]
McCoy: I choose the danger! [to Kirk] hell of a time to ask...

492485c497541
[Explaining Spock's odd behavior]
492489c497545
[Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly]
492511c497567
  the 20th century]
492550c497606
[Gillian has just beamed aboard the Klingon ship for the first time]
492666c497722
[Gillian squeals to a stop]
492680,492686c497736
Klingon Ambassador: Behold the quintessential devil in these matters:
494933a499984,499987
[Luke and Leia are about to swing over the hole. Leia gives Luke a
  kiss]
Princess Leia: For luck.

496486a501541,501614
# Star of Christmas, The (2002) (V)
Cavis: Ah, Millward, in this modern age it isn't enough just to have
  a great story, anymore. No, you need to show the audience something
  they've never seen before!
Millward: You got a monkey that can yodel?

Faerie Peas, Faerie Peas: [singing] Oh, we are the faerie peas! We
  like to eat strawberry cheese! Oh, we are the faerie peas of
  Christmas!

Millward: [trying to find a rhyme for "possum"] Schlossum...
  crossum... tra-la-la-la-lossum...

Cavis: I wonder what a Star of Christmas is, anyway?
Arthur Hollingshead: Beg pardon - were you asking about the Star of
  Christmas?
Cavis: Uh... yeah?
Arthur Hollingshead: Yes, indeed. The Star of Christmas of
  Canterbury, one of the finest existing examples of sixth-century
  metalwork, given by St. Gregory the Great to the monks at
  Canterbury August 14, 592. This astonishing gold and silver
  five-point star later decorated the courts of King Edward the
  Confessor, William the Conqueror, and James the Lethargic before
  coming to rest at the church you see behind you in 1638.

Arthur Hollingshead: The star hasn't been publicly displayed since
  February 12, 1803, due to the perceived security risks from the
  reigns of King Charles the Greedy and Cedric the
  I'll-Eat-Anything-Star-Shaped!

Cavis: What have I said all along?
Seymour: You can't do any heavy lifting. Football injury.
Cavis: No, besides that. What's the other thing I've said all along?

Millward: And, and, and I think I could return the costumes... except
  for maybe the one Winston spiled mustard on...

Millward: And, and, and I think I could return the costumes... except
  for maybe the one Winston spilled mustard on...

Plumber: [singing] Your pipes are corroded, the water won't drain /
  Your toilet exploded, you're flushing in vain!

Rev. Gilbert: Well, Moyer, thanks for helping out with the Ladies
  Temperance League dinner.
Moyer: Aye, Reverend. For bein' so temperate, they sure can eat.

Cavis: Millward, you still here? What are you doing?
Millward: I'm praying to be delivered from the mighty and fearsome
  hand of Moyer the Destroyer.

Laundry Man: [delivering convenient laundry cart, into which Cavis
  and Millward fall] Why does everyone want their laundry picked up
  at night all of a sudden?

Seymour: Under no circumstances should you use rocket eleven. It has
  not been tested!

Seymour: [explaining his rocket car] Oh, yeah. Uh, the brakes only
  work if you're on the ground. So, uh, try to stay on the ground.
Cavis: I... I didn't know that was optional!

Millward: We've gotta make it to the church on time!

Seymour: This just keeps gettin' weirder.

Millward: The last rocket... it's dying!
Cavis: And the drawbridge is going up.
Rev. Gilbert: We were so close.
Edmond: Oh, well. Thanks for trying, guys.
Cavis: Who coulda guessed we'd run out of rockets?
Millward: Not *completely* out of rockets...


497577a502706,502710
# Stateside (2004)
SDI Skeer: You are here because you could not be trained to become
  men by the mothers of America.


498597a503731,503740
Rory: That's Grossberger. He killed his whole family one weekend and
  then the next day killed five people that looked like his family.

[Harry slaps Rory hand when he touches his arm]
Harry: Stop that! What did you do anyway?
Rory: I killed my daddy.
Harry: What did you do that for?
Rory: He laughed at my suede jacket (pause) and he slapped my hand.
Harry: Oh. (Puts Rory's hand back on his arm)

498907a504051,504070
Ben: Isn't this the moment where one of us is supposed to say: Look,
  this is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through
  this, let's give it another try.

Katie: Once you establish *anything* truly intimate with another
  person - even *talking* - it has to affect the person you're
  supposed to be the most intimate with.

Katie: There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And
  you think, I don't know, that time will diminish their presence -
  an-an-and to a degree it does - but, ah... it still hurts. Because,
  well... hurt hurts.

Rachel: [to Katie] But that's Ben - that's who you fell in love with.
  Katie, you are at 80 who you are at 8. People don't *change*!
[following scene]
Rachel: [to Ben] People *change* over time - you've got to expect
  that. Ben, the only way a relationship works is if people grow and
  change together!

499763c504926
# Street Fighter II Movie (1994)
500298c505461
Scott: Liz...
500305a505469,505472
[repeated line]
Otto (I), Barry: Son, can I bend your ear for a tick?
Mercurio, Paul: Not now, Dad.

501795,501797c506962,506965
  D's!
Dianne's Dad: Honey, don't show them those! [to Jack's parents] And
  I'm Dianne's dad, Dennis. Now, don't try that after one of my
  screw-drivers.
502305a507474,507478
# Summer Lovers (1982)
Lina: Jealousy doesn't show how much you love someone, it shows how
  insecure you are.


502913a508087,508089
Daisy: How's Daniella?
Mario: Oh, Daniella! I promised to take her to Wrestlemania.

502922a508099,508115
Bowser Jr.: This is my magic brush. When I draw with this all my
  wishes comes true! A strange old man in a white coat gave it to me.
Fludd: A strange old man... a white coat?

Toad #1: [Examining the paint] What's this icky, paint-like goop?
Toad #2: It's... moving!
Toadsworth: Now, now, boys; don't touch that stuff.

Toadsworth: I am most concerned with the well-being of the Princess
  in this dreadful heat.

Princess Peach: That... that shadow.

Toadsworth: Princess, look! On the statue's head!
Princess Peach: What? [Shadow Mario appears, then spots Princess
  Peach] MARIO?

503505c508698
  disagrees]
503510c508703
[After he's described his plan to trap Superman]
503514c508707
[Pointing to a map of California and the San Andreas fault]
503529c508722
  new map] Costa Del Lex. Luthorville. Marina del Lex. Otisburg -
503562c508755
[Superman gets a cat out of a tree]
503572,503575c508765,508769
  Wires." The Times: "Blue Bomb Buzzes Metropolis." The Planet. We
  are sitting on top of the story of the century here! I want the
  name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet
  like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics
  and corruption.
503577,503578c508771
[Superman and Lois are standing on opposite sides of a large planter]
503592c508785
Superman: Pink. [Lois walks back to the planter] Sorry, Miss Lane, I
503601c508794
[Miss Teschmacher is posing as the victim of a car wreck]
503606c508799
[Bends to the task. The Major pulls him to his feet]
503611c508804
[Superman breaks down Lex Luthor's door]
503643c508836
Ma Kent: Remember us, son. Always remember us.
503649c508842
[Superman appears in Luthor's office]
503651c508844
[Superman glares]
503668c508861
[Lex stands on a ladder searching for a book]
503672c508865
  shelf]
503699c508892
  to reveal a bald head]
503701c508894
[Otis looks on in disbelief]
503796c508989
General Zod: The next time - we will kill him.
503807a509001,509007
Ursa: Come forward. Your General wishes to speak.
General Zod: I am General Zod. Your ruler. Yes, today begins a new
  order. Your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly
  be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your
  obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words you
  will be allowed to live.
[Rips a Generals stars from his shoulder]
504748c509948
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Weren't you?
504751c509951
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: What's wrong with my hair?
504759c509959
[Lina starts to button her blouse]
504761c509961
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Why not?
504764,504765c509964,509966
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: I must go now or I'll be late to luncheon.
  Anyway, if my father saw me come in both late and beautiful, he
  might have a stroke.
504767c509968
[Johnnie and Lina are facing a large portrait of her father]
504769c509970
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: I know.
504774c509975
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Very distinctly.
504777c509978
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: I love him, father.
504779c509980
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: I did.
504786c509987
[Lina asks Johnnie how he intends to support them]
504789c509990
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: What?
504792,504793c509993,509994
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: When he enticed his victim across the
  footbridge, knowing that the bridge has been sawn through...
504796,504797c509997,509998
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Well, what I want to know is this. Would you
  call that an actual murder?
504808c510009
Lina McLaidlaw Aysgarth: Is whatever it is, painful?
506576,506577c511777,511778
[Fredrik rejects Karin's attempt to console him]
Fredrik: Thanks, I can give myself all the pity I want.
506579c511780
Fredrik: I'm an artist.
506581,506582c511782,511783
Fredrik: Yes, Princess, a thoroughbred artist: a poet with no poems,
  a painter with no pictures, a musician with no music. I despise
506800c512001
Harry Pendel: Yes, I love her. But I have never *made* love to her.
506805c512006
Andrew 'Andy' Osnard: Don't be a cunt, Harry, we're made for each
506807a512009
Harold 'Harry' Pendel: I had it out in prison, without an anesthetic.
506819,506820d512020
508288c513488
[To his turncoat son]
508291c513491
Taras: My son, why? Why?
508294c513494
  loved you as I loved the steppes. You were my pride! I gave you
508296a513497,513498
Taras: Put your faith in your sword and your sword in the Pole.

510623c515825
John Connor: Why didn't I send you back?
510625c515827
Kate Brewster: Why didn't he send you back?
512706a517909,517917
# Thieves Like Us (1974)
Bowie: Miss Keechie, do you know what the Mississippi state animal
  is?
Keechie Mobley: What?
Bowie: You know, the state animal.
Keechie Mobley: I don't know. A deer maybe?
Mobley: No sir! It's a squashed dog in the road!


513384c518595
[She shakes her butt]
513388c518599
[The girls walk out in two matching cut-up halter tops]
513392c518603
[As underage Evie tries to seduce him]
513404a518616,518633
[Tracy is on the phone in a tattoo shop]
Tracy: Hey mom, do you know what point-slop form is? No, me neither.
  See? That's why I need to be here... at the library.

Tracy: Hey Mason, who would you say is the hottest girl in school?
Mason: Evie Zamora.
Tracy: Guess who I hung out with today.
Mason: Bull.
Tracy: Melrose Avenue. (Mason looks at her in awe) What? Like that's
  so hard to believe...

Mason's Friends: The only way that movie would have been any good is
  if Britney had had that big ass booty bouncing around. I just
  wanted to see some titties.

[singing]
Evie: The itsy-bitsy spider dropped acid at the park...

513716c518945
  It's sort of...
513777c519006
  really, but...
513781c519010
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...
513803c519032
  board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
513874,513875c519103,519104
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.
513898c519127
  power - and their punctuality. That band was Britain's
513909c519138
  more, a lot more. But hey - enough of my yakkin'. Whaddaya say,
513925c519154
David St. Hubbins: We are Spinal Tap from the UK - you must be the
513936c519165
David St. Hubbins: Yeah! [singing] You're a naughty one...
513938c519167
David St. Hubbins: You're a horsey one, saucy Jack.
513945a519175,519182
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a musical trilogy I'm working on in D
  minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep
  instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.


# This Is a Life? (1955)
Daffy Duck: Easy stomach, don't turn over, now.

514187a519425,519427
[looking at one of the gargoyles on the building he's climbing]
Jimmy: Why, Judith Tremayne! Fancy meeting you here!

516647a521888,521901
Marek: Are you married?
Lady Claire: No. We have been fighting the English since before I was
  born. There is no time for marriage.
Marek: Well, are you... with anyone?
Lady Claire: With anyone? I'm with you...
Marek: I know, I know. What I mean is, is there anyone that... you
  see?
Lady Claire: That I see? Uhh... [looks around] Nobody... They might
  be hiding on the shore or... in the woods. They could be anywhere.

[Everyone is getting ready to leave, except for Josh Stern]
François: [to Stern] Remember the 50 bucks I owe you? [hands him an
  I.O.U]

516973c522227
[Byron the Basset Hound saves Babs and Buster by flying]
516977c522231
[After doing an obscenely loud sound demo prior to the movie]
516980,516981c522234,522236
[after a long, toon-type, water battle]
Buster Bunny: I do this water thing to Babsy through the entire
  video.
516986c522241
Babs Bunny: And here I thought it was Esperanto!
517003c522258
: Guess I'll never know the eternal answer!
517013a522269,522369
Plucky Duck: Now what do we do first? The beach? Camping? Or shall we
  slip the whole 12 weeks away in front of the boob toob?

Plucky Duck: There he goes, my best pal on a vacation of a lifetime.
  Why don't I sit here and drop alone?
[Car rushes back]
Winnie Pig: Oops, dropped the toilet paper.

Buster Bunny: Do your ears look better dry?... or wet?

Shirley the Loon: Mondo distress signal! Buster and Babs are like in
  peril! I'd rescue them if I didn't have this summer job.

Mary Melody: The box look is in!
Deer: Way in!

[The Pig family is singing "99 Bottles of Non-Alcoholic Beverage On
  the Wall"]
Plucky Duck: Call me picky, but isn't that song supposed to be "99
  Bottles of Beer On the Wall"?
Winnie Pig: We don't drink in our family, Plucky!

Plucky Duck: Is it just me, or is it hot in here? How about turning
  on the A.C., huh?
Wade Pig: Air conditioning wastes gas; I'll just crack the window.
Winnie Pig: Don't you dare, Wade! People will think we can't afford
  air conditioning!

Hampton Pig: Gee, Plucky, I guess you didn't get your wish.
Plucky Duck: Hey, neither did you guys.
Hampton Pig: Sure we did. We got the same wish we always do: to be a
  happy and loving family forever and ever.
Plucky Duck: Oh joy, oh rapture, oh for the love of Norman Rockwell
  and the Lettermen.

Babs Bunny: Why, Buster Bunny, are you falling for me?
Buster Bunny: [as they fall down a waterfall] You might say that!

Fifi: It is not over until the fat lady sings!
Fat Woman: [singing] O'er the land of the free and the home of the
  brave!

Winnie Pig: Now Plucky, we don't allow Hampton to read comic books on
  family trips.
Plucky Duck: Sheesh... Typical parents have to take the fun out of
  everything.
Hampton Pig: It's not that. Reading in the car always makes me...
  carsick.

Big Boo: [referring to Buster] Look, he's got no pants!

Babs Bunny: We've got snappers and crackers and poppers and bangers.
  We've got them Roman candles, yucky curly snakey things, and the
  little spinny whirly balls that never work.

Winnie Pig: Good Heavens, Plucky. If you drink that much water, we'll
  be stopping again in no time!

Fifi: That was my photograph! I cannot believe you!
Johnny Pew: Yeah? Well, I am pretty unbelievable.

Hampton Pig: Plucky? Wake up. We're almost there.
Plucky Duck: Heaven?
Hampton Pig: Not quite, but it's the next best thing: Happy World
  Land!

[Plucky is kissing the lawn]
Wade Pig: Careful, Plucky. We just had the lawn fertilized.

Babs Bunny: Head toward the light.

Winnie Pig: There's that nice young man we met.
Plucky Duck: WWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Winnie Pig: Did you give him our address?
Hampton Pig: No, Mom. I gave him Plucky's.
Plucky Duck: WHAT?

Wade Pig: Whoa! That was some time we had there!
Winnie Pig: I'll say! Now let's go home.
Hampton: Okay, Mom.
Plucky Duck: B-b-but we didn't do anything! All we did was ride
  around in the monorail!
Wade Pig: Can't do it all on the first visit, Plucky. Maybe you'll
  have to look forward to the next time we come.
Plucky Duck: WHAT? BUT WE CAME ALL THAT WAY... COULDN'T WE... ALL
  THAT TIME... FUN PIXIES... HAPPY-GO-PUKEY?
Winnie Pig: Oh dear, I guess Plucky's had way too much excitement for
  one day.
Wade Pig: Put him in back, Hampton.
Hampton: Okay.
Plucky Duck: [singing out of his mind] Happy World Land... Happy
  World Land... where all your dreams come true...

Babs Bunny: Oh, Buster, I didn't think I'd get a chance to tell
  you...
Buster Bunny: Shh. I feel the same way.

Choir: [singing] Happy World Land. Happy World Land. Where the fun
  doesn't stop at only 80 bucks of parking. Beautiful Happy World
  Land.

518727c524083,524085
Wyatt Earp} From now on I see a red sash, I kill the man wearing it.
  So run you cur. And tell the other curs the law is coming. I'm
  coming! And Hell's coming with me you hear! Hell's coming with me!:
523615c528973
[While Delbert is flying the ship]
523620a528979,528990
Jim: All that talk of greatness, light coming off my sails... what a
  joke.
Silver: Now see here, Jimbo...
Jim: ...I mean, at least you taught me one thing, "Stick to It",
  right? Well that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to make sure
  that you never see one doubloon of MY TREASURE!
Silver: That Treasure is Owed to ME, by 'tunder!
Jim: Well try to find it without my Map, by 'tunder!
Silver: Ohhh, You STILL don't know how to pick you fights, do ya boy?
  Now, Mark me: Either I get that map by dawn t'morrow or so help
  me... I'LL USE THE SHIPS CANNONS T'BLAST YA'LL TA KINGDOM COME!

523623c528993
[Howard eats, while Dobbs and Curtin snooze]
523666a529037,529095
Fred C. Dobbs: What a town. Tampico.
Bob Curtin: You said it, brother. If I just could get me a job that
  would buy me passage, I'd shake it's dust off my feet soon enough,
  you bet.

Fred C. Dobbs: You know, if I was a native, I'd get me a can of shoe
  polish and I'd be in business. They'd never let a gringo. You can
  sit on a bench 'till you're three-quarters starved, you can beg
  from another gringo, you can even commit burglary. You try shining
  shoes in the street, selling lemonade out of bucket, and your hash
  is settled. You'll never get another job from an American.
Bob Curtin: Yeah, and the natives would hound and pester you to
  death.
Fred C. Dobbs: Some town to be broke in.
Bob Curtain: What town isn't?

Howard: Say, answer me this one, will you? Why is gold worth some
  twenty bucks an ounce?
Flophouse Bum: I don't know. Because it's scarce.
Howard: A thousand men, say, go looking for gold. After six months,
  one of them's lucky. One out of a thousand. His find represents not
  only his own labor, but that of nine hundred ninety-nine others to
  boot. That's six thousand months, five hundred years, scrambling
  over a mountain, going hungry and thirsty. An ounce of gold is
  worth what it is, mister, because of the human labor that went into
  the finding and getting of it.
Flophouse Bum: I never thought of it just like that.
Howard: Well, there's no other explanation, mister. Gold itself ain't
  good for nothing except making jewelry with and gold teeth.

Howard: Gold's a devilish sort of thing, anyway. You start out, you
  tell yourself you'll be satisfied with 25,000 handsome smackers
  worth of it. So help me, Lord, and cross my heart. Fine resolution.
  After months of sweating yourself dizzy, growing short of
  provisions, and finding nothing, you finally come down to 15,000,
  then ten. Finally, you say, "Lord, let me find just $5,000 worth
  and I'll never ask for anything more the rest of my life."
Flophouse Bum: $5,000 is a lot of money.
Howard: Yeah, here in this joint it seems like a lot. But I tell you,
  if you was to make a real strike, you couldn't be dragged away. Not
  even the threat of miserable death would keep you from trying to
  add $10,000 more. Ten you'd want to get twenty-five, twenty-five
  you'd want to get fifty, fifty, a hundred. Like roulette. One more
  turn, you know. Always one more.

Fred C. Dobbs: I think I'll go to sleep and dream about piles of gold
  getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

Fred C. Dobbs: This is the country where the nuggets of gold are just
  crying out for you to take them out of the ground and make 'em
  shine in coins on the fingers and necks of swell dames.

Howard: Now here's where we're bound for, hereabouts. Don't show
  properly whether there's mountains, swamp, or desert. That shows
  the makers of the map themselves don't know for sure. Once on the
  ground, all we gotta do is open our eyes and look around. Yes, and
  blow our noses, too. Believe it or not, I knew a fellow once who
  could smell gold like a jackass can smell water.

525848,525849c531277,531279
[repeated line]
Truman: Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon,
  good evening, and good night!
525893,525894c531323,531324
Young Truman: I want to be an explorer, like the Great Magellan.
Teacher: [indicating a map of the world] Oh, you're too late! There's
526147c531577
[To his brother about his brother's family]
526182a531613,531615
Jesse: I'm going to see the whole world, every speck of it. Heck, I
  may even find some new continents or something!

527181a532615,532617
Jeremy Lewis: Why is it that a 2 litre bottle of coke costs 27 pence,
  but a 1 litre bottle costs 37 pence?

527675c533111
Gen. LeClair: To your virtues... and especially your vices, Sara
527678c533114
Hogan: I only figured there was going to be one funeral... Catholic.
528331c533767
  remember you... always like this.
528338c533774
  pick up a young chick like you and... call her a 'bimbo'.
528358c533794
Paul: I'm awfully sorry to intrude, but I was so... struck with your
528364a533801,533827
Jeanne: Let's drink a toast to our life in the hotel.
Paul: No fuck all that! Hey listen! Let's drink a toast to our life
  in the country.
Jeanne: You're a nature lover? You didn't tell me that.
Paul: Oh, for chrissa-, I'm nature boy. Can't you see me with the
  cows and the chickenshit all over me? Huh?
Jeanne: Oh, that's right. To the cows!
Paul: Cow.
Jeanne: I will be your cow too.
Paul: I get to milk you twice a day. How about that?

Paul: Even if a husband lives 200 hundred fucking years, he'll never
  discover his wife's true nature. I may be able to understand the
  secrets of the universe, but... I'll never understand the truth
  about you. Never.

Paul: It's me again.
Jeanne: It's over.
Paul: That's right. It's over and then it begins again.
Jeanne: What begins again? I don't understand anything anymore.
Paul: There's nothing to understand. We left the apartment, and now
  we begin and love all the rest of it.
Jeanne: The rest of it?
Paul: Yeah, listen. I'm 45. I'm a widower. I own a little hotel. It's
  kind of a dump, but not completely a flop house. Then I used to
  live on my luck and I got married, and my wife killed herself.

529159a534623,534632
Frances: This is really bad, isn't it?
Patti: Well, it's not good. Unless you want to give your butt a
  facial.
Frances: That's a contradiction in terms.

[at the Flag Festival]
Patti: These are straight men.
Frances: In tights.
Patti: Waving flags.

529346a534820,534822
The Man: Congratulations, Mr. Feather.
Mr. Feather: Thank you, Mister... The Man.

529951a535428,535435
[Cash is advocating killing the Kiowa outside of the house]
Ben: Alright, Cash. Let's see if they're after our scalps first.
  (Shoots the top of one Indian's lance)
Ben: I'm going out to talk. Cash, if they start any trouble, kill
  them.
Cash: When will that be?
Ben: When they kill me.

530096a535581,535585
# United States of Leland, The (2003)
Leland: You want a why. Well, maybe there isn't one. Maybe... Maybe
  this is just something that happened.


530195a535685,535686
Bugs Bunny: Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

530390c535881
[Ness has discovered Capone bribed the jury to acquit him]
530418c535909
Cadet: ...think I could help.
530420c535911
Cadet: ...with the force.
530422c535913
  leaves] There goes the next chief of police.
530478c535969
Eliot Ness: I said, "Never stop fighting till the fight is done."
530492c535983
Eliot Ness: Did it sound anything like THAT?
530496c535987
[Ness has just shot a gangster after the Canadian border raid]
530520c536011
Jim Malone: Who would claim to be that who was not? Hmm?
533119,533120c538610,538611
Rusty: I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a
  car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a
533139c538630
Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck?
533156c538647
[Clark is losing again at blackjack]
533162c538653
[Marty points to the Table Limit Sign $10 minimum]
533296a538788,538829
# VeggieTales: The Ultimate Silly Song Countdown (2001) (V)
Pa Grape: Ahoy there mateys! Welcome aboard the ship of the Pirates
  who Don't Do Anything.
Larry the Cucumber: Nothing.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry the Cucumber: Nada.

Pa Grape: Not so fast you lazies! Today we're doing a little
  something.
Larry the Cucumber: Not again!
Mr. Lunt: We did something yesterday!
Pa Grape: All you did was order Chinese.
Mr. Lunt: Hey! It's hard to say 'moo goo gai pan'. Whoops! I did it
  again. I'm beat.

: Number seven. The Dance of the Yodeling Cebu Lips.
Pa Grape: Hold it! Stop the countdown! I don't understand. There must
  be some mistake! I think perhaps the Astonishing Contraption of
  Silliness may need some recalibrating. This oughta do it.
[Pa Grape hits the Astonishing Contraption of Silliness with a wooden
  mallet]
The Astonishing Contraption of Silliness: Number seven. The Water
  Buffalo Song.
Pa Grape: Oh, that's a nice one. The grandfather of silly songs. The
  one that started the whole thing. Let's pause for a moment of
  respect, shall we?
[they wait two seconds]
Pa Grape: That's enough. Hit it!
[Larry the Cucumber hits the Astonishing Contraption of Silliness
  with his head]

Mr. Lunt: Hey... I smell something fishy.
Pa Grape: Uh, that's your friend.
[Larry the Cucumber offers some Chinese food]
Larry the Cucumber: Kung pao squid?
Mr. Lunt: Uh... no.

[about the "Pirates who Don't Do Anything" song]
Pa Grape: It sure beats the Forgive-a-matic.
Archibald Asparagus: I heard that!


534064a539598,539603
# Victoria Cross: For Valour, The (2003) (TV)
Jeremy Clarkson: [on Major Cain] His family didn't *know* he'd won a
  Victoria Cross until after he died. He hadn't thought to mention
  it.


534777a540317,540365
# Vojna i mir (1968)
Narrator: On 12th June, 1812, the forces of western Europe crossed
  the frontiers of Russia and war began.  In other words, an event
  took place that was contrary to all human reason and human nature.

[Prince Andrei is dying.]
Prince Andrei Bolkonsky: Natasha... I love you too much.  More than
  anything in the world.
Natasha Rostova: And I!  But why too much?
Prince Andrei Bolkonsky: Why too much?  Well, what do you think?
  What do you feel in your soul, deep in your soul?  Shall I live?
  What do you think?
Natasha Rostova: I'm sure of it.
Prince Andrei Bolkonsky: How good that would be.

Narrator: And not for this day and hour alone were the mind and
  conscience of this man darkened, on whom the burden of events
  weighed more heavily than on all the others who took part in it.
  Never, to the end of his life, had he the least comprehension of
  goodness, of beauty or of truth, or of the significance of his
  actions, which were too contrary to goodness and truth, too remote
  from everything human for him ever to understand their meaning.  He
  could not disavow his deeds, lauded as they were by half the world,
  and so he was obliged to renounce truth and goodness and all
  humanity.

[The Battle of Borodino drags on.]
Narrator: Enough, enough, men.  Stop, consider, what are you doing?
  Into the minds of tired and hungry men on both sides, a flicker of
  doubt began to creep.  Were they to go on slaughtering one another?
  Kill whom you like, do what you like, but I've had enough.  Yet
  some inexplicable, mysterious power continued to control them, and
  the terrible business went on, carried out not by the will of
  individual men.

Narrator: A moral victory which compels the enemy to recognize the
  moral superiority of his opponent and his own impotence was won by
  the Russians at Borodino.  The direct consequence of the Battle of
  Borodino was Napoleon's flight from Moscow, the destruction of the
  invading army of 500,000 men, and the destruction of Napoleonic
  France, on which was laid for the first time, at Borodino, the hand
  of an adversary stronger in spirit!

Narrator: I want only to say that it is always the simplest idas
  which lead to the greatest consequences.  My idea, in its entirety,
  is that if vile people unite and constitute a force, then decent
  people are obliged to do likewise; just that.


535090c540678
[first line]
535092a540681,540685
Mrs. Doctor Graves: Poor Daddy's been under such a strain recently.
Mary: If you ask me, he's acting like he just killed someone.
Mrs. Doctor Graves: Mary! Your father's a doctor... He kills people
  every day.

536183a541777,541781
Ray: Yeah casinos are all the same. Room full of fake boobs and real
  assholes.

One of Hamilton's guys: [to Ray] You stabbed me with a potato peeler!

536479,536527d542076
539550a545100,545112
Yuri: Where the hell have you been? Do you know what time it is?
  Where the hell is Tommy?
Bill: [spits] Here we go again.
Yuri: Hey I'm talking to you!
Joel: Look man! Tommy's at City Emergency Hospital He's sick!
Bill: Yeah he's turning in... [Joel motions Bill to be quiet]
Joel: He's real sick!
Yuri: What's wrong with him?
Joel: He got an infection from that thing he got cut on yesterday,
  that's all I know. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to
  work.
Yuri: Good!

541543a547106,547111
# When the Wind Blows (1986)
Hilda: Will we have an Anderson, like in the last war?
Jim: Oh no Dear, that's old-fashioned, with modern scientific methods
  you just use doors with cushions on top.


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[Thompson is speaking to a crowd of college students]
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  joints onto the stage] In my case, you know, I hate to advocate
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  urinating]
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Hunter S. Thompson: [into tape recorder] Forecast is for "bad
  craziness".

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Nora: Honey, I got everything you need.

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Roger Rabbit: Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like
  Goofy. What timing! What finesse! What a genius!

Roger Rabbit: Say, Eddie. That sure was a funny dance you did for the
  weasels. Do you think your days of being a sourpuss are over?
Eddie Valiant: Only time will tell.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, well... put 'er there, pal.
[They shake hands; Eddie gets shocked by buzzer on Roger's hand; he
  glowers at Roger]
Roger Rabbit: Don't tell me you lost your sense of humor already?
Eddie Valiant: [Grabbing Roger by the throat] Does this answer your
  question?
[Eddie kisses Roger in the mouth]

Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the
  Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now?
Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee?
  Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and body..."?
  It's the will!
Eddie Valiant: Keep reading.
Roger Rabbit: "... do hereby bequeath, in perpetuity, the property
  known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"!

Roger Rabbit: Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?

Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit...
  [goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget
  squats] about YEEEEAAAA BIG.
Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here
  harrassing my customers.
Judge Doom: I didn't come here to harrass. I came here to reward.
  [writes "Rabbit Dip $100,000" on the chalkboard]
Angelo: *wolf whistle* Hey, I see the rabbit.

Smart Ass: Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower?
  [referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the
  wall]
Judge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later.
  Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip.

Judge Doom: [picks up the record from the record player - reads]
  "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a dismal
  group of drunken reprobates.
[all the drinkers turn away and cough - Doom sniffs the record]
Judge Doom: HE'S HERE! [throws record like a Frisbee into Smart Ass's
  mouth]

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Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Oh, and don't forget the corpse.
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Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: A minute ago. I was just gonna brush my
  teeth.
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Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: I swear, I'm not gonna let anybody kill you.
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Zevo: Boss, u want us to check the bus?
Lazlo: As opposed to staring at the bus? OF COURSE U SHOULD GO CHECK
  THE BUS

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[Wild Bill and Calamity Jane are interrupted by a gunfighter during a
  romantic moment]
Wild Bill Hickock: You inconsiderate son of a bitch!

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[Crazy Lee has shot three hostages trying to escape]
Crazy Lee: Feathers flew like a turkey shoot! Well, they shouldn't
  have run; they shouldn't have run.

[Referring to the bank customers]
Crazy Lee: I kill 'em now?
Pike: No. Hold them here until the shooting starts.
Crazy Lee: I'll hold 'em here 'til Hell freezes over or you say
  different.

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Charles: You know this is exactly what my mom was afraid of... Peer
  pressure, and it's coming from my grandfather.

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  DEATH FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING DEATH FOR ME!
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: No. Thank you.
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Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: NOTHING! Thank you. I'm a little tired.
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Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
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General Lord Chelmsford: Brown, you will have time for lunch before
  you return to Isandlawhana.
Col. Hamilton-Brown: Kind of you, my lord; but I don't think it would
  be proper for me to sit here and eat while my men sit there with
  their bellies stuck to their backsides until we return to
  Isandlawhana. (Leaves Chelmsford's tent)
General Lord Chelmsford: [to Lt. Harford] Learn nothing from that
  *Irishman*, Harford; except how not to behave.